I posted about a friend of mine being too busy and it seems some people thought it was me who is too busy.

  Ha.  I am not too busy.  I take my time in life and I have arranged my schedule so that I do not get that horrid stressed out feeling of being over extended.  

   I do it at a cost to friends, family and my Art work.  I keep it simple which limits the amount of money I make and the options I have for filling my day.  No rushing to do too many things at once.  I take my time and I do smell the roses because I arrive early for work and use that time to enjoy the walk there and take a million photos of what I see and feel.

  I have been stressed and busy many times in my life especially when I had little kids or tried to do an Art show.  I do not like the person I become when I have too many things to do.  I made a choice not to be busy.

  That means I cannot help as many people as I could.  However I do help some people as I don't want to be a selfish narcissist.  I realized awhile ago that I could not save everyone.  I cannot help anyone if I don't take care of myself first.

   And I am a little lonely.  A simple, non busy life involves just sitting alone for long periods of time and thinking.  That is not a bad thing.  I look at the beautiful Art, stunning movies and medical breakthroughs and I know I could do better.  I have always been "Not Good Enough"....but I really don't care.

   Below is the post I wrote about my friend who is extremely over extended and it was intended to be in his voice.  I miss him.  Another friend was an alcoholic and as many terrible things there are about that  he was a great person to just hang out with and sip a rum drink on a sunny afternoon and shoot the breeze.  He read alot and enjoyed the birds and nature.  I am trying to be as mellow as an alcoholic or a pot head without abusing those substances.  

                                                         .......

 " Busy!   Too busy doing important things.   Too stretched out to be able to add one more thing to my twenty four hours a day.  CAN'T talk now.  Too busy.  So MANY important things to do. 

   People need me.  I have to save them.  I can see them all drowning and reaching out to me with their problems.   I have answers.  I can help and there is so much to do.  So I am too busy to stop and give you a kiss.

   Demands are overwhelming me.  Everyone wants a piece of me and I cannot add just one more thing or I will surely die.  My body can only take so much giving and I am OVER EXTENDED.   Too busy saving souls to pause for you.

  I have to be so many places at so many times.  I am running ragged and people are depending on me to do one hundred percent and HELP people.  I have to get to them all before the end of the day and so I don't have any energy left for you.

  I would like to pause.  Taking care of myself seems like a terrible luxury however.  If I pause to sit an hour with you I might not be able to stop.  I would want more of you.  I would have to spend two hours and then I would be looking forward to two more hours the next day.  

  You see I can't change my life for anyone.  I have committments and responsibilities.  You have the time but I do not.  I have to be vigilant that I do not shirk my duties.  There are people to help.  It is my addiction.   

  I am guided by divine presences.  I am only doing what my religion tells me is important.  I give lots of time to my church and to my job and to my children and to my dog.   But I don't have time for you.  You are addicting.  

  If you were here right now we would be snuggled up listening to the Blues but I would be asleep.   I am exhausted from my three jobs.   This has been a problem all my life.  I have to give until I almost faint.  I am really not allowed to take time for myself.  I am too tired.  Exhausted.

  They have drained me.  The world has my energy and it is in direct conflict to you.  It is my life and I can only hope in my retirement I will have a little more time.  However I heard about a man  who died two years after he retired.  Oh well...I am still too busy for you and too busy to smell the flowers."

   Here are some more flowers to smell.....