My heart goes out to the boys who were victimized by the coach at Penn State.  I hear the jury had tears in their eyes after todays testimony.  I do too when I read the news reports.  I can't help but see the vivid picture this trial is making of child abuse.

   What is so horrible about sexually molesting a child is that pleasure is being warped.  To take a wonderful feeling that our bodies can experience free and proud to pervert it by forcing it on another person is so sad.  The coach admits to blowing raspberries on the boy's stomach and horsing around in the showers.  In his mind he was just having fun.

   His mind was tricking him into thinking that these boys could handle his version of pleasure which seems all about him.  He took delight in seeing the boys experience the fun of sex and play but he took away something from them that he didn't even realize was important.  He took away their respect for pleasure.

   One of the most powerful forces on earth is sex, second only to war.  We wage battles in the name of necessity and yet some love the strategy and powerful feelings being a warrior gives them.  We are a species who craves the energy of other people.  We feed off pleasure and pain and they have become inexoribly entwined.

    I am very vulnerable to a controlling person.  I long ago learned to submit to power and get pleasure by surrendering.   When this horrible monster at Penn State focused in on these boys they did not have a chance to run.  He worked his manipulation to the heights of a game of battle.  He became what they always yearned for and their worst nightmare at the same time.  He was not offering torture but pleasure.  He was using them for his own greed.  Is that evil?

    It takes such courage to stand up to a monster who is controlling you with pleasure and say... enough.   I am so proud of all these boys who have grown up in this dream and are now clearly stating what happened and letting all of us know that it is not acceptable.  In my life I have to take control myself and chart my own course.  I do this with a submissive attitude but it is in no way powerless.  I own my surrender.  

   I hope these ten boys who have stood up precariously to state what happened find some peace from the demons unleashed in the world by this child predator.  He needs to be prosecuted and locked up.  I want to see him acknowledge what he has done in the name of pleasure and repent and pay for the pain he has caused.