Today is the day...

Changing the soundtrack of my life


Cherokee, Buddhist, Lesbian, Mathematician, Artist, Mensa member IQ 158, Former Punk Rocker, Database Geek by trade, Grandmother.


Zul's Links

APRIL 7, 2011 9:30PM

Death left me a voicemail

Rate: 11 Flag

My phone  rang today while I was eating my lunch.

My friend died, unexpectedly.

Beaten to death by her boyfriend.


He boxed her ears, and her brain was bleeding,

but she went to work as usual.


She didn't tell anyone. She never told anyone.


She left work dizzy and stroked at home.

He didn't call for help.


I keep thinking about the secrets she kept and the pain she lived with.


When I was beaten to death,

they were able to resuscitate me in the ambulance.

Unanswerable questions plague my thoughts.

It feels selfish to wonder

why me

and not her.


She was tough and funny, always ready to laugh at herself or rail against inequities. She was 46 years old and left behind  3 dogs, a son  and a 20 year old daughter.

They are not going to have a service of any kind.


It is as if she has fallen overboard unnoticed.




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Oh god. I am so, so sorry.
Very painful. Very real. So sorry.
This is a honest and lovely tribute.
So sad and sometimes you don't tell anyone because they think that you are looking for attention. I know:(
My heart aches with this poem
beatings of anyone
a terror I cannot imagine
so sorry you were in that place
that she suffered it too
wish there was something
I could do.
rated with love
i console you for your loss.
i hope for retribution of the murderer.
Stark and simply told. Went right to my spine, my core.

Poor soul. Blessings to her.

May these men pay for eternity.
No, you noticed. We noticed. I keep no more secrets, no more silence, for me, for you and for her.

I'm so sorry Zul, the flowers are beautiful and I know it's not enough. Thank you for speaking for her.
How awful! I'm so sorry to hear that terrible news. Why do women stay with brutes like that? I just don't understand....
Is anyone going to call the police on this monster before he does it again to someone else?
You hold her in your heart and your soul. Think of her, pray for her and speak softly to her. There is no justice in this world, no right, no peace.

I will very softly whisper a prayer for your friend tonight.

"What shadows we are and what shadows we pursue."-E. Burke
The nurse said that he has probably been picked up already , but a friend who is a criminal court clerk says that he will probably plead out and get no jail time . Thank you for your support. The tears that fell when I read your responses have been the clearest best most healing event in my day.
Zul, I am so and her family are in my thoughts and prayers. xox
How awful! I hope the criminal court clerk is proven wrong.

This is stark and powerful and loving, zul. And painful.