Spiritual Gardening

Mon, 20 Sep 2010 22:09:26 -0400

Time spent in the garden is like time spent in your own private church. I think when God said that "when two meet together in His name, He is there," I think He meant two living things. I was planting my favorite flower Lantana. I believe flowers are promises of what heaven will be like when we get there someday. They are little reminders of what beauty awaits us when we return Home.

I've never been very good at starting things. Over the years I have seemed to have lots of ideas but I have never seemed to be able to get them to germinate. It's interesting how God brings us to our spiritual growth, often times in ways that we could never imagine. With me, He may plant a seed, but most often because he knows that I am not very good at germinating things he seems to know that I have to start out with a plant. It's not that I don't feel the hope that's necessary to start out from seed.It's just that I guess I have to see something with my physical eyes first before I can see it with my spiritual eyes. What a contradiction to what Faith is supp osed to be.I used to think that faith in relation to God meant believing in something that you couldn't see with your physical eyes. This created a problem for me because it was too much like a seed. I knew it was there but I just wasn't sure if I was ever going to see it. Sometimes you even give up hope only to be surprised when it bursts from the dark soil with promise of what is to come.

I can't honestly say that I have ever lost hope. I must admit that there were times when I said that I did out of anger because things weren't happening on my time table. Seeds are like that, they are on His time table. Anyway, I was planting my Lantana, starting to feel a little bit frustrated because the flower bed that had been prepared too long before I had started to plant had been quick to grow a whole lot of weeds. I was pulling weeds. The ones in the middle of the bed that grew without resistance were easy to pull out. These weeds are the kind that actually make weeding pleasant because it's not so much work when you are pulling these as it is mindless focus, a kind of meditation. The kind that leaves you open to be impressed with thoughts, knowledge, spiritual food that normally can't get through the constant mental chatter that goes on and on inside your head. Often times without us even realizing that it is there.

They say that " prayer is talking to God and meditation is listening to Him". When I am gardening, I am listening to Him. It's interesting because I find that I may not "hear" him until later. But when it is happening I am definately being taught, nurtured, fed spiritual food that will be turned over in my mind amidst the mental chatter over and over, consciously, unconsciously and subconsciously until it becomes something beautiful and life sustaining .

Anyway, I was weeding and the weeds that were giving me the most trouble were the ones that were all twisted and turned from having to force their way around the logs that I had chosen to edge my bed with. They were strong, so strong that I had to enlist the help of my hand spade in order to get to their roots to pull them. Just like the weeds or anything that grows, without adversity you won't grow strong. I never thought I would be grateful for the weeds in my flower bed. Just like I never thought that I would be grateful for the adversity that always forces its way into my life just when I think that things are going my way and I can rest on my laurels. (forgive me for that:)) Some people say that we can choose a road of adversity, (you can take the hard road.), and some people say that you can take an easy path in life. But the really big questions for me are: Why do some people take the hard road while other people take the easy road, and is it really our choice and when do, or did we decide which path we were going to take, the easy one or the hard one, and did we decide before we came here or after we got here and can we change our mind somewhere along the way? And do we choose the easy road or the hard road based on what we think that we deserve? A hard life or an easy life? And when we come to realize that we deserve to have an easy life because we are perfect just the way we are and that we are loved just the way we are and we are forgiven for everything we have done, or haven't done, or might do, only then do we realize that we wouldn't trade our hard road for an easy one or any amount of adversity for the growth and peace our journey has brought us thus far.

Sex Offenders Are People Too

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 14:03:22 -0400

As an Experiential Therapist who worked with sex offenders for many years, it was refreshing to read the responses to, "I Molested My Daughter" and realize that some progress is being made in educating the public about sex offenders and sex offending behaviors.

I have never met a sex offender who wasn't also a victim of sexual abuse . However; I understand that they do exist, I have just never met one. Sex offending is a horrific crime that is far reaching in that it hurts many people and not just the victim. Not to minimize what the victim goes through because to be sexually abused is an assault on a person not only physically and emotionally, but also spiritually and causes wounds from which many people are never able to recover . When a person is sexually abused it affects every aspect of his or her life from that moment on, their future relationships, (many are not ever able to have a healthy relationship), and the ability to be a productive employee to name just a few. The damage done manifests itself in many ways such as destroying a person's ability to trust and an inability to set boundaries which are both very necessary life skills. A person's sense of self worth can be destroyed and may never be recovered. I think that most people have a very clear understanding of what damage can be done. Unfortunately; rarely do people make any effort to learn more about the perpetrator who, as I have already stated is many times also a victim. Before everyone starts jumping on the bandwagon that just because something happened to you doesn't mean it is acceptable for you to do it to someone else, I would like to address an issue that is very prevalent when it comes to sex offenders especially adolescent sex offenders.

I worked with offenders who were eleven to seventeen years of age. They were little girls as well as little boys. An issue that I was totally unaware of prior to working with this population is the prevalence of false allegations. It was a normal occurrence, almost an expectation that these children would accuse anyone and everyone they could of doing to them what they had done to others. Staff people who worked with these children were forbidden from EVER being alone with a child for even a moment. They made allegations against staff even when another staff person was there to refute the allegations. My point being, there are many children perpetrators who are out in the community quite possibly making false allegations against anyone they choose as their victim with total disregard for how their actions will absolutely destroy the person's life and future. Many people who have been accused are innocent and should be treated that way until proven otherwise. What about the eighteen year old high school senior who is engaging in consensual sex with his fifteen year old girlfriend? If her parents were to find out and be angry enough this young man's life could be totally destroyed. He could be prosecuted as a sex offender and be made to register on the sex offender registry which would scar his reputation for the rest of his life. This scenario actually happens, especially in the Southern U. S.

There are a lot of therapeutic techniques that can be used to help these children to heal from their wounds and hopefully; prevent them from re-offending in the future. I personally have seen children who were in treatment programs for victims and offenders change for the better in many ways. They can be helped with the ultimate goal of preventing them from passing on offending behaviors to other children thus perpetuating the perpetration. Judging the offenders and wanting to "throw them away" doesn't do anyone any good except maybe for making some victims with unresolved anger issues relating to their own victimization, feel better.

Divinspire's Open Salon Blog

Spiritual Gardening

Sex Offenders Are People Too