Alpine, California, United States
December 07
I am here in cyberspace trying to understand the true nature of reality. My artwork can be seen in the blog link below.!home/mainPage


Zanelle's Links

APRIL 19, 2012 7:35AM

The Mae West in Me

Rate: 14 Flag

  The Government spending scandal in Las Vegas reminds me that people love a good party.  Last week's Mad Men showed business being conducted in a classy sex house. " Why don't you come up and see me sometime? " The world's oldest profession is alive and well.  Still underground but if we could only get it out in the open we might be able to relax, enjoy this world and chart a new course.  

I think of starting a website where it would be like visiting an intellectual cat house.  All the lady felines would know how to discuss physics, Tolstoy and play every musical instrument.  Kind of a world of Geishas but on a purely volunteer basis.  The key is to let the women be in charge. 

  Which of course leads us to what would go on at such a place.  I have been invited to a place with some very interesting rules here in San Diego.  I think Mae West might like to go to a party like this one...


Kitten and Sandy's

Monthly Potluck and Pool BBW Party

2nd Friday of EACH MONTH!

Bring a Towel! Bring a dish! 

The pool is currently being heated so bring a towel and let's swim! Our last potluck was a huge success with tons of food so we are doing it again.

City and State: Spring Valley, California (San Diego)

Hosted By: KittenBBW, Sandy, Amanda, Ronnie, and

Description: A party for BBW's and those who love them! It's a really big house with and outside area with a firepit. You can socialize or more depending on your mood. Kitten and Sandy are hosting the party and they love meeting new people as well seeing all the wonderful regulars! Our goal is to create a nice, relaxing place for all you wonderful and big, beautiful women to meet men who will treat you as the Goddesses you are! Come check out this great house and let us know what you think! And there is PLENTY OF EASY PARKING!

Date: Friday, April 13 th, 2012

Time: 9PM - 2AM

ADDRESS: 9691 Saint George St., Spring Valley, Calif. 91977

City: Spring Valley, Calif. (San Diego Area)

Location Details: It's a really big house with plenty of room to play. There's also a big pool outside that we are working on getting heated. It should be heated by the next party! And did we mention there is PLENTY OF EASY PARKING!!!

E-mail Contact:


NO DONATION for BBW's or Couples!

40.00 Single Men

*Please have your donation in an envelope and hand it to the door person when you arrive. We prefer not having to ask for it.


• Please be superclean and hygenic.
• ABSOLUTELY NO drug use will be tolerated. 
• No alcohol. 
• Safe sex only.
• No illegal activities.
• No loud talking outside.
 NO talking in front of the house.

Join our web site:

See you at the party!





"I've been hosting parties for many years and I always get tons of questions so hopefully if you have a question you will find the answer here. This should cover EVERYTHING. If I have forgotten anything, just ask." Admin aka Ronnie

What is a BBW Party?

It is a party designed to celebrate BBW's and to give nice people a chance to meet in a safe, sane, sober, and friendly environment.

What is a BBW?

BBW stands for Big Beautiful Woman.

How old is a BBW?

A BBW can be any age, any race, any size.

I'm not big, beautiful or a woman, can I still come to your party?

Everyone is beautiful! And, yes, everyone is welcome at our parties as long as they are nice. We only allow nice people at our parties. If you aren't friendly, respectful and nice, please don't come.

What happens at these parties?

People talk, laugh, hug, kiss, eat, dance, socialize. Sometimes we play games. We swim if the weather is good. The house has a pool and we are hoping to get it heated so we can swim all year round.

Do people have sex at these parties?

That has been known to happen. The parties have a wonderful sexual energy but not everyone who comes to the party has sex or is looking for sex. A guy recently told me he went to three parties but only had sex at the third party. He said the sex was amazing and worth the wait.

If I go can I have sex?

Sure, if you find a willing partner.

Can I just walk in and start having sex?

Sure, if you find a willing partner.

Are there people there that will want to have sex with me?

I have no idea. You have to go and meet people.

Do lots of horny women go to your parties?

Lots of cool people go to the parties. I don't know if they are horny or celibate. We get lots of cool women, lots of cool men and awesome couples. 

So I'm guaranteed to get laid, right?

Hell no. It's a party not a brothel. No one is paid for sex and no one is paid to attend.

I like getting my dick sucked and eating pussy. Can you make sure that happens?

Are you high? I'm not a pimp. The only thing I can guarantee is that you will be treated with respect and you will meet very warm and nice people. You will feel welcome and you will not feel judged. (Unless you sign up for one of our contests.)

What kinds of contests?

We had a Best Butt Contest at one of our parties. That was fun. Best Boobs, too. It was a crazy-fun contest.

Do ugly people go to your parties?

Only an ugly and judgmental person would ask such a question and if you are asking that you should not come to our party! Everyone at our party is  beautiful.

Are black people allowed at your party?

Are you insane? EVERYONE over 18 is allowed at our party regardless of age, race, ethnicity or sexual orientation. If you are racist, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do not come to our party!

Do you serve alcohol at your parties? Can I bring my own?

No. Our parties are totally alcohol-free. 

That's no fun! 

Then go to a bar. If you need alcohol to have fun then these are not the parties for you. We don't want people getting drunk, getting DUI's or underage drinking so we have a strict no-alcohol policy.

Is the party 420 friendly?

No. Absolutely not. If we catch you doing drugs of any kind you will be asked to leave and not allowed back.

No drugs? No alcohol? Your party sounds boring.

Yes, it's very boring. You shouldn't come. Listen, people do have sex at these parties. Sex is safest when both people are sober. One drunk can ruin a party. We are a safe-sex only party and often drugs and alcohol can lower judgement. We want everyone to leave the party as healthy as when they arrived. So that's that.

So where can I have sex?

Anywhere in the house except the bathrooms.

Are there private rooms?

No, there are semi-private rooms with sheets over the doors. Whoever is in the room gets to decide who else can come in. Please ask before entering a room and please don't monopolize a room all night.

Do you supply condoms and lube?

Yes, but it's always smart to carry your own, be prepared. Especially if you require Magnums.

If I come with my wife or girlfriend do we have to use condoms with each other?

No, but if you just met 10 minutes ago PLEASE use condoms! Please. Safe sex is best!

How do I find someone to have sex with?

I have no idea. You might want to start with introducing yourself. Give a compliment. Sitting in the corner texting on your phone probably won't do it.

What if no one wants to have sex with me?

I don't know what to say.

What if a woman is taking on a bunch of guys can I just get in line and stick it in?

NO! Ask first!

What if a woman is having sex with 2 or 3 guys and I'm better looking than all of them but she doesn't want me. That's fucked up right?

NO! That's her choice. Get over it and move on. Respect! Always! No hard feelings.

So how much is the party?

It's free for women and M/F couples. It's $40.00 for single men.

$40.00 for single men??? Why so much?

It's FREE FREE FREE for single women and M/F couples. All you have to do is bring a woman and you get in free. Many swing parties don't even allow single men and there are some clubs in San Diego that charge single men $80.00 dollars AND they charge couples so we feel $40.00 is very fair. If you take a date to dinner and a movie you're gonna spend more than 40 bucks.

Where does the money go?

It goes to pay the costs of the party, party supplies, house costs and the website that presents the party; BBWKisses,com. The house in Spring Valley is awesome and the owner, Amanda, is constantly making improvements. For instance a few months ago she bought a pool table for the house. We also have co-hosts sometimes who help greet and set-up and we give them gas money. We also pay someone to work the door. No one is getting rich throwing these parties and if you go and you see lots of women and couples, which you will, remember they all got in free. It's great that so many awesome women and couples choose to attend our parties. Some guys even bring 2 or 3 girls. So thanks to the single men who help cover the costs of the party!

Well, I think everyone should donate.

Well then you should throw your own party and do it that way. But at our parties women and couples will ALWAYS be free.

Is there a military or student discount?

Unfortunately, there is not. We love students and we love military but if you can't afford the donation we prefer you find a friend to bring and then you'll get in free!

Can I come check out the party and if I like it and decide to stay then I'll donate.

Can you go to a movie, watch the first hour and then decide if you want to pay?

I'm really poor and I don't know anyone and I'm dying to come to the party.

Ok, enough already, write to me privately. If you are willing to help us seriously promote the party and the website we might be able to help you out. Write to me at

So how does it work when I arrive?

You will be greeted warmly by the door host, probably with a hug. You will have your donation ready and hand it to the host at the door. You will come in and people will introduce themselves to you and hopefully you will introduce yourself as well.

I'm very shy.

Well get over it. We want you to have fun. This is not a party for shy people, Everyone is very nice.

What is the dress code?

You can wear whatever you want. You can get naked if you want. You can wear sweat pants or a tuxedo. Wear whatever makes you feel comfortable. But please wear clean clothes. Sometimes we do theme parties like Western Night or Pajama Night but you don't have to dress up unless you want to.

Can I take photos?

Only if you and the person in the photo agree.

Are there webcams at the party? You don't record us do you?

No, there are no webcams or secret recordings.

Can you send me some photos or videos from the parties?

Are you paying attention? We don't take photos or videos of our guests!

How often do you do parties?

Twice a month in Spring Valley. The 2nd and 4th Friday of each month. 9PM - 2AM.

I thought they were on Saturdays. Why the change to Fridays?

Cause I oversee the parties and the website and I need to be at the parties to make sure everything is running smoothly and everyone is happy. I'm developing a sex club in Los Angeles called Club Sex Addict on Saturday nights and I can't be in two places at one time.

Do you do BBW events at Club Sex Addict?

Yes we are developing some. You can find out more at 

Where is Spring Valley?

10 miles from downtown San Diego.

Is each party the same? 

No, every party is totally different. Parties have different hosts, different events, different themes and different people. Just like a snowflake, no two parties are the same.

If I get tired can I spend the night?

No. It's a party not a hotel.

Can I stop by and check out the house on a day when there's no party?

No, absolutely not. Only come to the house during party dates and times. Showing up at the house unannounced will get you banned from the parties.

I went to a party once and met a woman and we exchanged numbers but she never called me back so I texted her and told her she was a bitch. The women at your parties aren't like that are they?

If we ever heard that you treated one of our guests rudely at a party or on the website or even via text we we would ban you from both. We are a no-drama group. People who engage in drama get banned. No one is owed anything or entitled to anything other than respect. You might meet an awesome person at a party and even have sex with them but for them it was a one-time thing. Get over it. Move on. Jealousy and insecurity are not good personality traits to bring in to the swing/sex party lifestyle.

So who are you?

May name is Ronnie aka Admin on I run the parties and the sites.

What is

It's a website for BBW's and their admirers.

Can I join?

Yes. You should. Lots of people who go to the parties are on the site. It's a great thing cause you can join, meet people on the site and then meet in person or at a party. Or vice versa. Or you can find a woman who needs a ride to the party, bring her and get in free.

So, Ronnie, can we hook up?

No. I am a male and I'm gay and I'm in a monogamous relationship.

You're not a BBW?

No. I'm a guy and I'm gay.

Um, I'm not really cool with gay people.

Then don't come to the party.

Why is a gay guy running a website and party for BBW's?

Because I have many BBW friends. I started this whole thing for them and now I have even more great friends and you will, too, if you come to the party.

You're not gonna hit on me are you?

No. I'm monogamous. My boyfriend would have me killed. And let me add, having a monogamous  gay guy running this thing is perfect cause I'm not looking for sex or a relationship. My only concern is that EVERYONE have a great time at the party and on the website.

Do other gay guys go to the party.

Some of the women are openly bi but no we don't really get single gay men coming to the party though maybe some of the men are bi. We don't interview our guests and we embrace everyone. But now I'm repeating myself. Any other questions?

So it's your house?

No, the house belongs to Amanda.

Who is Amanda? Another gay guy? A BBW?

LOL No on both counts, sorry. Amanda is an awesome co-host who loves the BBW community and embraces everyone. She has been kind enough to open her house to us. You'll meet her at the parties. She's super nice.

Will she have sex with me?

Probably not. But she'll let you have sex in her house during a party. That's pretty cool, right?

You say everyone is welcome at the parties but I'm 74. Will I really be welcome?

You'll be welcome if you're 94! All ages over 18 are embraced and welcome.

I'm 18 but I look young. Can I come?

You better bring some good ID cause if you look youngish we will card you. Our parties are 100% legal and always will be!

So if I can't make it to the party can you set me up with someone?

No. I only play matchmaker at the party. But you can join and meet people that way.

Can I ask one more thing?

No, what more could you possibly want to know? Just come to the party!

Is there parking?


Does it start right at 9PM?


Does it end right at 2AM?


Can I come at 1AM?


Do I have to sign up?


Do I need to RSVP?


Can I bring some non-alcoholic drinks or maybe some food?


I'm rich, can I donate more at the party?

Hell yes!

I'm rich, can you help me spend my money?

Yes! We need a huge jacuzzi at the party? Want to buy us one?

What else do you need?

What do you have? We want this to be the most awesome party house ever!

I don't live in the area but I would like to start parties in my area. Can you help?

Yes, write to

I live in the area and I have an outgoing personality. I would love to host or co-host. I have lots of fun ideas!

That is awesome. Let's talk about it. It's not a paying job or anything. You just do it for fun. But we could give you gas money if you need. We are looking for people to help make these parties as awesome as they can possibly be! 

Do you have any pet peeves.

Yes, I hate when I see a guy have sex with three different people and then complain it was a "slow party". SERIOUSLY??? 

I'm a woman with no interest in party sex but I want to come socialize? Is that okay???

YES! YES! YES! This party is for you. Come hang out. No pressure. Meet new friends! Join us!

Ok, one last question.

Nope, no more, done. Just come to the party,

You can get party info at or

See you at a party!

Admin aka Ronnie

  I really have to admire the hutzpah it takes to run something like this.  whew.  I wonder if they make money?  I wonder if any business deals are conducted here?  
  When I imagine running a place like that I see confrontations.  I see fights in the parking lots and someone having to deal with the thugs and bullies.  I see too many people.  But as a fantasy it is a fun one.  If only life was not so scary and tough.
 I know Mae West didn't take any guff in her establishments or her movie roles.  She knew the power she had and she wanted us all to know that she meant business.  At the same time she was very vulnerable and beautiful.  
It is hard for me to watch the videos of Mae West as an older woman.  She was tired.  That part of Mae West is in me too. I'm not going to the party. Too old.
Thanks Mae for the courage to be strong and independent and to have fun and be smart too even if it is only in the movies.   You rocked.

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Interesting stuff.

Personally, I'm more of an AshleyMadison type. One-on-ones and geared towards friends-with-benefits attitudes, not one-and-done bang-fests.

Still, I don't begrudge anyone who's into that scene as long as everyone is happy and safe.
It really is a beautiful world, if you know where to look
The ads, of course can be a rare challenge, How about a simple slogan.

"Tired of getting screwed? Let us change your viewpoint."
It appears that the world of swingers has changed very little over the past forty years... that ad and FQA could have been written in 1972. Like JSR I'm more of a one on one kinda guy but I do admit that I played in some threesomes and foursomes in my day... now I'm feeling to damn old to deal with that kind of complexity.
Did see Geisha in Japan. It was interesting. I don't understand the Tea ritual...but it was lovely to watch. Actually kind of slow. I would not have made a good Geisha.... Very interesting post Zanelle. An intellectual gathering place for cats and chats.
Love what he said about nice people at the party, really that's all I want, be nice and have fun. Ronnie is incredibly patient.
Wish you'd go and report back.
tempting tempting
What Myriad said. ~r
Z, your description of an "intellectual cathouse" is almost identical to an establishment depicted in the made-for-TV movie "Harrison Bergeron," based on a short story by Kurt Vonnegut. In this futuristic dystopian movie, the establishment is known as a "head house," and it features games of chess and discussions of quantum physics with brainy women. The film deserves to be much better known than it is.
(chuckle) "head house" ... bet the guys from Big Bang Theory would love that
Head House....Ill have to look into that!
I commented on your second life post.
lolololololol. Only on the west coast for sure. That's not to say it doesn't happen here. I was actually invited to a swingers party here in the early 90's. Actually I was invited to a birthday party with some friends I met that were parents from my kids pre-k and I only realized it was a swingers party half way through. And I thought I had seen everything. I think the country would be a lot better if everyone were able to be so open.
It's funny, but I have always thought of you as the Mae West of OS. Strong, independent and smart. You rock, zanelle!
Was that Q&A real? Wow. Sound like fun parties. Not sure I'd go, either. Maybe. Oh well, no chance of it here, anyway.