Last week you entered my home, uninvited, while my family slept, unaware of your intrusion.  In your search to fund your addiction, you helped yourself to my most personal items.  I really enjoyed waking up that morning and playing Marco Polo with my missing purse, which, by the way, is rat/… Read full post »

As a parent of children in elementary school I deal with daily pick-up and drop-off car lines, which are enough to make the soberest of judges crave vodka for breakfast.  Every morning three students and one adult are positioned in front of the school, along the covered sidewalk, where they meet/… Read full post »

To look at me today, you would not suspect that I have ever struggled with an eating disorder.  Nothing about my body suggests undernourishment; even my hair is full-figured.  Strangers might think my issue leans more toward overindulgence.  The truth is not a day passes that I don't t/… Read full post »

Before I began working as an assistant/caregiver to senior citizens, I knew the job would be challenging at times.  After all, older folks can be stubborn, impatient, and set in their ways, right?  Those things do not bother me and I expect them to some degree.  Sure, we have stressful/… Read full post »

Arthur is one of several seniors for whom I am a personal assistant.  Trips to the grocery store for him are becoming routine for me, since he pretty much buys the same things in the same quantities over and over.  He goes through jars of pimento cheese spread faster than a/… Read full post »

Being a personal assistant to senior citizens has provided me with more than a glimpse into their private business.  In fact, there are times when I think I should have been asked to sign a confidentiality agreement.  The thing is, I don't pry into anyone's life.  I do not ask.  M/… Read full post »

The first time I cleaned at Arthur's place I found myself underequipped for the job at hand and overwhelmed by the enormity of the job itself.  I stood alone in the kitchen (Arthur high-tailed it) and once again took in the sight of a room that looked like it had been/… Read full post »

With gas prices rising like summertime hemlines, and my income remaining at a pitiful level, my wallet was becoming more and more tight-lipped. It seemed to cringe and back away each time I reached for it in search of cash. After sorting sofa lint from change for the third time in… Read full post »

Every weekday afternoon I wait in line to pick up my twin boys after school, and each day they greet me with a golden nugget from their school day. Kindergarten can be full of drama. Some recaps are happy, some are teary, and some just leave me flat-out speechless.… Read full post »

Over the last two years, my mother’s car has been resuscitated more times than a soap opera star with a negotiable contract.  Someone should have told my mom to sign a DNR order for her car at the time of purchase, which may have spared her the expense, along with the… Read full post »

Like most people who are my age and older, I would say that my mind feels as young as it did twenty years ago (only smarter and with a rapidly deteriorating memory).  I still enjoy the same music, still talk too much and too fast, and I still have the same/… Read full post »

Some residents in my immediate area believe me to be a Jack Hannah, of sorts.  The neighborhood children love to show up at my house with news of a lost puppy, orphaned kitten, or worse, the beast itself.  They know that I will either take in the stray, try to… Read full post »

In one month, I will celebrate my fortieth birthday.  I don’t expect a big party to take place, but should it happen, I expect to be able to see it.  Up until yesterday, I haven’t questioned the quality of my eyesight to a large degree.  My prescriptions for glasses and con… Read full post »

Southern winters generally run mild, but this year Mother Nature did not receive the memo.  For the fifth time this winter, I’m popping Ativan like Tic-Tacs and wishing for vodka as I watch the snow accumulate on my moonshine stills and dog pens, here in Deliveranceville.   That… Read full post »

My state has a fifth season.  Hunting season.  We have people hunting deer, ducks, hogs, squirrels, rabbits, turkeys, and whatever else has fur or feathers around here.  It amazes me that I ever see road kill anymore.  That dead possum I saw last week must have fallen out of the b… Read full post »

At this time last year, I was breaking free from the grip of a depression, during which time I discovered writing.  The bug bit me then, and hasn't let go yet.  With the support of readers, writers, friends, and family, I find myself sitting at the computer each day… Read full post »

Before getting into the meat of this piece, so to speak, I felt it best to post a disclaimer for the sake of clarity:

**The following information in no way represents the writer’s personal life. Whatsoever, people. Writer claims no responsibility for any less-than-satisfying experiences, break… Read full post »

Sometimes I wish the filter between my brain and my mouth worked as intended, to quality check thoughts before my lips expel them.   Mostly, I hope a filter even exists in there.  Something needs to kick in and have veto power over my mouth.  I must have won the barebones model/… Read full post »

Once word gets out in these parts of even a possibility of snow or ice in the forecast, Borden's dairy cows run for cover.  The demand for milk and bread here rises faster than the national debt.  I spent most of my childhood in the New England area, where the mention… Read full post »

I don't know of a man alive who would argue that almost everything about women is complex. From our families and jobs, to our health and relationships, we can complicate just about anything. Ask our therapists. However, to our female brains, things seem simple. Take our friendships with other women.… Read full post »

I speak from the hearts of parents everywhere when I say the annual Christmas school break should be outlawed, especially if foul weather is so much as a twinkle in God's eye during the scheduled time frame. No wonder suicides rates rise during Christmastime. It's the kids! Having four of them… Read full post »

We have a policy regarding teenage boys and my daughter.  A strict policy of no touching (unless a life is being saved), and with good reason.  Not that we can do a whole lot to enforce it, but we do pay close attention to our daughter's life.  As a former teenager,/… Read full post »

Like so many seekers out there, I began job hunting not too long ago.  One thing I noticed right away is how many companies ask that you apply for employment online.  I went into a local business about two months ago and saw a sign posted, listing their current employment opportunities,/… Read full post »

Yes, I know, I'm a butt about Christmas. No, it's not from deep childhood issues. I just have a reputation to uphold. I do listen to Christmas music when no one's around, but don't tell my kids. They'll expect presents. I wrote this to the tune… Read full post »

Polygamy in our country seems to get a lot of attention on television.  After watching a recent Oprah show, where a popular polygamist and his wives were guests, my thinking changed.  There may be some key benefits I have overlooked.   Cranky Cuss and I have written some things to… Read full post »