This is officially a Pirate Wimmin Party, folks. It will go on all week.
That means who cares when you got here?
Poor Woman is the official DJ! She has the jams what am, so pop over there, too!
History:
The first Pirate Wimmin insurrection took up two weeks of Open Saloon's time...let's bring back the spirit and tone of the greatest force in social write-working!
Dedicated to the great General JK Brady, of course.
Just pop in whenever you feel like it....
Sail the high (but classy) seas of Pirate Wimmin deliciously polite and sexy partying!
Yarrrrrr!
The party is on until it is off, folks, so join in. Grab a haunch of meat and pinch from each other's plates. We have food galore and mens so naked that they are weeping.
Virtual Partying
Make sure that the invitations go out early, to allow maximum attendance.
Do not wait until the last minute on Sunday, 29 April, 2012 to announce that the...
Pirate Wimmin and Men’s party
starts right here at this post at
4 p.m. PST today! Bring Rum,
candy
and meat!
Do make sure to put out plenty of virtual cushions, hand sanitizer, and first aid kits.
Make sure that the food is plentiful and that the drink is not toxic.
Toilet wine is not acceptable libation for a Pirate Wimmin party.
Make sure that meat is cut into fist sized portions.
Summary
The Wild, wild web (WWW) offers many opportunities to socialize, mix it up and show it off. The rules of social etiquette insure a smooth, functional place for getting it on with style and glam.
As always....
Dont Hog It All!!!!
Bring Cake, bling, high fashion
clothing, Jimmy Choo shoes, and
lobster! We will roast a spammer
today! Spammer for all!
TIP:
Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
nilesite
Brie aka Barbara K
Gerald Andersen
Brazen Princess
Ben Sen
Alan Nothnagle
Salon.com
Comments
And, now a word from our sponsor:
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Wait, did you say Pirate Wimmin?? Are they gonna get naked and dance and howl at the moon??? I got a rib roast in the fridge!
And I asked what's in the drink and was told "Nacho"!
I said "What's Nacho?
The guy said "Nacho business!" ha ha ha!
http://www.youtube.com/watchv=GCFRJEjM3fc&feature=related
Hy and designator: It was time! We need some hijinks around this place.
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=you+can+leave+your+hat+on+strip+dance&oq=you+can+lea&aq=3&aqi=g10&aql=&gs_l=youtube-psuggest.1.3.0l10.17183.20135.0.23136.13.13.1.1.2.0.168.1139.4j7.11.0.
OMG!! You totally had me - I was ready to reply with a snarky comment, like So, you stopped Foodie, Zuma?. And there's a party going on? That is so totally KOOL !!!!
Ahoy! Ahoy!
R♥
Designator: Hmmm...this former president turns three spits into a trifecta...then he's definitely a Republican! Throw him off the side, he's of no use!
Zanelle: Hmmm "Pirate wimmen share tips for sexy sex and risque manners!" ha ha!
after it all came out: "sharing tips for sexy sex and risque manners!" ha ha!
well that was like when Pandora opened her, i
shall not say "box",
but her cabinet...
olbermann? i never liked him. the cut of his Gib. snarky.
like, "here is the news, you dumb cretins,
savor it with my sarcasm' arg.
'the rules of social etiquette insure a smooth, functional place for getting it on with style and glam."
damn right. nothing more intriguingly sensual/sexual etc
than etiquette done right.
so few can pull it off, glad to see u can.
I no longer eat lobster.
Lobster salad, sure, but not lobster where i gotta eviscerate
the poor tortured beast.
knees high. hopefully dancing to some tune.?
I'm with you on the lobster and cannot stand the idea of boiling them alive. There is no excuse for doing that to a living thing!
Oooh...someone came here looking for Designator...he's got a big crate of something....run that through the metal detector, please!
Drinks, water, any one? I do the refills for another hour.
Thanks for womaning the bar. I'll have a smokin' Baileys and a dash of peppermint schnapps. I call those Mint Baileys.
Is the party already over?
Did I miss everything again?
PW
:)
They can be wicked, traitorous man-pirates!
btw, if someone engages in a virtual one night stand, does he have to send a thank you text the next morning? I'm asking for a friend of course.
ARR!
♥
hope i am still a pirate wimmin, in spite of my latest blog. because i brought coconut cake AND rum, AND a cute swabbie!
Myriad, I missed you! Welcome! Here's a giant pile of berries and cream....
*makes a mad dive with into aforementioned berries and cream with large serving spoon, dollops into own bowl, smiling broadly*
Zuma, O Grand Poobahness, I know you had no idea it was this poor woman's bday, but nevermind--i'm perfectly content with this Pirate Wimmin Party's timing.
:) :) :)
PW
happy birthday, and i hope you like coconut cake!
I LOVES me some coconut cake, love! Thank you!!!!!
Just no candles, okay? Don't want to burn down the mainmast with full sail!
;)
ARRR!
Daisy Jane: I wish the oldies but goodies would stop by, but this was short notice.
Here, everyone...it's the 8 foot cake! Wheel it in, boyos! Oh my, who's going to pop out? Does anyone have an idea?
yes, no candles anymore for me, either, unless its just two number candles of my age (which is newly stuck at "advanced 39").
and it sure was nice to see PW!
Remember when we took over the first time, under the leadership of the Great General JK Brady? That was histoy in the making...The Palin boys and Capt Parrotdead didn't know what hit 'em....It took up an entire two weeks of Open Saloon!
Well...just an old Pirate talking about the old days...Bring on some more rum and booze!
Your verdict, your Grand Poobahness?
This will commemorate the congrunce of Pirate Wimmin rule that has remained unbroken since then....Bring the party on and let it flourish wildly and for a time!
Arrrrrrr!
Maestro! Music, please!
Hoist yer barnacles & spread yer sheets ~ YER BOARDED, yer bitches !!
'Prare to DIE !!
OO I been 'waitin' fer this :-)=
I'd suggest you tuck your fo'c's'le between your legs and swashbuckle your ass outta here before I break out my Lorena Bobbet Memorial Cutlass and shiver your timbers, mate(ey)!
:D
oh, yeah, reading to do here, ok, right
sorry, that one had guach on it
I got some belayin' & befloggin' & beggorah'n ter be done deckside.
& mind ye don't go wastin' the mayo on you-know-WHAT either !!
Young Jimmy Emmerlin'll be here afore long & yer don't wanna be messin' with THAT scurvy scumbag's whatfer.
Swabbing deck...
(great to see our buddy Poor Woman!)
Pirate Wimmins, I'm a'comin'!!!!
I see that the decks is swabbed and that I have to lob a giant melon at Kim "Unclear about the concept of Pirate Wimmin in permanent rule of Open Saloon" Gamble.
Ye take it upon yourself to enter a world of relentless trouble, Gamble...but you taste too nasty for us to start roastin' ye!
Coyote, Fernsy, Julie, and jlsathre! It is so cool to see your voices again! We will roll through here for a time.
Now, let me spread some of that roast spammer on a cracker and sip some hair of the dog! I'm going to do my pitiful writing for a bit and will be checking in....ooooh...that eight foot cake was something special....
It was a great party, thank you General Zuma! I'll remember what stay in my head -hazy be it- for a long time. I'll slip out on the next shore and bid you AHOY! Fair winds and may they be behind ya'll! ♥
We are the party animals and no, there has only been one fool who needed to be keelhauled, then roasted to feed the sharks some barbecue. Instead, we put him down below to swab the bilge.
This party is going on! Just stop in when you feel like it and see who has shown up to visit!
We have had some sorely missed friends show up, so spread the word!
Tell the rest to row up in their dinghies and climb aboard!
*fluffs bosom inside corset with some quick arm movement*
Now--where's our Grand High Poobahness of a Pirate Wimmin leader? Wait till she sees ye locked in the brig, yer friends fast asleep in the hold on spiked rum!
;)
She ought to stand up, reveal her true identity..
She need s to inculcate long-forgotten pirate wimmin values in her following…
Also, there is the delicate question of the role of males under this new regime.
Obviously, I hope, most will be kept below decks, in chains, but allowed such pleasures as to fulfill homoerotic urges which are bound to occur from containment …
There must be an elite slave male population.
They must be allowed privacy and yet freedom to think out their pagan retro-theology.
The ship must sail in wind that favors it.
I think it can be done… but…the Captain, the leader, must be of pure intent.
I'll be boogered if they think I'm swabbin' their scurvy deck !
Soon as we come near Papayeete I'm OVERBOARD & gettin' me some o' that Gauguin tail ~ these inte-leckshal OS Wimmins is WAY too harsh on a man. They got RULES, Jimmy !! Who the fook knew ??!!
Grab us a leg o' mutton & a jug o' rum & let's get among a bit o' pagan ill-itterites, innit !!
Swab they own fookin' deck fer a change, eh hearty ;-) ??
There'll be none o' yer scurvy games below, and Mike's the new swabby, chained to the mainmast, till we can locate Zumalicious, our Fearless (yet mysteriously absent) Leader!
AARRRRRRR!!!!!!!
*locks the brig's outer door with her key*
*hides key*
C'mon Jimmy ~ put that Parrot o' yours to work ... there's only so many places a wench can hide a key !
*adjusts her left boot-top, smoking her longhandled pipe*
The Gamble be in the Black jail now. He has no portfolio and will come out to do the bilge swabbin' if he wants his vittles. Yarrrr.
We Pirate Wimmin rules!
We can rock the feed at will and have done so to send the spammers off, screaming like men who have to go to the store and buy our tampons! Yarrrr!
We Pirate Wimmin party like it's 2099 and everyone has a paying job!
We Pirate Wimmin shall rock it and then roll it and then toss it all around!
See there in the distance? I have come with the ship of boogie that will bolster up our ship of state!
See who be thar!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5b2VEbVxY4
Have begun Musical Entertainment at my blog, but am ready for duty at yer behest!
AARRR!
*saluting*
Or maybe was have his keel jerked and his ashes hauled....
Whatever! MORE GROG!!!!
We are so tough that when Con Chapman sent the Nuclear Regulators to check out or smokin' drink, they joined the party and gave up the recipe...straight from the large Hadrion collider! Yarrrr!
I finally got the 200 person blogwhore done, so if I double messaged...then count your blessings twice...ha ha!
I also made an open call: tag it "Where I stand on the War against wimmin", and I will put a link in a master post that will have a better title.
Yarrr....somebody bought pinata cookies.
What ?? !! I DIDN'T SAY THAT !!!!
Who is this person haunting my avatar ... could it be The Ghost Of Jane You-know-Whoo-Smithie ?
Kim Gamble seems to have found out how he fares when he pokes at the Piratesse! ha ha! I still don't think he's ready, so we toss him a bone with a hole in it and if he does not show out with some killer jazz licks, he will be licked! Yrrrrrr.
How's the grog, Amy?
An' we did our spammer with a new glaze : Orange Kahlua! get down!
*moonwalks past Gamble's "cage", wafting chicken wing odors in his direction, the perfect torture for the prisoner*
Oh, and the likelihood of this pirate wommin yanking the Gamble's keel is about as him having a 8 incher down on his gun deck. Just ain't happening no matter how much grog gets drunk!
('Sides, I hear tell from his parrot that the poor sod's powder is wet, if ye catch me drift!)
Ar!
Ahhh...good! Harry's Ghost is here to give wise counsel to Kim Gamble before Safe Bet has him begging for a plank walkin' ha ha!
Pop over to Poor Woman's place!...she's the DJ for this soiree!
AARRRRR!
This Pirate Wommin DJ is signin' off fer now!
AARRR!
Welcome, and enjoy the neutron drinks, lemonpulp!
Now if we can marinate Kim Gamble....
We resolved long ago to get along in unity and friendship, even if a handful of miscreants did not get the memo from the last Parlay. You see them here and there...they either make for great cabin boyos or great entertainment! ha ha!
We resolved to join forces and to fight the mutual enemies of spamming and right wing deconstructionism.
So let us move forth in unity as we tackle the war on wimmin...
OS has been working better and there are many new and old voices here, still cranking out some of the best reading in the universe. I left for several months and could not stay away after the system started working again.
Here's a smokin' neutron libation with plenty of megavegemins in it...and the mens are looking pretty good, especially that fellow over there....ooooh! shiny!
See you down at Carlo's River Cafe in Crystal Lake, it is just a hole in the wall, just our speed, excellent, simple Mexican food, and you got to bring your own Corona, so bring a case, don't be shy!!!
Roasted corn, guacamole and hot salted chips, nachos piled high with marinated chicken, a big been and beef burrito and a few soft tacos to go....you're gonna need that for the ride back.....
All the kids hang out here and it is near the river, so unless you don't care about your clothes gettin' wet, dress appropriate mates!!!
See ya, Mates!!
Does Carlos's do breakfast? Last I saw of her Grand High Poobahness she was staggering towards her cabin with a chain gang of 6 men in tow. Seeing as how there was only a half dozen of the scurvy scoundrels, and one of THEM was the Gamble, she will undoubtably wake up A bit terse and a LOT unsatisfied. A hearty breakfast and a gallon or so of Tequila Sunrises should improve her mood me thinks.
I could do with some huevos ranchero, hot buttered tortillas and a nice breakfast steak covered in salsa me self.
But I'm here! The decks is swabbed, Kim Gamble is still in the Black Jail, losing pounds as we speak. Throw a fist of roasted spammer in there...we do have compassion, ha ha!
Let's have a giant frittata with cheese, chorizo and chiles! The three "C's" should go well with phat tortillas and some carnitas...ahhh...and roasted poblanos. Then we'll wash it down with mango, pineapple, coconut smoothie...
Then I'm gonna watch the frolicking mens....they so cute! Lookit!
I like how you have them in those frilly pink dresses and how they hold reach others dainty lil hands when they "man" the oars. The tiaras are cute too. I see that scurvy dog Santorum even brought his own dress and tiara! Sweet!
So what's your plans for you man bitches, after they get done doing all of your cooking, cleaning and pedicuring. Think they can attend the Daily Republican flogging?
You should enter the Gamble in the wet tshirt contest that's gonna follow it. That should be good for a laugh (and a purge!)
Gamble will be forced to listen to the Sarah Palin show on Fox...with a twist...we'll make her voice even more screechy! yarrrrr.
Ahhh...the long term plans for the mens...Right now, we'll just let them frolic...oooh...that one I'll take...and we'll let them have some nuts and crackers...Republican crackers...eeee!
(not for any weird reason, just cuz wimminz are more interesting and smell better and are not worried about me coming on to them , like most men tend to be, cuz I am glammy and flamboyant when I got some good grog in me, it is in the wrists,,,arg…)
As a svelte brainy type, I could be of a lot of use to any high power pirate gals who would wanna use me, for whatever…my life is dull….mostly “law and order” marathons…lusting after the prosecutor babes, and in that sicko one, special victims, savoring jayne mansfield’s daughter, Olivia….anyway…
Kim is a man doomed to be severely humiliated and taught by raw pirate wimmin to be a better gentleman. This is his only hope to make for himself a useful enjoyable life….a period of abject slavery to woman is not something a man can avoid, if he is to be a man.
As the marquis de sade said: “Nothing we can do outrages Nature directly. Our acts of destruction give her new vigour and feed her energy, but none of our wreckings can weaken her power.”
when a gal is finally elected president, change, real change,
will come.
**she says as she brandishes her Lorena Bobbet memorial cutlass and walks directly towards John Boehner's cage with a big grin on her mug**
Yes..we need to pop open the bubbly and have cutlass stew: whatever the cutlass can get into fist size pieces!
I just started me e-book. I'm at chapter 4, and can't wait to see how it ends.
A Republican male who's among the converted!
I say we fry one openly, on a heavy skillet till he dances and promises to vote for women's safety properly from now on!!!!!!
AAARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!
I do not believe we ever invited him or or input, did we? So th eBlack Jail now has TWO prisoners!
Also, the Gamble man was snuck an ipad by his friend Jimmy, who apparently had smuggled it in his, er, "jocks", according to Gamble.
So he's posting, even wile incarcerated!
Just thought you'd like to know.
Ma'am!
*saluting*
The Black Jail is where the oblivious live in oblivion. From there, they may speak, but they will not be heard. They may see, but they may not be seen. They may smell, but they will smell bad! They cannot taste because they have no taste. Yarrr...they be in a bad way...
OS is taking 5 minutes per page load, so I have to say nitey nite, folks.
Play well, or we will getcha getcha good!
Ima Fookin Outa Here !
Jimmy be boogered ~ where'd all that f'losophy get yer, 'part from halfway up Miss Oblong's whatchermacallit ?
Gude Nicht yer scurvies & be careful with them scimitars ~ you'll need 'm to shave, & that.
Yarrr. Gamble now understands our resolve to maintain our rule! But it is clear that a few more days or years in the Black Jail is needed. His companion is looking mighty hungry, too! ha.
Why aim hatress this party, I do not know. Never heard of the republican slags who attempted to come aboard after their ouster from Wordpress. They be like gypsies, finding no comfort or welcome anywhere for their cons and scams.
OS is working fine now.
I will be checking in for old timers who have something good to say to those who need their spirits raised.
A vat of hair of the dog is on the way....
Lezlie
L in the southeast! Welcome and thanks for stopping by. Coyote, aim, PW and more have shown up. This is a good thing and all can keep coming by. Do check out PW's DJ spot...she has the jam what am going on over there.
hey, youse!
Scurvy lot!
*catches Gamble and his mate trying to pick the Black Jail's lock*
*Confiscates hairpin they were using (trying to use)*
*throws them a new skin flask of water and a stale loaf of bread*
*also throws them a packet of unscented baby wipes*
Clean up, ye swabbies! Yer stench is clouding our ability to smell the grub above!
AAARRRRR!
:)
HUGGGGGGGGGG
;)