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APRIL 29, 2012 2:31PM

Pirate Wimmin Etiquette Sexinar and Spammer Roast Party!

Rate: 29 Flag


 This is officially a Pirate Wimmin Party, folks. It will go on all week.  

That means who cares when you got here?

 Poor Woman is the official DJ! She has the jams what am, so pop over there, too! 



The first Pirate Wimmin insurrection took up two weeks of Open Saloon's time...let's bring back the spirit and tone of the greatest force in social write-working!

Dedicated to the great General JK Brady, of course. 

Just pop in whenever you feel like it....

 Sail the high (but classy) seas of Pirate Wimmin deliciously polite and sexy partying! 





Uploaded from the Photobucket Android App


neutron drinks!

The party is on until it is off, folks, so join in. Grab a haunch of meat and pinch from each other's plates. We have food galore and mens so naked that they are weeping. 



Virtual Partying


Make sure that the invitations go out early, to allow maximum attendance.

Do not wait until the last minute on Sunday, 29 April, 2012 to announce that the...




Pirate Wimmin and Men’s party

starts right here at this post  at

4 p.m. PST today! Bring Rum,


and meat!


Do make sure to put out plenty of virtual cushions, hand sanitizer, and first aid kits.

Make sure that the food is plentiful and that the drink is not toxic.

Toilet wine is not acceptable libation for a Pirate Wimmin party.

Make sure that meat is cut into fist sized portions.



The Wild, wild web (WWW) offers many opportunities to socialize, mix it up and show it off. The rules of social etiquette insure a smooth, functional place for getting it on with style and glam.

 As always....


Dont Hog It All!!!! 


Bring Cake, bling, high fashion

clothing, Jimmy Choo shoes, and

lobster! We will roast a spammer

today! Spammer for all!

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Type your comment below:
Zuma ~ Pirate Wimmin! Etiquette! I think Amy Vanderbilt would heartily approve of this post! 4 PM PST...I'm in!

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Bwahahahahaha! I was reaching for the "manage comment" buttons, but there was something hinky about the spam...tooo funny!
I am allergic to lobster but I'm high on cake. Virtual chocolate and creamy frosting. Yummmmmmmy. See you there.
So what was in that drink in the first photo. Etiquette should include cool drink secrets.
What if your wife won't let you go? She has no etiquette she always says no before I ask anything. Otherwise I would sneak off sounds like a bling moment...........la de da..........o/e
Etiquette, schmetiquette... in the words of Tink, "fffftttttt! Wanders off into the thorn bushes!"

Wait, did you say Pirate Wimmin?? Are they gonna get naked and dance and howl at the moon??? I got a rib roast in the fridge!
PACIFIC TIME. Okay, I get it now.
OK! Just got back from the markets with avacado and the nachos are in the toaster ovens.

And I asked what's in the drink and was told "Nacho"!

I said "What's Nacho?

The guy said "Nacho business!" ha ha ha!
Zuma, I just took a reading with a sextant and it indicates the time is 4:12 PST! Time for the festivities to start!
Back to work here. Hope it's a good party Z!!
Ahoy!!!Maties! Zanelle, Pirate Woman Extraordinaire!!! Here and reporting for the opening ceremonies. I have Rum. Pot and lots of stories too. I want to give a shout out to my old boyfriend Peter who died last May. A bank robber felon and one of the loves of my life. He is a Pirate in the afterlife and probably peeking in on this party. Arghh!
The festivities is started! For a warm up, here's some talent that I booked. They will cure ye wedgies and get ye juices flowing! (Just don't try that last move!)

Zanelle: he would be most welcome here, a true pirate!

Hy and designator: It was time! We need some hijinks around this place.
OE, Phyllis, JMac: Take ye deck shoes off and dance with the crew! They have smoking drinks for you!
Zuma, I've got hijinks well underway! As I write this comment, the Pirate Wimmins' ship is surrounded by Navy SEALS! Resistance is futile...best to invite them aboard for drinks and more!
Oooh, SEALS! They roast up real nice....ohhh...you mean the Navy SEALS....hmmmm....we have other plans for them. Wow, big fellas too. But if they think that they can overwhelm our hardy band of sturdy wimmins, they have made a giant wrong turn!
Hmmmmm Navy boys....I could eat them for lunch. Just spit out a tough old Army guy. Give me a peace loving band of musicians and I might let them stay. Grog for all!!
Yeah! Grog, gentle trade winds and those crispy little appetizers!!! Bring on the dancing boyos!

Zuma, be on the the lookout for a certain former president approaching your ship in a tattered Jacques Cousteau Zodiac craft sporting a "Mission Accomplished" banner! Advice: give him a can of warm beer and send him on his way.
He be gettin spit in that beer! Unless he be Clinton...ha ha!
Oh. My. God.
OMG!! You totally had me - I was ready to reply with a snarky comment, like So, you stopped Foodie, Zuma?. And there's a party going on? That is so totally KOOL !!!!
Ahoy! Ahoy!
Zuma, please give him three spits in his beer and he'll be bragging about how he hit the trifecta!
Ha We need more r's to get on the front page feed. Maybe change our title to Pirate Women Sex Secrets......Tipsy here and looking for a tasty treat. I liked that roast that Jmac was talking about. Fist size pieces of meat on the fire. Dancing around the flames.
Fusun: Yes! we party hearty and on short notice. I'm hopping around and keep forgetting to refresh the page. Have a fruit kabob!they're spicy!

Designator: Hmmm...this former president turns three spits into a trifecta...then he's definitely a Republican! Throw him off the side, he's of no use!

Zanelle: Hmmm "Pirate wimmen share tips for sexy sex and risque manners!" ha ha!
I changed the title from boring to wild 'n sleazy!
to any pirate wimmin still left after the Flood:
after it all came out: "sharing tips for sexy sex and risque manners!" ha ha!

well that was like when Pandora opened her, i
shall not say "box",
but her cabinet...

olbermann? i never liked him. the cut of his Gib. snarky.
like, "here is the news, you dumb cretins,
savor it with my sarcasm' arg.

'the rules of social etiquette insure a smooth, functional place for getting it on with style and glam."

damn right. nothing more intriguingly sensual/sexual etc
than etiquette done right.
so few can pull it off, glad to see u can.

I no longer eat lobster.
Lobster salad, sure, but not lobster where i gotta eviscerate
the poor tortured beast.

knees high. hopefully dancing to some tune.?
It's a James Emmerling! Nothing is more delicious than to control the slovenly urges and, at the same time, to eat our fistfuls of meat with our bare hands!

I'm with you on the lobster and cannot stand the idea of boiling them alive. There is no excuse for doing that to a living thing!
...well, spammers, maybe...in a giant virtual pot!
Zuma, very nice title revision! We need Skype or live video of some type to pull in additional attendees who live by the phrase "show me!"
Is it okay to eat off my date's plate if he's too wasted to notice I ain't touching what's on my own plate, pass me one of those smokin drinks, thenkyewverrymuch.
Oh lord, then we'd be seeing a heap of ye old mizzen masts and virtual goodies! Tastefully, though, I am sure.
Diannaii: Here's a smoker-rita and another giant sea-kabob for you to pilfer from the hubby's plate. (pilfered food just tastes better, and waste not, want not! ha ha).

Oooh...someone came here looking for Designator...he's got a big crate of something....run that through the metal detector, please!
Was this a spur of the moment idea? I find it strange that I'd find my way here this way. Thanks, Zuma, the fruit kebab is delish. :o)

Drinks, water, any one? I do the refills for another hour.
Fusun, a plaintive request for some wildjinks came last week and this is my first free day to do it! It is truly an impromptu bit of madness!

Thanks for womaning the bar. I'll have a smokin' Baileys and a dash of peppermint schnapps. I call those Mint Baileys.
I've maybe missed other fun before. I'm here now, tho' And I brought 3 suitcases full of cheesecake, cheese doodles, and, for those of us with gluten intolerance/sensitivity, a whole slew of gluten free snacks (corn chips and salsa, and the like)
Is the party already over?
Did I miss everything again?
Smokin' drinks for all!
Bwah ha! Welcome, dear and the party is going on until it goes off! Your delicious treats will be added to the groaning sideboard! Fusun is doing the drinks so enjoy!
Kahlua and Baileys....Exotic drink of my memory. Drinks go in phases. Im in my prune juice and vodka phase. Bring out those old guys in the brig. I want to play with them.
You want a naked one or one wearing a beaded mankini!
Fusie: I'll take care of any car and/or speedboat keys for those enjoying your alcoholic concoctions, if you like!
Any sign of Kim and his cronies?
They can be wicked, traitorous man-pirates!
Damn! I missed the party again. R
btw, if someone engages in a virtual one night stand, does he have to send a thank you text the next morning? I'm asking for a friend of course.
Oh we has eyes out for them. I am wanting to see what was in the crate that showed up....it smells delicious. hmmm.
Smells like Cool Water aftershave, if I'm not mistaken........hmmmmmm

I can't believe, our dear friend, PW is here! It's her BIRTHDAY, every one. Sing HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Poor Woman ♫ ♪
i just bought rum yesterday for the first time in decades, z! had a real true seaman at a pot luck, and rum is his drink of choice, which made me laugh a little bit!

hope i am still a pirate wimmin, in spite of my latest blog. because i brought coconut cake AND rum, AND a cute swabbie!
Oooh...well Trudge, if the one night stand was in Cartegena, then you do not need to text...you just need to pay your bill! Otherwise, leave it alone...why leave evidence?

Myriad, I missed you! Welcome! Here's a giant pile of berries and cream....
Thank you, Paspartou! You are sweet!
*makes a mad dive with into aforementioned berries and cream with large serving spoon, dollops into own bowl, smiling broadly*
Zuma, O Grand Poobahness, I know you had no idea it was this poor woman's bday, but nevermind--i'm perfectly content with this Pirate Wimmin Party's timing.
:) :) :)
PW - very long time no see! jane smithie here, in my new clothes (or lack thereof).

happy birthday, and i hope you like coconut cake!
I LOVES me some coconut cake, love! Thank you!!!!!
Just no candles, okay? Don't want to burn down the mainmast with full sail!
Happy day, Poor Woman. I added it to the top of this post and gave ye a phat promotion! Yarrrr!

Daisy Jane: I wish the oldies but goodies would stop by, but this was short notice.

Here, everyone...it's the 8 foot cake! Wheel it in, boyos! Oh my, who's going to pop out? Does anyone have an idea?
with a yo-h-ho and a bottle of rum, it does me old heart good to see ye, lassie!

yes, no candles anymore for me, either, unless its just two number candles of my age (which is newly stuck at "advanced 39").
Make it Bruce Greenwood or Paul Gross and this bday will really rock! Yeah! heheheh
Jane, they say 60 is the new 40--which means we aren't yet middle aged after all! LOL
zuma - me too! and now, unfortunately, *I* have to to go bed. maybe we will reconvene in the morning, after passing out on the deck?

and it sure was nice to see PW!
Reallly, jane! This party should go on for more days. I'll put it at the top of the post so people won't think that it's over tonight.

Remember when we took over the first time, under the leadership of the Great General JK Brady? That was histoy in the making...The Palin boys and Capt Parrotdead didn't know what hit 'em....It took up an entire two weeks of Open Saloon!

Well...just an old Pirate talking about the old days...Bring on some more rum and booze!
I see some new faces, welcome all. I caught PW and brought her over from her blog. Final call. . . Any fill ups, top ups? Another slice of cake? Anyone? Anyone? :o)
Zuma: we may get to prolong this party thru the nite into tomorrow afternoon, it's so slow to get rolling.
Your verdict, your Grand Poobahness?
@Fusie: Make mine a white wine spritzer, if you would! Or, barring that, a XX 'n' lime.
AHOY!!!!! I've spotted the Gamble man!!!!!! He's just rated a post--jane's latest. Shall we bombard him with PM's and target his unpolished boots????
I just put it up at the top of the post: We are going to recreate the two week long Pirate Wimmin insurrection that started it all!

This will commemorate the congrunce of Pirate Wimmin rule that has remained unbroken since then....Bring the party on and let it flourish wildly and for a time!

lobster -- and asparagus!
Old New Lefty Just how old did you say you are? And can you dance the samba?

Maestro! Music, please!
Lefty! I have you figured for a clog dancin' spectacular. Yes, we now have 40 dishes crowding the buffet because we hijacked Gordon Ramsey and the cast of "Top Chef". We ordered them to work it with the L & A...they went to town! We will let them off in Stockton before we sail the delta and head out to the open Pacific. Yarrrr!
I thought you said bora bora standard time, thats whyi am so late
I thought you said bora bora standard time, thats whyi am so late
Amy! Welcome. There is no late at this party. It's going to go on for days. We be jammin,even if everyone is passed out or in detention...
Well, all. Great party so far. There will be more, so stop in when you can! I'm calling it quits so I can get some ice packs on the rheumatoidness. I will be checking in in the AM!

Hoist yer barnacles & spread yer sheets ~ YER BOARDED, yer bitches !!
'Prare to DIE !!

OO I been 'waitin' fer this :-)=
Oh really, Capt. Kim???

I'd suggest you tuck your fo'c's'le between your legs and swashbuckle your ass outta here before I break out my Lorena Bobbet Memorial Cutlass and shiver your timbers, mate(ey)!

BTW Zuma, please excuse my "kinky sex acts" avatar. I just washed my other one and it's not dry yet.
oh, yeah, reading to do here, ok, right
throws a chip off of Kim's forehead
sorry, that one had guach on it
*wipes the gold from Amy's paint off her lips*
So do I call you Hawt Lady Lib Wommin, now Jules???
Hey, if Janie can be a researcher, I can be Lady L. ;D
YOUSE 2 SKANKS ge'below & stir up a man some GRUB !
I got some belayin' & befloggin' & beggorah'n ter be done deckside.
& mind ye don't go wastin' the mayo on you-know-WHAT either !!
Young Jimmy Emmerlin'll be here afore long & yer don't wanna be messin' with THAT scurvy scumbag's whatfer.
oh, but I am trying to feed you *bounces another chip off of Kim's nose*
Yer got the wrong end o' the pistol, Jules. A man's mouth is up HERE.
Me thinks your aren't as big of a ship as you think you are, Capt. Kim! In fact, I actually you are a little dingy!
DAMMIT! Capt. Kim stole the word "think" out of my last sentence! What a scurvy dog!!!!
What's that yer wipin' off yer chin there Amy ? Mayo ~ Hah !!
Ah, let the party continue...

Swabbing deck...
Sorry, I missed this.....sleepin'. Now must be off to work. Can a piratess get a cup off coffee here? Kim Gamble, galley boy, fetch me some coffee! Arrgh. I'm a lousy piratess, eh? Carry on.

(great to see our buddy Poor Woman!)
The Jimmy Choo Shoo-shaped cake just finished gettin' deck-rated & now I'm bottlin' the home-made booze. Lookin' throo my closet for somethin' sootablee trashee two ware!

Pirate Wimmins, I'm a'comin'!!!!
Damn! My invitation got lost in the mail.
I missed that party and this one, it seems. But, so excited to see Poor Woman!!!!!!!!!!! Zuma, you have magical powers.
Yarrrrrrrr! G'morning ye Pirates!

I see that the decks is swabbed and that I have to lob a giant melon at Kim "Unclear about the concept of Pirate Wimmin in permanent rule of Open Saloon" Gamble.

Ye take it upon yourself to enter a world of relentless trouble, Gamble...but you taste too nasty for us to start roastin' ye!

Coyote, Fernsy, Julie, and jlsathre! It is so cool to see your voices again! We will roll through here for a time.

Now, let me spread some of that roast spammer on a cracker and sip some hair of the dog! I'm going to do my pitiful writing for a bit and will be checking in....ooooh...that eight foot cake was something special....
I must'a ingested the rum meant for someone else and fell asleep on the job. Morning y'all! So where are we now? Anybody left on deck, in the hall?

It was a great party, thank you General Zuma! I'll remember what stay in my head -hazy be it- for a long time. I'll slip out on the next shore and bid you AHOY! Fair winds and may they be behind ya'll! ♥
Did I miss the party? Oh no! I want to party!
The FDA wants to know what's in those smoking drinks. Also the Nuclear Regulatory Commission.
Some parties can go on for days. Im a bit hung over from all that rum and sex but laying around here on this beautiful ship and watching everyone come to this am is quite nice. We are quite a band. Very brave and funny. Good combo. No fights. I think that is really great. No one was killed. Just a few people banned but no blood shed. Yet...
Well, step one of getting through my day is done. Now I have to go downtown for an appointment. Then I will check in for one of Con's nuclear toxonomic drinks.

We are the party animals and no, there has only been one fool who needed to be keelhauled, then roasted to feed the sharks some barbecue. Instead, we put him down below to swab the bilge.

This party is going on! Just stop in when you feel like it and see who has shown up to visit!

We have had some sorely missed friends show up, so spread the word!

Tell the rest to row up in their dinghies and climb aboard!
AAARRR! I saw yer, Gamble-man! Stealin' perfectly good words from Wimmin's comments gets ye Swab Duty and then the brig! And no sex unless ye clean those scurvy teeth! *tosses toothbrush into brig with bottle of water and tube of toothpaste* Get a grip, man!
*fluffs bosom inside corset with some quick arm movement*
Now--where's our Grand High Poobahness of a Pirate Wimmin leader? Wait till she sees ye locked in the brig, yer friends fast asleep in the hold on spiked rum!
Here is a most salient question:”where's our Grand High Poobahness of a Pirate Wimmin leader?”
She ought to stand up, reveal her true identity..
She need s to inculcate long-forgotten pirate wimmin values in her following…
Also, there is the delicate question of the role of males under this new regime.
Obviously, I hope, most will be kept below decks, in chains, but allowed such pleasures as to fulfill homoerotic urges which are bound to occur from containment …

There must be an elite slave male population.
They must be allowed privacy and yet freedom to think out their pagan retro-theology.
The ship must sail in wind that favors it.

I think it can be done… but…the Captain, the leader, must be of pure intent.
Jimmy mate, GET ME OUTA HERE !!
I'll be boogered if they think I'm swabbin' their scurvy deck !
Soon as we come near Papayeete I'm OVERBOARD & gettin' me some o' that Gauguin tail ~ these inte-leckshal OS Wimmins is WAY too harsh on a man. They got RULES, Jimmy !! Who the fook knew ??!!
Grab us a leg o' mutton & a jug o' rum & let's get among a bit o' pagan ill-itterites, innit !!
Swab they own fookin' deck fer a change, eh hearty ;-) ??
Stand fast, ye Wimmins! In the absence of her Grand High Poobahnes, I am yer captor, Gamble Man!
There'll be none o' yer scurvy games below, and Mike's the new swabby, chained to the mainmast, till we can locate Zumalicious, our Fearless (yet mysteriously absent) Leader!
*tosses him a small skin flask of drinking water and a loaf of stale bread*
*locks the brig's outer door with her key*
*hides key*

C'mon Jimmy ~ put that Parrot o' yours to work ... there's only so many places a wench can hide a key !
It's not on me person, you twit!
*adjusts her left boot-top, smoking her longhandled pipe*
Ahhh! Ye shall be rewarded with my presence and my manifesto.

The Gamble be in the Black jail now. He has no portfolio and will come out to do the bilge swabbin' if he wants his vittles. Yarrrr.

We Pirate Wimmin rules!

We can rock the feed at will and have done so to send the spammers off, screaming like men who have to go to the store and buy our tampons! Yarrrr!

We Pirate Wimmin party like it's 2099 and everyone has a paying job!

We Pirate Wimmin shall rock it and then roll it and then toss it all around!

See there in the distance? I have come with the ship of boogie that will bolster up our ship of state!

See who be thar!

AARR! Reporting for duty, Yer Poobahness!
Have begun Musical Entertainment at my blog, but am ready for duty at yer behest!
Instead of the Black Jail, the Gamble has asked that he be keel hauled then jerked through hot ashes...

Or maybe was have his keel jerked and his ashes hauled....

Whatever! MORE GROG!!!!
AR! More grog fer Amy!
We got neutron Grog!

We are so tough that when Con Chapman sent the Nuclear Regulators to check out or smokin' drink, they joined the party and gave up the recipe...straight from the large Hadrion collider! Yarrrr!

I finally got the 200 person blogwhore done, so if I double messaged...then count your blessings twice...ha ha!

I also made an open call: tag it "Where I stand on the War against wimmin", and I will put a link in a master post that will have a better title.

Yarrr....somebody bought pinata cookies.
I'm ok as long as it's Amy jerks my keel !

What ?? !! I DIDN'T SAY THAT !!!!

Who is this person haunting my avatar ... could it be The Ghost Of Jane You-know-Whoo-Smithie ?
Beggin' yer pardon, ma'am, but just exactly what IS a pinata cookie?
@Gamble Man: Quiet yers, or there'll be no more nookie fer the likes o' yer!
*grooving to her favorite Keb'Mo' tune*
The pinata cookies will cinco your de mayo! The link is added at the top of this post!

Kim Gamble seems to have found out how he fares when he pokes at the Piratesse! ha ha! I still don't think he's ready, so we toss him a bone with a hole in it and if he does not show out with some killer jazz licks, he will be licked! Yrrrrrr.

How's the grog, Amy?
Sorry I got here late. I was on the poop deck.
Sorry I missed the fest- hope the roast spambeast was good. Did you go teriyaki this time, or cilantro lime tequila glaze?
Oryoki: I'm DJ'in' it over at me own blog, where we're also serving more grog! care to make yer own request/

An' we did our spammer with a new glaze : Orange Kahlua! get down!
*moonwalks past Gamble's "cage", wafting chicken wing odors in his direction, the perfect torture for the prisoner*
ARRRRRRR! The grog be great!

Oh, and the likelihood of this pirate wommin yanking the Gamble's keel is about as him having a 8 incher down on his gun deck. Just ain't happening no matter how much grog gets drunk!

('Sides, I hear tell from his parrot that the poor sod's powder is wet, if ye catch me drift!)
@Harry's Ghost: Watch yer don't get any idea, now! Hold him, ladies, while Oryoki manacles him to his poop deck!
Well stay and check it out Oryoki: We just hijacked the entire cast and crew of Food TV and put them on the Fresh Spammer boat...those jokers brought a whole dinghy fulla ingredients...whooo!

Ahhh...good! Harry's Ghost is here to give wise counsel to Kim Gamble before Safe Bet has him begging for a plank walkin' ha ha!

Pop over to Poor Woman's place!...she's the DJ for this soiree!
And a new one for the road! i'm about to go offline for the rest of the nite--last call for ONE request for the music at my place!
Nitey nite, dear! Thanks for being a fantastic Pirate and a good hostess. I'll take the night shift and will deal with the shiftless!
Aye!Aye! yer Poobahness!
This Pirate Wommin DJ is signin' off fer now!
i hear there's rum and women aplenty here!
They's wimmin, but we be pirates and likes our Jimmy Choos...you bring some Jimmy Choos or a live spammer?

Welcome, and enjoy the neutron drinks, lemonpulp!
Hey, as long as it's authentic Pirate Spam, it ought to be tasty. I don't want no imitation spam, it cheapens the Pirate Wimmin experience.
Oh, it is the real deal...I heard the spammers yelling "Cheap! Cheap!" and "Live Streaming until we die!" as they were being led to the hold of the Food Network boat....yummmm....they are so juicy and delicious....

Now if we can marinate Kim Gamble....
It's funny. I just spent the weekend in Vegas and reminisced about the whole OS meet-up circa 2009 (erp; such a long fucking time since I've been 'round these parts, I can't remember how to do the linky thing) and was feeling so nostalgic and shit that I decided to stop in and visit for a spell! Or a spell check. Or a drink. Or a man. Or, whatever. And here you were (or are, as may be the case)! Nice to see you carrying on in your usual way, zuma! I'm all for pirate wimmen insurgence. Outsurgence, not so much....
For James Emmerling: I had to think about your comment first. This is true that the Pirate Poobah must consider the delightful and squeezable mens.

We resolved long ago to get along in unity and friendship, even if a handful of miscreants did not get the memo from the last Parlay. You see them here and there...they either make for great cabin boyos or great entertainment! ha ha!

We resolved to join forces and to fight the mutual enemies of spamming and right wing deconstructionism.

So let us move forth in unity as we tackle the war on wimmin...
Cartouche! It is good to read your voice. Someone plaintively said last week that we needed one of these, given the winter doldrums and crappy year that a lot of us have been through.

OS has been working better and there are many new and old voices here, still cranking out some of the best reading in the universe. I left for several months and could not stay away after the system started working again.

Here's a smokin' neutron libation with plenty of megavegemins in it...and the mens are looking pretty good, especially that fellow over there....ooooh! shiny!
Nitey nite, all! See you at @ 10 am PST tomorrow!
Guten Morgen, Capt'n Morgan that is ladies!!!! Time for the second day of the party!!!! Hoist the flags, sling those oars in the water and let's make it a great flotilla of tortillas!!!

See you down at Carlo's River Cafe in Crystal Lake, it is just a hole in the wall, just our speed, excellent, simple Mexican food, and you got to bring your own Corona, so bring a case, don't be shy!!!

Roasted corn, guacamole and hot salted chips, nachos piled high with marinated chicken, a big been and beef burrito and a few soft tacos to go....you're gonna need that for the ride back.....

All the kids hang out here and it is near the river, so unless you don't care about your clothes gettin' wet, dress appropriate mates!!!

See ya, Mates!!
Ahoy, Sheila!

Does Carlos's do breakfast? Last I saw of her Grand High Poobahness she was staggering towards her cabin with a chain gang of 6 men in tow. Seeing as how there was only a half dozen of the scurvy scoundrels, and one of THEM was the Gamble, she will undoubtably wake up A bit terse and a LOT unsatisfied. A hearty breakfast and a gallon or so of Tequila Sunrises should improve her mood me thinks.

I could do with some huevos ranchero, hot buttered tortillas and a nice breakfast steak covered in salsa me self.
Oh, Safe Bet...I did too much and went too far. Woke up this morning with a feather in me eye and a **** in my hand. I had to work with that for a while and found that my right leg wouldn't work...it fell asleep, piled under a big, buttery man who showed up sometime last night....

But I'm here! The decks is swabbed, Kim Gamble is still in the Black Jail, losing pounds as we speak. Throw a fist of roasted spammer in there...we do have compassion, ha ha!

Let's have a giant frittata with cheese, chorizo and chiles! The three "C's" should go well with phat tortillas and some carnitas...ahhh...and roasted poblanos. Then we'll wash it down with mango, pineapple, coconut smoothie...

Then I'm gonna watch the frolicking mens....they so cute! Lookit!
Yeah they are, Zuma...

I like how you have them in those frilly pink dresses and how they hold reach others dainty lil hands when they "man" the oars. The tiaras are cute too. I see that scurvy dog Santorum even brought his own dress and tiara! Sweet!

So what's your plans for you man bitches, after they get done doing all of your cooking, cleaning and pedicuring. Think they can attend the Daily Republican flogging?

You should enter the Gamble in the wet tshirt contest that's gonna follow it. That should be good for a laugh (and a purge!)
Careful with the laughin'. It makes for the purgin'. ha ha.

Gamble will be forced to listen to the Sarah Palin show on Fox...with a twist...we'll make her voice even more screechy! yarrrrr.

Ahhh...the long term plans for the mens...Right now, we'll just let them frolic...oooh...that one I'll take...and we'll let them have some nuts and crackers...Republican crackers...eeee!
Zumalicious, as a reluctant member of the male species
(not for any weird reason, just cuz wimminz are more interesting and smell better and are not worried about me coming on to them , like most men tend to be, cuz I am glammy and flamboyant when I got some good grog in me, it is in the wrists,,,arg…)

As a svelte brainy type, I could be of a lot of use to any high power pirate gals who would wanna use me, for whatever…my life is dull….mostly “law and order” marathons…lusting after the prosecutor babes, and in that sicko one, special victims, savoring jayne mansfield’s daughter, Olivia….anyway…

Kim is a man doomed to be severely humiliated and taught by raw pirate wimmin to be a better gentleman. This is his only hope to make for himself a useful enjoyable life….a period of abject slavery to woman is not something a man can avoid, if he is to be a man.

As the marquis de sade said: “Nothing we can do outrages Nature directly. Our acts of destruction give her new vigour and feed her energy, but none of our wreckings can weaken her power.”

when a gal is finally elected president, change, real change,
will come.
Okay... If you've got the republican crackers already (and you sure got a BUNCH of them didn't ya???) I'll go get the nuts.

**she says as she brandishes her Lorena Bobbet memorial cutlass and walks directly towards John Boehner's cage with a big grin on her mug**
James, we thrives on the delicious goodness of mens who are mens who are stout hearted mens. My spell checker is going crazy.

Yes..we need to pop open the bubbly and have cutlass stew: whatever the cutlass can get into fist size pieces!

I just started me e-book. I'm at chapter 4, and can't wait to see how it ends.
With a hundred and thirty something comments you people are far too silly and as the grumpy hermit I'm hereby ending this skit! "And now for something completely different."
And now for something completely different:
A Republican male who's among the converted!
I say we fry one openly, on a heavy skillet till he dances and promises to vote for women's safety properly from now on!!!!!!
I say we give them vaginas and make them have some periods...with migranes and cramps! That'll shut them up!
And, by the way, JMAC, we rule here. You can dictate nothing. Now throw him in the Black jail with that Kim Gamble.
Pirate Wommin PW reporting for duty, ma'am!
I do not believe we ever invited him or or input, did we? So th eBlack Jail now has TWO prisoners!
Also, the Gamble man was snuck an ipad by his friend Jimmy, who apparently had smuggled it in his, er, "jocks", according to Gamble.
So he's posting, even wile incarcerated!
Just thought you'd like to know.
They know not what they do until they peer out of their cell and see that all the good stuff goes to the mens who adores us!

The Black Jail is where the oblivious live in oblivion. From there, they may speak, but they will not be heard. They may see, but they may not be seen. They may smell, but they will smell bad! They cannot taste because they have no taste. Yarrr...they be in a bad way...

OS is taking 5 minutes per page load, so I have to say nitey nite, folks.
Play well, or we will getcha getcha good!
Fooked if I'm spendin' another mo' in Black Jail wi' JMac ~ Have yer seen the c*ck on the man ?
Ima Fookin Outa Here !
Jimmy be boogered ~ where'd all that f'losophy get yer, 'part from halfway up Miss Oblong's whatchermacallit ?
Gude Nicht yer scurvies & be careful with them scimitars ~ you'll need 'm to shave, & that.
Hiccup. Swines everywhere. permission to board ship.
""permission granted. Now where's the rum? **Kicking bodies strewn about the deck** Aww the pirates are all napping. Makes it easier to rob 'em of all their stuff, i say. Glug glug .
The first great pirate wimmin insurrection occurred due to a threat to the borders of Canada. But let us not forget that other successful pirate wimmin insurrections have taken place. I like to recall, with great fondness, the three day war against the Republican harlot and her hundreds of minions who tried to establish a "place" on OS for themselves. Alas, she fled and deleted her account, although all our comments still exist in the ether. We had a common enemy, and we frightened her off of this particualar area of the internet. Good times!
(They were getting kicked off of Wordpress or something and wanted to import the entire community to OS. They did not succeed. I don't think they got a word in edgewise. Well, they tried to run their community on OS but we just kept making pirate jokes, which made it difficult for them to ,y'know, participate. best use of our tremendous force IMHO)
Blah blah blah blah blah blah hiccup blah blah blah blah kiks someone blah blah blah. I hatress this party.
Ahhh...nothing like the smell of your enemies bitter defeat in the morning!

Yarrr. Gamble now understands our resolve to maintain our rule! But it is clear that a few more days or years in the Black Jail is needed. His companion is looking mighty hungry, too! ha.

Why aim hatress this party, I do not know. Never heard of the republican slags who attempted to come aboard after their ouster from Wordpress. They be like gypsies, finding no comfort or welcome anywhere for their cons and scams.

OS is working fine now.

I will be checking in for old timers who have something good to say to those who need their spirits raised.

A vat of hair of the dog is on the way....
L in the SE reporting (very late) for duty, Wimmins. (salutes) I must have had too much grog over the weekend, cuz it was our annual street festival in my neighborhood, so I'm just getting my sea legs back. I am so happy to see Pea-Dubb back on board!

I was just lonely.
Well, aim, ye aint be lonely here! Stop by to see who's causing trouble or feeding us food...Hey! you! Get those boyos to work rubbin' and scrubbin' that poop deck!...sorry...we drizzle in through the day and night....

L in the southeast! Welcome and thanks for stopping by. Coyote, aim, PW and more have shown up. This is a good thing and all can keep coming by. Do check out PW's DJ spot...she has the jam what am going on over there.
Well, I'm off to work on me e-book. I've hit a block at chapter 4 and must break through it with a sledgehammer. See you this afternoon! If you are awake by then, that is.
Pirate Wimmin PW reporting for duty, Ma'am!

hey, youse!
Scurvy lot!
*catches Gamble and his mate trying to pick the Black Jail's lock*
*Confiscates hairpin they were using (trying to use)*
*throws them a new skin flask of water and a stale loaf of bread*
*also throws them a packet of unscented baby wipes*
Clean up, ye swabbies! Yer stench is clouding our ability to smell the grub above!
They're all hung over and feelin' sorry for themselves, Poorwoman. Talking about salads and what's wrong with the joint. At least Art James is back.
I cant walk in heels!!!
@Linda: No need! You may wear flats all you like here. We are not necessarily into heels, just shoes in general. Am I not correct, O brave Poobahness?