My phone  rang today while I was eating my lunch.

My friend died, unexpectedly.

Beaten to death by her boyfriend.

He boxed her ears, and her brain was bleeding,

but she went to work as usual.

She didn't tell anyone. She never told anyone.

She left work dizzy and stroked at home.

He didn't call for help.

I keep thinking about the secrets she kept and the pain she lived with.

When I was beaten to death,

they were able to resuscitate me in the ambulance.

Unanswerable questions plague my thoughts.

It feels selfish to wonder

why me

and not her.

She was tough and funny, always ready to laugh at herself or rail against inequities. She was 46 years old and left behind  3 dogs, a son  and a 20 year old daughter.

They are not going to have a service of any kind.

It is as if she has fallen overboard unnoticed.