I had wanted to get one of my gayer songs posted in time for gay pride. For those of you who have been following the recent story of my health problems, it's kind of a minor miracle that I actually got one recorded. My voice came back 2 days ago, and though it kind of hurt the various stitches and wounds to sing, it felt good to get something done.
Gay pride means a lot to me. I came out later in life, and just getting myself to my first gay pride parade 13 years ago at the age of 40 was powerful and healing. These days, I'm proud that I made it to where I am, that I'm out and comfortable with who I am. It took a lot of work, believe me. I'm proud of every gay person I've gotten to know, and of all the great straight people in my life who support me.
This song is about the first time I went to Metropolitan Community Church in San Francisco. From the moment I sat down, I didn't quite know what to think of it all. There were rainbow flags everywhere, and a rainbow cross in front. I felt uncomfortable, and was a bit freaked out. But this was early in the coming out process, and most gay things had that effect on me. But somewhere during the service, a change happened inside.
It took a whole bunch of little changes like that to bring me to where I am today. This song is about a piece of the process of building my gay pride. I am thankful for all the help and support I found along the way.
Happy Gay Pride everyone!!
rainbow cross
he went to the gay church
to meet men
he thought he'd find
someone better
someone kind
he laughed at the rainbow cross
with shame
still he found himself singing
just the same
then he found himself crying
as they prayed
he never thought
that god could be
believed or sought
and he laughed at the rainbow cross
with joy
to find these things he thought he'd lost
it was a moment of transformation
he found a piece of healing for himself
even though it could never be enough
to fill the pain
something inside him changed
he laughs at the rainbow cross
he prays at the rainbow cross
he believes at the rainbow cross
he finds hope...
kevin army
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Livia Ellis
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Comments
I love you and HAPPY GAY PRIDE WEEKEND.
hugggggggggg
.....so beautiful, so open, so honest. I can only imagine the effort this one took, Kevin, knowing you are still healing. I loved it. I absolutely loved it.
I was moved by these words the most:
it was a moment of transformation
he found a piece of healing for himself
even though it could never be enough
to fill the pain
something inside him changed
Beautiful. Happy Gay Pride Weekend.
Lschmoopie- you are always too kind! Thank you so much!!
R