TheWiseGuise's Open Salon Blog

Pop Culture Top 12 of 2012

Wed, 19 Dec 2012 15:12:07 -0500

If the modern-day prophets who swear by the Mayan calendar are correct, then we only have a few days remaining on this wonderful paradise of a planet called Earth. Sad I know, but you couldn’t have asked for a better year from a pop culture perspective to bring things to a close. Every aspect of the arts – from music, to theater, to film, to gaming – was firing on all cylinders throughout the year.

2012 is more of a story of what didn’t go wrong rather than what did go right. Media companies and their employed entertainers took some big risks over the last 365 days that could have ended in disaster. Fortunately, catastrophes were side-stepped, and audiences enjoyed both the fresh takes and the old dogs that learned new tricks.

And here’s the cream-of-the-crop for your pre-apocalyptic analysis. Look at it this way: if humanity’s story comes to an end later this week, you’ll never have to endure the fanboy war online sure to come next year on whether or not ‘Man of Steel’ is any good. Always take a negative and make it a positive.

12. ‘The Perks of being a Wallflower’

Doing a film on high school these days is tough. Really tough. It feels as if we’ve seen every possible avenue of story-telling taken in the genre of awkward, coming-of-age youth. Imagine my surprise when ‘The Perks of being a Wallflower’ came on the scene and felt remarkably modern. Stripped away was the stereotypical feel and left in its place was a profoundly personal engagement rarely witnessed.

Raves can easily be heard by the cast headed up by Logan Lerman and the brilliant script, but ‘Perks’ is more powerful when it’s attempting to capture youth in a bottle. Learning what love is, how to make friends and how to adapt to the difficult transition between high school and college are all themes the film pulls off flawlessly and does so in an intoxicating fashion. It’s truly one of the best films of the year for those young and young at heart.

11. ‘Assassin’s Creed III,’ Ubisoft

Those wimps in Hollywood complain about having to put out a big blockbuster every few years. Just imagine the belly-aching they’d do if they had to produce a major sequel every 12 months. Yet, since 2007, that’s exactly what gaming publisher and developer Ubisoft has done with its lucrative ‘Assassin’s Creed’ franchise. Yearly installments have focused on multiple characters and points in time from the medieval days of Europe’s past.

Gamers were shocked when they learned the company’s third installment was announced to be taking place in the U.S. during colonial times. The latest entry focuses on the complex relationship between Native American tribes, immigrants fighting for freedom and a new country and their British enemy counterparts. The graphics are breathtaking, the gameplay is as solid as ever and the story is sublime, especially for a series that should be running short on ideas by now. Could a sequel pertaining to the Civil War be in the cards? We can only hope.

10. ‘Homeland,’ Showtime

To say 2012 has been a big year for Showtime’s young series would be an understatement. ‘Homeland’ started off the year by racking up every TV award possible, from being ushered in gold at the Golden Globes to easily walking away with a boatload of Emmys. The arrival of the second season was met with some of the strongest ratings any show on the network has enjoyed in years.

Critically and commercially a hit, ‘Homeland’ benefits from a strong following and a stamp of authenticity rarely seen in C.I.A. dramas. It eliminates the melodramatic for the more intense, personal connection we long for from a TV series. No wonder most major U.S. publications and even President Obama have praised the show as being one of the best things to happen to TV in years. In the often congested world of cable TV series, ‘Homeland’ easily stands out as one of the star pupils in the televised classroom.

9. Nicole Kidman in ‘The Paperboy’

If you come across anything as cinematically sexually charged as Nicole Kidman’s interrogation sequence in ‘The Paperboy,’ please let me know because I would love to see it. I’m betting you won’t, as this is one of the dirtiest rolls in the hay we’ve ever seen by an Oscar-winning actress. Despite languishing in mixed reviews, Lee Daniels’ ‘The Paperboy’ enjoyed a surge of popularity this year for its brashness, a quality that helped Kidman earn both Golden Globe and SAG nominations.

Watching the film, it’s easy to see why. Kidman’s Charlotte Bless is raw and unhinged, throwing conventions to the wayside and displaying Southern trashiness in all of its glory. Sure, we can make fun of the scene where she pees on an unconscious Zac Efron, but the very fact the hilarious bit works is a major tribute to her acting ability. Almost locked to get an Oscar nomination, Kidman continues to prove out of the current pack of talented middle-aged ladies working in Hollywood, she may in fact be the queen.

8. ‘The Death of a Salesman’ on Broadway

It feels like every year some highly anticipated Broadway production is letting us down. The formula is so easy by now: a big-name cast is announced for some famous play that everyone’s just sure will be the best thing to ever grace the New York stage. Then, the reviews come in and complain about the entire production being lackluster. With the stakes being so high on Mike Nichols’ 2012 revival of ‘The Death of a Salesman,’ how could anyone expect anything less than major disappointment?

Think again. The latest version of Arthur Miller’s classic tale was a massive hit, playing to strong reviews and sold-out crowds. The play was anchored by the brilliant leading performance of Philip Seymour Hoffman in the tragic role of Willy Loman and supported by Andrew Garfield as the underachieving son. In the crippling economy that has plagued the world in recent years, the play seemed to become even more relevant, and thanks to its cast and the team behind them, ‘Death of a Salesman’ picked up top honors at the Tony Awards this year.

7. ‘Skyfall’

Everyone was celebrating being 50-years-old in 2012. Many prominent acts debuted in 1962, from the Rolling Stones to Spider-man. None of those entities enjoyed quite the half-century celebration that James Bond did, though. In his latest outing, ‘Skyfall,’ the British-based agent reminded us why he is still the coolest character in cinema. Thanks to Sam Mendes’ direction and a dynamite villain performance by Javier Bardem, this newest installment may be Bond’s best moment yet.

It all goes back to the perfect mixture ‘Skyfall’ achieves. With the recent Daniel Craig entries, filmmakers have attempted to cash in on the action sequences and fast-paced thrills that worked for more modern heroes like Jason Bourne. This style, very present in ‘Quantum of Solace’ just didn’t fit the character. How great it was to see this film achieve that delicate balance, playing into the Bond traditions while developing a more modern touch. If ‘Skyfall’ gives us an idea of where James Bond is headed in the next 50 years, then by all means, bring on the shaken drinks and lovely women.

6. ‘The Walking Dead’ Franchise

No franchise has enjoyed quite the same type of year ‘The Walking Dead’ has in 2012. It’s rare for one media entity to gain such strong acclaim across multiple platforms in a one-year span, but somehow, some way, this franchise did it. Amazingly, the love began not with the hit TV series, but with a video game adapted from the same comic. ‘The Walking Dead’ point-and-click episodic titles enjoyed phenomenal reviews and sales, ultimately culminating in Game of the Year honors at the Spike TV Video Game Awards.

The TV side isn’t doing poorly, either. The AMC series had its third season debut to the largest ratings ever for a cable drama, with over 10 million viewers tuning in on the first night alone. The quality of the show continues to be strong, and those high standards are reflected in its ability to continue to gather new viewers. More episodes and games are set to release in 2013, but the bar has been set so high, it’s hard to imagine the franchise topping itself this time around.

5. The Ensemble of ‘Django Unchained’

When writing this list, I originally thought of including this spot with simply Leonardo DiCaprio for his villainous work on the set of Quentin Tarantino’s latest bloody western. Then, I thought about taking him out and including the always professional, well-spoken Christoph Waltz. And then, I thought about saying to hell with it and scratching both men’s’ names off in favor of the hysterical work of Samuel L. Jackson.

See where I’m going with this? It’s hard to pick one role that sticks out from crowd in ‘Django Unchained’ because they’re all so excellent. This is a cast where everyone is looking to out-stage one another, and the results are jaw-droppingly good. Tarantino’s latest is a Western epic that works because its cast sells the whole outlandish thing so well. This cast is so good, they’ll make you want to forgive yourself for seeing such a violent, blood-and-guts thriller when it hits theaters on Christmas Day.

4. Nexus 7

Was 2012 the year Apple finally began to lose its luster? Perhaps. The tech giant is still easily one of the most valuable companies in the world and has sold more than 100 million iPads worldwide. However, this year proved there were some chinks in their armor, especially in the area of tablet competition. Google’s 7-inch dream of a tablet, the Nexus 7, proved to not only be the best $200 device on the market, but one of the best tablets period.

No, it’s not as powerful as the latest iPad, but the android-based experience provides users with a beautiful HD display, a powerful processor and dozens of famous apps for a fraction of the cost. Nexus 7 proved to be so popular it sold out almost immediately and was difficult to find for months. Original estimates called for 3 million to be moved by year’s end, but now the company is thinking over 5 million could be sold. No wonder the disdained house behind Apple Maps is shipping out iPad Minis as quickly as possible; they know this tablet is a serious contender and easily the best new gadget of the year.

3. Joaquin Phoenix in ‘The Master’

Joaquin Phoenix, you weird man, you. You’ve spent years playing up this creepy, bearded persona no one liked and then you decide to reemerge in film with the finest performance you’ve ever given. Make no mistake about it: ‘The Master’s is Phoenix’s finest hour, playing as the confused protégé of Philip Seymour Hoffman. Director P.T. Anderson always seems to drive the best out of his actors, and such is certainly the cast here.

The role works so well because of the complexity Phoenix brings to it. Sometimes shy, sometimes delusion and sometimes just down-right disgusting, he shows up just like a raw nerve, constantly pulsing with strange energy. It remains to be seen if the role can find the attention it deserves with Oscar voters, who were more than likely turned off by his recent comments on the awards season. Still, we can only hold out hope Phoenix will find some gold for this role, because he deserves it.

2. ‘Life of Pi’

Do I think ‘Life of Pi’ is the best film of 2012? Probably not. There were other films I liked more and perhaps found more engaging. However, if you ask me what one film from this past year I would recommend to everyone to see, it would be this one. Simply put, ‘Life of Pi’ is a beauty. The visual effects are some of the finest I’ve ever seen and a credit to the CGI guys behind them who made the look feel so authentic.

Also genuine is the story, which director Ang Lee films with in a rather exotic way. He transports us into a world where spirituality is discovered, questioned and realized with such clarity. The art behind ‘Life of Pi’ is something to behold, as it full engages the senses and submerges you in the barren, breathtaking ocean world it presents. And the 3D? Well, let’s just say you can forget ‘Avatar’; this is its finest moment. From all angles of design and execution, ‘Life of Pi’ is the reason we love the movies.

1. ‘Locked Out of Heaven,’ Bruno Mars

Surprised? I’ll admit, as a cinephile, it’s difficult for me to give anything but a film the top spot. 2012 in particular was a great year for film, much more so than for music, gaming or theater. And yet, if I had to pick one flawless piece of media that kept me enthralled during its duration and never let me go, it would have to be the latest number one record from Bruno Mars. The singer had a landmark year, performing at basically every music show under the sun and enjoying a hit performance on Saturday Night Live. It was his latest single that really put a crown on the phenomenal year this pop king has had.

What makes ‘Locked Out of Heaven’ work is the perfect harmony it achieves. It’s rock-inspired, but not too aggressive. It’s pop, but it’s not dance-designed or lacking in substance. It’s soulful, but not overly powerful to the point of being excessive. It’s just a damn good record, hitting all the right notes and achieving that sing-in-the-shower-till-your-lungs-explode status the best ballads of all time enjoy.

No wonder the single, and the album that accompanied it, have enjoyed such strong reviews and sales. Pop music is a high school these days. There are plenty of popular kids, kids that you could be. You could dress outlandishly like Lady Gaga, form a hip group like Fun. or just be a complete slut like Ke$ha, but you can’t just wake up out of bed and be those things. Bruno Mars can because his persona is natural. He’s the coolest kid in the pop culture school. ‘Locked Out of Heaven’ simply secures his seat at the front of the class.

Movie Review: Django Unchained

Mon, 10 Dec 2012 13:12:17 -0500

I was recently blessed to acquire sneak preview passes to Quentin Tarantino’s new film Django Unchained and got to see it over 2 weeks before it arrives in theaters on Christmas Day. The following is my experience with Django Unchained.

We arrived to the theater an hour and a half early to ensure we would get in. Needless to say, I was hyped. I had super high expectations as a huge fan of Quentin Tarantino. The film started and, from the opening credits to the closing credits, my eyes were glued to the screen. And at 2 hours and 45 minutes long, that is quite the directorial accomplishment.

Here’s a brief synopsis of the plot (no spoilers) and aspects of the film that kept my eyes glued to the screen.

Django (Jamie Foxx) is a slave wandering through Texas after being recently acquired in a Mississippi slave auction where he was separated from his wife. While wandering through the woods, his group is approached by Dr. King Schultz (Christoph Waltz). Schultz is a bounty hunter and needs Django because he can identify a group of men Dr. Schultz is after. So he acquires Django and the two set off on an epic journey.

The plot doesn’t come anywhere close to following what you would likely expect to happen. However, in an age where films are often either far too predictable or have silly plot twists for the sake of plot twists, Tarantino guides us perfectly by telling his story in a way that we really don’t know what’s next and, at the same time, don’t feel like he’s jerking our leg. What we get instead of plot twists are twists on the conventional way of story telling we’re accustomed to in film.

As I mentioned before, the film is very long. But if you are going to go on a journey and be told an epic story, it should feel long. My thoughts on the length afterwards were very contradictory in that I felt like the nearly 3 hours flew by, and yet at the same time, when it was all over, I felt like the movie had started a long, long time ago because we had been through so much. I think the length will be an issue for some people, but not for most.

Then there are the performances, which would have been enough to make this movie great on their own had it not also had a phenomenal story and style. Christoph Waltz is one of my favorite current actors and Jamie Foxx, Leonardo DiCaprio and Samuel L. Jackson all do an outstanding job in their roles. Some may say that Samuel L. Jackson actually stole the show. (Craig Brewer did say this exact thing on Twitter.)

As for the style, I think this was definitely Tarantino’s most beautiful film he has shot. Tarantino managed to make a Western in the beautiful lens of Sergio Leone or John Ford while it still had a very Quentin Tarantino pace and direction. The music throughout the entire movie was phenomenal. I don’t want to spoil anything but I’ll just say there are even a few surprises on the ol’ soundtrack.

Ultimately I’d say that Django Unchained might have been the most fun I’ve ever had in the theater and I would say it might even have been the most enjoyable movie I’ve ever seen for my particular tastes. For those of you who don’t know me, those aren’t words I take lightly at all. It had some of the best genuine laughs of the year and a lot of Tarantino style action. That’s a hell of a combo.

For those of you that care, I think my top Tarantino movies at this point would be: 1. Pulp Fiction 2a. Django Unchained 2b. Inglourious Basterds 3. Reservoir Dogs 4. Kill Bill (1 & 2) 5. Jackie Brown 6. Death Proof.

In conclusion, Django Unchained is currently in consideration for my #1 film of the year. I told people I spoke to afterwards that it exceeded my already high expectations the same way The Dark Knight did. Which is another statement I don’t just throw around lightly. Is Django as good as The Dark Knight? Probably not. But as far as movies that exceeded my unfairly high expectations they belong together.

Total Score: I’d give it a 10/10.

Theater/Redbox/None: Theater.

My Final Electoral College Prediction

Mon, 5 Nov 2012 12:11:41 -0500

Well, here we are. Early voting has wrapped up. Absentee ballots are flying in from all over the world. And this time tomorrow, we’ll be wrapping up another 18+ months Presidential election cycle. It has been a whirlwind of debates, negative ads, and campaigns in constant reaction mode in the 24 hour news cycle driven more by the latest hashtag on Twitter than the latest policy briefing. I’ve wanted to write several blogposts over the last couple weeks. However, the chaos of real life and my increasing blood pressure about all things Election 2012 have kept me from sitting down to write out the blog posts I’d outlined in my mind: “My Case for Mitt Romney”; “Why President Obama’s Leadership Has Been Tried and Failed”; “A Look Inside Presidential Polling”; and myriad updates on speeches, campaign ads, and other things. Ultimately, I didn’t have the time or peace of mind to write any other blog posts. So today, on Election Day Eve, I simply bring you several closing thoughts and my final 2012 Electoral College predictions map.

If you’re reading this, still undecided, and want to know why Mitt Romney is the best choice to be President for the next four years, please e-mail me (joseph.williams.24@gmail.com). This post, however, shows what I predict will be his Electoral College path to the White House, and why I think that.

Why do I think that Mitt Romney will win Florida, North Carolina, Virginia, Ohio, Wisconsin, Colorado, and New Hampshire to win a comfortable victory? (Note: Under this prediction, Romney could lose any of these individual states other than Florida and still win the election. He could also lose a combination of the less populous states and still have a path to victory.) So how does Romney win?

- Coin Flip: Anyone that says they know which way Florida, North Carolina, Virginia, Ohio, and Colorado will go is lying to you. Pure and simple. Anyone that says they know which way the popular vote will turn out is lying to you. This election is too close to call. Fact.

That means each campaign’s ability to get out the vote will have a large deciding factor in this election. But the popular vote will be close. There’s a large chance that the swing states will reach a tipping point where the same factors pull them all in the same direction to give either candidate a decisive Electoral College victory. But anyone that says they definitely know which way those states will go is overvaluing one part of the polling data that emphasizes their bias and undervaluing the part of the data that doesn’t tell them what they want. The polls are so close and so inconsistent nationally and state-by-state that it is impossible to know. As Mike Barnicle says in the EXCELLENT Morning Joe discussion below about the final state of the race (must-watch for anyone curious about state of the race today), “That’s the ultimate magic and the ultimate mystery that is election day. People go and vote and we don’t know what’s going to happen.”

This discussion this morning with Morning Joe discusses the various polls and how this race is up in the air.

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

- Party Enthusiasm and Independent Voters: In the midst of polling roller coasters, there have been a couple consistent factors throughout swing-state and national polls. Mitt Romney has consistently polled better amongst independent voters and GOP enthusiasm has outweighed Democratic enthusiasm. As Dan McLaughlin lays out in detail here and as Josh Jordan has been tweeting for weeks, this means an Obama victory needs an electorate that looks a lot like the wave election of 2008 in which Democrats had significantly more voters and independent voter support than Republicans. After the mid-term elections of 2010 and Obama’s first term, it’s very unlikely there will be that voter demographic rolling into the voting booths on waves of hope and change. It’s just not probable. This doesn’t mean Obama still can’t win. But it means his get-out-the-vote, grassroots organization is as good as only his campaign people say it is.

- Other factors: Whether it’s the Redskins Rule or the historic unemployment level for an incumbent President, there are some intangibles in favor of Mitt Romney. There’s a lot of data that shows more undecideds break for the challenger than incumbent, so with 3 to 6% of voters undecided, that’s helpful. There’s the tried-and-tested Wisconsin GOTV grassroots networks that elected Scott Walker twice as a Romneyesque conservative in the last two years. (That’s why I think Wisconsin will go red.) I’ve talked to undecided, independent voters in multiple swing states and here in Tennessee. Most were leaning Romney, including several who typically vote Democrat. They figure things can be better than they’ve been in the last four years. Yes, 40 to 45% of America are die-hard Obama fans. Yes, another 3 to 6% sympathize with the President and think he’s done a good enough job given the challenges he’s faced. But for many, they feel that we should have seen better results. They’ve heard stories about President Obama’s unforced fumbles, like when he invited over a dozen CEOs to the White House to discuss economic recovery and jobs only to give them a speech from a teleprompter, take photos, and have no authentic discussion. Those business leaders were disappointed with the waste of time and lack of production. I think the American people may feel the same way.

Look, I’m admittedly biased. If I were given a million bucks to bet on the outcome on the election, I’d either flip a coin or hedge my bets (to ensure I’d be happy either way) and put the bet on Obama.

Anyone who says they know how this is going to turn out is lying to you. My prediction above is based on my reasoning above… and my gut instinct. But even that instinct is biased.

Get out the vote. Do your part. It’s still a historical miracle that we have a peaceful transition of power where the people have the final say. This is the rare exception in human history, and something to be celebrated regardless of outcome.

We live in the best country in the world. Do your civic duty. Be informed.

God Bless America!

I’ll leave you with Governor Mitt Romney’s closing argument.

NBA Predictions and Rankings: Eastern Conference

Thu, 1 Nov 2012 15:11:56 -0400

Today, a favorite of The Wise Guise joins us. Jeremy “Jameer” Wilson shares some thoughts on this NBA season. He’s going to start us off with the Eastern Conference and then later cover the Western Conference. Below are his predictions and rankings. Let us know if you agree, but as a Magic fan who ranked his team 14/15, we know these aren’t homer predictions.

NBA Predictions and Rankings Part 1:

Eastern Conference Playoff Teams

1. Miami Heat—Bad news for the rest of the league: the defending champions got better in the off-season. The Heat added Ray Allen, the NBA’s all-time leader in 3-pointers made, which will makes defending this team even harder. When defending Miami, you have to keep a guy glued on Ray Allen at all times, so then you have to play 4 on 4 against Lebron, Wade, Bosh, and (fill in the blank). This team will only struggle offensively when they decide to use Allen in the pick and roll. Come crunch time, you’ll find Allen in the corner where he belongs. The summer of 2012 was decent for Lebron: NBA title, regular season MVP, finals MVP, and a gold metal. The only thing keeping this team from back to back titles is an injury to Lebron and maybe Wade. This is Lebron’s league and his title to lose.

2. Boston Celtics—These guys are the only ones that could possibly contend with Miami in the Eastern Conference, and they also got better in the off-season. New faces in Boston: Jason Terry, Courtney Lee, Leandro Barbosa, Jeff Green (back from heart surgery), Darko Milicic, and rookies Jared Sullinger, Kris Joseph, and Fab Melo. Now here’s a list of players that played meaningful minutes in Boston last season: Keyon Dooling, Marquis Daniels, Greg Stiemsma, Mickael Pietrus, and Jermaine O’Neal. If you just said “who??” then you get my point. Rondo has to take over more of the scoring responsibility for this team to be successful, meaning no more 6 points, 13 assists nights for him. I really like the addition of Jason Terry, and I think he makes the Celtics better even without Ray Allen. The guard combo of Courtney Lee and Avery Bradley (when he comes back from injury) make this a very good defensive team. Don’t forget, Boston took Miami to game 7 last year in the conference finals.

3. Indiana Pacers—Welcome to the drop off from title contenders to solid playoff teams. I really liked this Indiana team last season, and with no big changes during the off-season, I somehow find myself being down on the Pacers now. What changed? They’ve lost their ability to sneak up on anyone. Teams know this Pacers team is good, and there’s real expectations this year. I just don’t fear anyone on this team. Hibbert is a good center in a bad center league, Granger is coming off of a so-so year, and Paul George needs to prove himself as a legitimate scorer. Indiana has a good team, but I think they are lacking an elite player to contend with Boston and Miami.

4. Atlanta Hawks— The Hawks are my sneaky good team in the East this year. Al Horford and Josh Smith are both better than anyone on the Pacers. Also, Josh Smith is in a contract year, and my sources tell me that people work harder at their job when they have a chance to make money, so expect to see a big year from him as long as he stops shooting terrible 17 footers. I like the additions of Lou Williams, Kyle Korver, and Devin Harris. This team isn’t grabbing any headlines, but I like them to sneak through the east to the 4 seed.

5. Brooklyn Nets— I have the Nets a game or two worse than the Hawks. The combination of Deron Williams, Joe Johnson, Kris Humphries-Kardashian, Gerald Wallace, Jay-Z, Beyonce, the new Barclays Arena, and all they new fans combine for 5-6 more wins than they should get. However, with great hype comes great responsibility. Teams will actually be excited to play the Nets now, so that may eliminate the 5-6 hype wins.

6. Chicago Bulls—I moved the Bulls from the 8 seed to the 6 seed in the last minute. I really dislike this Chicago team without Derrick Rose. The reason I bumped them up from the 8 seed is because of Adrian Peterson. Yes, AP, the running back for the Minnesota Vikings. Peterson returned to playing in the NFL only 8 months after tearing his ACL. Rose could be back as soon as early January, and he could be back as late as the All-Star break. I don’t even like this team with D-Rose. Their window of competing with the Heat in the playoffs has closed and will remain closed until they make some roster moves. And no, adding LP Nate Robinson doesn’t count as a roster move.

7. New York Knicks—The second best team in New York. I still don’t like the combination of Melo and Amare, but maybe a 39-year-old Jason Kidd can find a way to make it work. The Knicks will/should try to shop Amare and his bad knees/contract, and they will be better in the first 6-8 weeks of the season when Amare is out with an injury. Reading through the Knicks roster makes me want to keep them out of the playoffs, but I believe that Carmelo and Kidd will shoot them into the playoffs.

8. Toronto Raptors—Exciting? No. Is the 8 seed going to be a revolving door all year? Yes. Are you tired of me asking and answering my own questions? Yes? Ok, sorry. Teams that will participate in the revolving door act: Toronto, Philadelphia, and Milwaukee. Milwaukee finished 9^th in the East the past two seasons, and I like their chances of three-peating. The combo of Brandon Jennings and Monta Ellis gives them the ability to beat teams by 30, and also the ability to lose to teams by 30. Both guys can fill it up, but they do not compliment each other well, and this combo reminds me of Steph Curry and Monta at Golden State, which didn’t work out either. Philly was a playoff team last year, grabbing the 8^th seed and knocking out the Bulls after the Rose injury, then taking the Celtics to 7 games. They added a two-time NBA champion in Andrew Bynum, but lost Olympic team member Andre Iguodala. You can’t rely on an immature guy like Bynum to lead your team to the playoffs, or really anywhere in life. All in all, I’m just really down on this 76ers team. My argument for Toronto is 3/4^th’s saying “Look at the other teams,” and 1/4^th of me thinking this is a scrappy likable team. No one gets excited to travel to Canada to play basketball (offense, Canada), which oddly gives them a good home-court advantage, and they don’t have one super star to lean on which I also think oddly helps them by spreading the scoring around each night. They’re not good enough to win a playoff series, but I believe they’re good enough to steal the 8 seed.

On the outside looking in:

9. Milwaukee—reasons listed above

10. Philadelphia—reasons listed above, see also Andrew Bynums new “you didn’t think I could get any weirder?/please drug test me” hair.

11. Detroit—There may be college teams that are older than the Pistons. Probably a playoff team in two years.

12. Cleveland—Kyrie Irving should play his way into a top 20-25 player in the league ranking. But sorry Dan Gilbert, he’s not replacing Lebron.

13. Washington Wizards—John Wall and Nene are both banged up with injuries that require rest. Rest means playing video games. Hopefully RG3 and Strasburg can keep Washington fans from thinking about the Wizards.

14. My Orlando Magic—The Magic are not in a rebuilding year, they are a few steps behind that. I like Aaron Afflalo, and he can be a nice piece to have in the future. Hopefully we, yes we, are planning on going into total tank mode to set ourselves up to win the lottery and draft someone from John Calipari’s starting 5 at Kentucky. As far as this year goes, I’m really looking forward to watching Glen Davis, wait, uh, Gustavo Ayon, no, Jameer Nelson, no, uh… oh I got it! I’m looking forward to pulling against Dwight Howard and the Lakers for the next 82+ games. There’s something to occupy the time of Magic fans this season.

15. Charlotte Bobcats—A year removed from having the worst winning percentage in league history, and were saved from other NBA record-breaking stats due to the shortened lockout season. 2^nd overall draft pick Michael Kidd-Gilchrist is not a guy that can turn this franchise around without help— help that they don’t have. Another year in the lottery for Charlotte.

Conference Finals:

Heat over the Celtics in 6 games including… 7 fights, 13 technical fouls, and 2 ejections.

Happy NBA Season to all!

Wise Guise Roundtable: Halloween Style

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 14:10:40 -0400

Welcome the first ever holiday roundtable from The Wise Guise. Everyone that has done a guest post for us this year was invited to chime in and share their thoughts on Halloween, costumes, candy etc. What follows is the result of a group of absurd people getting together to discuss an absurd holiday. Enjoy!

Colin Stovall: Can we do a post where we discuss our “Do’s and Don’t's” for Halloween Costume ideas?

Joseph Williams: I’m down. I was toying with the simple idea of most absurd Halloween costumes, eg sexy big bird and sexy Pinocchio.

Colin Stovall: I really judge people based on their costumes or lack thereof. Being topical/trendy is always a plus in my book if you do it correctly (Bobby Petrino, Butt Chuggers, etc.) But sometimes it can go too far or not be as funny as they thought (Treyvon Martin, Binders of Women, Joe Paterno). So there is always a fine line with pop culture references, though the risk can sometimes be very beneficial. As for people who complain about not having enough time to come up with an outfit I call bullshit. Thinking of an idea really isn’t hard and for the most part it just takes effort. For the record, I still want Clayton to be the American Dream Dusty Rhodes for Halloween just one time. I also like group-coordinated costumes. The “sexy” or “scary” version of a character is lame in my opinion. Save those ideas for other facets of life. But overall, I enjoy seeing a well put together costume and respect those efforts to be creative. Thrift stores often provide a plethora of ideas at a discounted price.

I also would like to bring this to the table, adult trick or treating. Can we not have some version of 21+ trick or treating? What would this look like and how would it work out logistically? I would love your input fellow WiseGuisers. That is all.

Clayton Martin: I usually half-ass some last second costume so I don’t have much input really. The last time I put in effort and dressed up I tried to do Don Draper, but everyone thought I was in the mob. No love for the marketing mob. I think I really just wanted a good excuse to carry around a fifth of scotch to sip on.

Clayton Martin: I want this included. Baby Mangino is awesome.

Colin Stovall: Clayton, make this happen!

Joseph Williams: My original idea for the blog post of most ridiculous “sexy” costumes came from this EW.com slideshow, and the amazing final costume on the slideshow:

Joseph Williams: Also, Palmer and I went to Titans/Colts game yesterday. The cheerleaders dressed up in the skankiest Halloween costumes possible. Which made me think of this Halloween costume idea for women…

A woman dressed as a Titans cheerleader (already quite revealing, Halloween-ready outfits) dressed in a ridiculously revealing Halloween costume.

Very meta, especially for outfits like “Slutty Pinocchio,” who was a puppet and a real boy, but never a girl, and (to my knowledge) never a skank.

So meta.

Clayton Martin: I’d like to call into question the questioning of skanks. Because, you know, bless their hearts.

Mary Beth Wilson: The number of ‘Honey Boo Boo’s’ I’ve seen so far is unsettling.

Joseph Williams: This is awesome.

David Ethier: Best two costumes of the year:

Patrick Russell: I didn’t want to resort to my usual costume –putting the numbers 1-10 on my shirt and going as “A man you can count on.” Get it? ‘Cause you can count ON me! I therefore decided to go as “Smarty Pants,” with Smarties attached to my pants. See what I did there? ‘Cause the Smarties were on my pants…and ’cause I’m smart…Smart…Smarties….Smarty Pants. IT WAS AWESOME! Well, it would have been. But the local grocers in my fair Texan town do not seem to stock Smarties. Anywhere. It’s like Prohibition never ended.

So, once again foiled by the oppressive patriarchy, I resorted to dressing as every man’s idol and every woman’s fantasy: myself. Get it? Get it? I just dressed normally! It’s cause…you know…I’m…I’m…yeah, the people at the party didn’t laugh either.

My favorites so far have been “Linus and his Blanket” and “Syndrome.”

Warner Russell: Carry a box of Cheerios with a knife through it.

Cereal killer.

Seth Wiedemann:

Any of these wacky characters should do the trick

Claire Gibson: I finally had an opportunity to read through all these great ideas… and just in time. Because today’s the day.

Honestly, I hate costumes. In my holiday rankings, Halloween ranks dead last. Yes, my parents were the crazy Christian type that felt the this day ‘is of the devil!‘ but that really hasn’t been what started my aversion. In all reality – the idea of dressing up as someone or something else stirs up all kinds of insecurity. Is my costume good/funny/sexy/scary/unique enough? And if not… why do I care?

In fact, last year – Patrick and I tried to go to Walgreens at the last minute and put together a costume. We bought balloons, tape, streamers, and coned hats- and were planning on going as a birthday party (really lame, I know). On the way there… I was blowing up balloons one after another. We pulled up to the house in a car full of balloons filled with my hot breath – and Patrick turned to me and admitted that he didn’t even want to go. We popped all the balloons with our bums, and went to Rosepepper instead. So take that Halloween.

Brett Good:

John Nesbitt: Now that’s amazing

How about Frankenstorm:

Frankenstein head with a hurricanes (NHL or Miami)jersey

Too soon?

John Nesbitt: Anyone see a lance with a nurse and a needle? That was my favorite

And a girl in a gray sweatshirt with a fin,

Taped to her torso was

“Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday”

Shark week… I love it

Warner Russell: I appreciate someone at a party who dresses up as Waldo and then attempts to get in the background of as many pictures as possible.

Colin Stovall: Boo Bees always makes me giggle.

Palmer Williams: As the “He Said, She Said” contributor I thought I would contribute
some clever couples costumes:

-Pumpkin Pie- one dressed up as a pumpkin, the other wearing a shirt saying 3.14

-Ron Burgandy and Veronica Corningston

- Carl and Russell from Up

Clayton Martin: We can’t forget to include the Werewolf Bar Mitzvah!

Colin Stovall: I’m handing out candy tonight at my house, and I’m changing the game up. I’m giving ALL my candy to the first Trick or Treater at my door. Boom! Game changer.

Clayton Martin: You can’t do that in Memphis. If someone sees you do that the little kid will get mugged and you know it!

Joseph Williams: Just heard on sports talk radio. Might be best idea I’ve heard yet.

Fifty shades of gray. Wear different shades of gray ties, shirt, and pants. Women can wear a necklace with every gray ish paint sample you can find at Home Depot

Jay Salato: True or false? I bought a bag of uncooked potatoes last night to use as “candy.” It’s true. All TorTers will think they received king sized candy…only to find potatoes. Ouch.

Colin Stovall: I’m trying that one tonight! As my homie TI once eloquently crooned, “It ain’t trickin if you got it…”