Alys's Open Salon Blog

Embracing the Great White Calves

Sat, 29 Sep 2012 10:09:32 -0400

Tonight we celebrate! I’ll brush on a little mascara and I’ll take extra time with my hair. Then I’ll slip on my sea foam green dress and a pair of sandals before heading out the door with my loving husband and my loathsome great, white calves.

In my youth, I assumed I had nice legs. Or, just legs. They attached to my hips and moved me from place to place. Slowly, and disappointingly, I learned otherwise.

“Why are your calves so big?”

“If you exercise more you can reduce them?”

“I wondered what was so different about your legs. Your thighs and calves are the same size!”

“If you don’t wear black, your legs won’t look so…white.”

“I notice you and your sister both have big calves.”

Oh.

So began a lifetime of attempting to hide my legs. Well-fitting jeans, with boot-cut legs worked wonders. Black leggings had a slimming effect. Dresses kept at the knee were more flattering than a dress that cut a line across my ample lower limbs. Boots would seem like a good option, but I once left a store empty-handed after trying on every pair available in my size.

I stopped buying shorts, and for a few summers, employed the fake-tan-in-a-bottle maneuver. Browner legs are less reflective. When I bravely put on a bathing suit and waded into the silky water at my friend Bob’s lakefront home, all I could think of was how quickly I could cover my legs. I cut my foot on a rock getting in but I trudged on. Hiding those disgraceful legs took precedence.

Year ago, I was hanging out with my friend, Gary, at an apartment hot tub. We were later joined by one of his neighbors, a man from another culture. When I emerged from the hot tub, this stranger launched into a monologue about my legs. It was creepy and weird and amusing all at the same time. Initially I assumed he was making fun of me. I had history, you see. He wasn’t. He went on to say that most women he met had skinny legs and how beautiful mine were. Clearly this man hadn’t sipped the California Kool-Aid. Having a stranger call attention to a personal trait I had learned to despise was uncomfortable. Where the hell was my towel?

My friends Debbie and Alicia have beautiful legs. They’re attached to women I like and admire, which helps soften my envy when I see them sporting skirts and shorts without a care. I long for that carefree ability to throw on my clothes with a devil-may-care attitude.

At some point we all need to come to terms with our bodies, or we’ll spend a lifetime being unhappy. Sadly, women are surrounded by messages to the contrary. Articles abound, telling women how to dress to “minimize figure flaws.” Are your hips too wide? Try this. Are your breasts too small? Add texture. Are your legs too big? You’re screwed!

Tonight I’m celebrating my anniversary wearing a slip of a dress and the legs nature gave me, white and unadorned. Did I mention my husband is a leg man? Love really is blind.

Random Gifts and Neighborhood Rifts

Sat, 5 May 2012 09:05:00 -0400

For all the time I spend in the garden, complete surprises are rare. With my nose down close to the dirt, or my camera directed at flowers and trees, it feels as comfortable and familiar as a good marriage.

That said, my husband still surprises me with flowers “just because” and this week my garden did the same. After an hour of planting and the requisite cleanup, I turned to go inside and spotted something flowering behind our fruit tree. I climbed over the rock wall and shrubs, rounded the tree, and there it was! The flowering bulb has roots under the fence line, so perhaps the bulb divided from the neighbor’s side.

It would be nice to think of the flower as a gift, or more appropriately a peace-offering, for in this community of otherwise incredible neighbors, this unhappy soul stands out. He once trapped my cat and dropped him off at the Humane Society without a word. He calls the authorities when someone’s dog barks. He asked us to lie when our shared fence fell down and had to be replaced. We declined.

Perhaps this random gift is not the flower, but the opportunity to let go of the angst I feel when I pass his house. All these years later the anger and hurt are gone, but the angst lingers on.

Weeds: Green Isn't Always a Good Thing

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 01:04:24 -0400

If you garden, you weed. The end.

Seriously, every garden has weeds; it’s only a matter of degrees. I’m an expert weeder myself, probably because pulling weeds falls into the category of garden organization. I pull weeds and restore order. It’s therapeutic clearing out the interlopers, those pervasive plants that sneak into the garden beds when you aren’t looking. They pretend to be the real deal as they vie for water and nutrients, using clever camouflage and stealth tactics to avoid detection. I know the regulars around town: oxalis, dandelions and spotted surge. Now and again I spot something new and unfamiliar. I pause overhead, garden fork in hand, wondering if I should give the newcomer a chance. I once let a glossy green plant grow in our side yard, only to learn from my friend Doug that it was invasive. It’s still popping up! I’ve also yanked out plants, only to realize it was an annual re-seeding from the previous year. I was amused to discover this week that the plant I left growing next to the Chinese Pistache is a volunteer broccoli plant. How fun that was!

When you garden you have an intimate knowledge of weeds and their habits; where they’ll grow and when. If you don’t pull them out by the roots early, they’ll flower and drop seeds. Once they go to seed you’ve extended an open-ended invitation to return year after year.

To Weed, or Not to Weed?

I made my rounds today, fork in hand, with a strong wind kicking up pollen. We have rain in the forecast, so I figured I would get this first round done before the rain helps plant a new batch.

Do you have a garden “chore” that you secretly love?

Such Promise in a Packet of Seeds

Fri, 13 Apr 2012 14:04:42 -0400

Organic Sunflower Seeds from Botanical Interests®

Just imagine: for $1.99 (plus tax) you can hold a handful of summer potential in a slim packet of seeds. I’ve been dropping seeds into the earth since I was five, forever optimistic that what I planted would grow. And grow they did! Given the right amount of water and sun that slip of a seed knows to break through the earth, set roots below and then do what it does best: grow up and out as it morphs into leaves, branches, flowers and fruit. When the cycle is complete, that clever plant turns to seed so the process can begin anew.

Nothing epitomizes this cheerful process like sunflowers. Helianthus annuus are easy to grow and spectacular in size. A regular show-stopper along the garden path, they follow the sun throughout the day, then reset at night. Glorious flowers and abundant seeds attract wildlife as they reach skyward.

Once these cold spring days are behind us, I’ll tear open that packet and gently tuck each seed beneath the soil. All that promise in a packet of seeds.

Here’s what we’ll plant this year (descriptions from the seed packets):

Sunflower ‘Mammoth Russian‘ from Botanical Interests®

“Heirloom Towering in the garden, the tall plants produce a single, magnificent flower reaching 1 foot across. Ripe seeds attract birds and wildlife. Annual full sun, blooms summer to fall 6′ – 10′ fall”

Sunflower ‘Evening Sun‘ from Botanical Interests®

“Heirloom Fiery shades of vivid gold, autumn orange, warm mahogany and blazing bronze! A dazzling cut flower and enticing treat for birds. Annual full sun. Blooms summer to fall, 6′ – 8′ tall”

One of last year’s sunflowers: From Seed to Tower in an Hour

The default direction of the sunflower head is to point east towards sunrise: Helianthus: Flowers of the sun

Organized at Heart Moved to Wordpress

Wed, 4 Apr 2012 17:04:00 -0400

I've relocated my blog to WordPress. Won't you please come follow me there?