I posted about a friend of mine being too busy and it seems some people thought it was me who is too busy.
Ha. I am not too busy. I take my time in life and I have arranged my schedule so that I do not get that horrid stressed out feeling of being over extended.
I do it at a cost to friends, family and my Art work. I keep it simple which limits the amount of money I make and the options I have for filling my day. No rushing to do too many things at once. I take my time and I do smell the roses because I arrive early for work and use that time to enjoy the walk there and take a million photos of what I see and feel.
I have been stressed and busy many times in my life especially when I had little kids or tried to do an Art show. I do not like the person I become when I have too many things to do. I made a choice not to be busy.
That means I cannot help as many people as I could. However I do help some people as I don't want to be a selfish narcissist. I realized awhile ago that I could not save everyone. I cannot help anyone if I don't take care of myself first.
And I am a little lonely. A simple, non busy life involves just sitting alone for long periods of time and thinking. That is not a bad thing. I look at the beautiful Art, stunning movies and medical breakthroughs and I know I could do better. I have always been "Not Good Enough"....but I really don't care.
Below is the post I wrote about my friend who is extremely over extended and it was intended to be in his voice. I miss him. Another friend was an alcoholic and as many terrible things there are about that he was a great person to just hang out with and sip a rum drink on a sunny afternoon and shoot the breeze. He read alot and enjoyed the birds and nature. I am trying to be as mellow as an alcoholic or a pot head without abusing those substances.
" Busy! Too busy doing important things. Too stretched out to be able to add one more thing to my twenty four hours a day. CAN'T talk now. Too busy. So MANY important things to do.
People need me. I have to save them. I can see them all drowning and reaching out to me with their problems. I have answers. I can help and there is so much to do. So I am too busy to stop and give you a kiss.
Demands are overwhelming me. Everyone wants a piece of me and I cannot add just one more thing or I will surely die. My body can only take so much giving and I am OVER EXTENDED. Too busy saving souls to pause for you.
I have to be so many places at so many times. I am running ragged and people are depending on me to do one hundred percent and HELP people. I have to get to them all before the end of the day and so I don't have any energy left for you.
I would like to pause. Taking care of myself seems like a terrible luxury however. If I pause to sit an hour with you I might not be able to stop. I would want more of you. I would have to spend two hours and then I would be looking forward to two more hours the next day.
You see I can't change my life for anyone. I have committments and responsibilities. You have the time but I do not. I have to be vigilant that I do not shirk my duties. There are people to help. It is my addiction.
I am guided by divine presences. I am only doing what my religion tells me is important. I give lots of time to my church and to my job and to my children and to my dog. But I don't have time for you. You are addicting.
If you were here right now we would be snuggled up listening to the Blues but I would be asleep. I am exhausted from my three jobs. This has been a problem all my life. I have to give until I almost faint. I am really not allowed to take time for myself. I am too tired. Exhausted.
They have drained me. The world has my energy and it is in direct conflict to you. It is my life and I can only hope in my retirement I will have a little more time. However I heard about a man who died two years after he retired. Oh well...I am still too busy for you and too busy to smell the flowers."
Here are some more flowers to smell.....