YSERBA

writings, ramblings, songs, whatever...

Kevin Army

Kevin Army
Location
Oakland, California, United States
Birthday
August 19
Title
Executor
Company
Yserba
Bio
Formerly posing as Yserba Berrington, now just posing as myself. In a former life I worked on music creatively for a living. Now I'm a hardworking slacker and occasional writer for no money at all, and I like it that way. I post fiction, ramblings, songs, photos, videos, whatever I feel moved to do. I'm kind of directionless. Welcome!

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JUNE 24, 2011 10:54AM

Gay Pride, and the Rainbow Cross

Rate: 6 Flag

 

I had wanted to get one of my gayer songs posted in time for gay pride. For those of you who have been following the recent story of my health problems, it's kind of a minor miracle that I actually got one recorded. My voice came back 2 days ago, and though it kind of hurt the various stitches and wounds to sing, it felt good to get something done.

Gay pride means a lot to me. I came out later in life, and just getting myself to my first gay pride parade 13 years ago at the age of 40 was powerful and healing. These days, I'm proud that I made it to where I am, that I'm out and comfortable with who I am. It took a lot of work, believe me. I'm proud of every gay person I've gotten to know, and of all the great straight people in my life who support me.

This song is about the first time I went to Metropolitan Community Church in San Francisco. From the moment I sat down, I didn't quite know what to think of it all. There were rainbow flags everywhere, and a rainbow cross in front. I felt uncomfortable, and was a bit freaked out. But this was early in the coming out process, and most gay things had that effect on me. But somewhere during the service, a change happened inside.

It took a whole bunch of little changes like that to bring me to where I am today. This song is about a piece of the process of building my gay pride. I am thankful for all the help and support I found along the way.

Happy Gay Pride everyone!!

 

rainbow cross

 

he went to the gay church

to meet men

he thought he'd find

someone better

someone kind

 

he laughed at the rainbow cross

with shame

still he found himself singing

just the same

 

then he found himself crying

as they prayed

he never thought

that god could be

believed or sought

 

and he laughed at the rainbow cross

with joy

to find these things he thought he'd lost

 

it was a moment of transformation

he found a piece of healing for himself

even though it could never be enough

to fill the pain

something inside him changed

 

he laughs at the rainbow cross

he prays at the rainbow cross

he believes at the rainbow cross

he finds hope...

 

kevin army

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kevin: last year I did a post and dedicated it to you for Gay Pride. This whole piece made me cry.
I love you and HAPPY GAY PRIDE WEEKEND.
hugggggggggg
Thanks Linda! Big huggggggggggggggg back!!
Happy Gay Pride Weekend, Yserba! It can be a rough road, with those who will deny us who we truly are to prove something to themselves, but the journey of remaining true to oneself...is sooo worth it. xox
Excuse me for a moment while I grab a tissue to wipe the tears...
.....so beautiful, so open, so honest. I can only imagine the effort this one took, Kevin, knowing you are still healing. I loved it. I absolutely loved it.
I was moved by these words the most:

it was a moment of transformation

he found a piece of healing for himself

even though it could never be enough

to fill the pain

something inside him changed

Beautiful. Happy Gay Pride Weekend.
Robin- Thanks- Happy Gay Pride to you too!! I like your phrase "the journey of remaining true to oneself". You are so right, it can be a rough road, but it can be very rewarding.
Lschmoopie- you are always too kind! Thank you so much!!
Kevin it is so wonderful to hear your beautiful voice again singing such a beautiful song! I am so glad that you are feeling stronger. Happy Gay Pride weekend to you! It is time to hold your head up high my friend!
R
It's good to hear you creating, singing and recording following your operation. We each have our own stories and journeys so thanks for sharing your personal experience in words and song. Glad that you eventually came out -- better later than never. Happy Pride, Kevin.