This darned post has wings!

She was probably President Bush's press secretary.

Awesome. I've never bought Always, but I just might have to. Who wouldn't like to experience the sensation of a tiny F16 in their panties. Sounds positively exhilarating.

LMAO! I've never had to "jack myself up on Motrin and Kahlua"
Usually two aleve and an hour of good thrashing around makes me feel better.

If only orgasms could cure a fever, shit.

Pawed, this is great!

I would have loved to heard his response. I don't use pads too often, so I missed this little tidbit.

This is great. You found a letter that put words to the feelings I had when I heard the "Have a Happy Period" ad campaign. Very funny.

Too funny. Amazingly, I just read a student paper that purported to be a rhetorical analysis of an ad for Always, "Have a happy period" and all. A serviceable enough undergrad paper--meaning tries hard but lacks real insight--how I would just LOVE to send this piece to that student. Unfortunately, sending something to a students that refers to testicles and a George Foreman grill in the same sentence might get me hauled in front of some tribunal.

I used to have underwear that in the crotch said "today is the first day of the rest of your life". Man, I just wanted to pee, not get all existential in the stall.

Thanks for posting this. Too funny!!!

rated

Who came up with the term wings? You don't exactly feel like flying? Who was the genius that started using punctuation to symbolize the menstrual cycle? We all could go on and on.

Hilarious.

I don't what's worse -- a post on a "feminine hygiene product" or my commenting on same

fabulous...

rated.

velina funny maybe not thank you xox

This was absolutely hilarious and I just loved it..Rated.

Gosh darn it! Another "women are crazy bitches and whores" post!! And by a woman? You really bought into our male-controlled society's male-centric myths, didn't you? "The curse"?!!!! Are you kidding me?!!! God, women are so disappointing!!

When my wife came home, I told her, "God bless menopause."
She didn't think I was funny.

you go, girl! R

love the letter...thx for sharing this great piece with us

Ok.. now that was funny. Thanks for that... I guess now we know ;-)

Awww, c'mon. You ladies find this ridiculously exaggerated "female kamikaze on her period" image funny? It's just another ploy playing into advertisement's imagination. Caricaturize the typical menstruating female like this, Procter & Gamble will snatch it- why not? It sells their product !

My God that was hilarious. I can't quit laughing....excellent work...

I thank you and my daughter thanks you. Great post!

Thanks for posting this! I laughed pretty hard... I would buy a feminine product whose tagline is "Vehicular Manslaughter is wrong"; sometimes I need that reminder.

Somebody needs to keep an eye on Wendi Aarons. Seriously!

OK, seriously, you need to consider more medication than Motrin. May be pre-menstral psychosis, not simply PMS.

The fact that Always hopes to help women have "happy periods" is not to say that they think periods are a fun time, but that they hope their products will help things not be so irritating and messy.

Get over it.

Thanks for sharing that article. Very entertaining on an overcast, cold day in Minn. Familiar with Second Chance dog rescue, glad to see someone else cares about the neglected. New to OS.

Word has it the Thatcher did not hatch the offending phrase; it was some Harvard MBA Marketing hotshot who happened to be a woman. R

finally taught sweet hubs that ALWAYS on the label should be read as NEVER. Those freakin wings are supposed to stick to the underwear, not the hair. ****blushes****

Okay that was awesome.

to soap box amy- you're a psych major aren't you. seriously? even though you obviously have very limited social opportunities even you must read or watch some type of electronic media. women actually do get a tiny bit manic in the days before "the visit". I guess you also have never read the definition of sarcasm. I thought that letter was pretty spot on. get out and get a life amy...if that's you're real name...you sure it's not andy??? Oh, who said anything about whores? do you have other issues too... go outside and wave to a neighbor or something.

Anyone who comments on this and is angry about it rather than amused definitely has never actually experienced "the curse." If your menstruation consists of 3 measly days and a few drops of uterine lining: Leave. Now. I cried laughing at this because this is EXACTLY how I feel once a month and have for the past 10 years. Don't even dare say this is ridiculous or fake. I can actually believe there may be a woman out there who actually wrote this with the utmost sincerity. If I wasn't curled up in the fetal position crying every time I had my period, I would have written it myself.

Oh, I couldn't stop laughing! Thank you!

BTW, anyone who thinks this is over-exaggerating, I invite you to hang out with my sister the week before her period. Then we'll talk.

She's just awesome, I love her suggestions 'Put down the Hammer' indeed.

When I see something on the Internet that labels itself an "actual letter," I think "yeah, right." But, whatever, it is funny.

Not to offend anybody, the world needs variety after all, but personally, I find that the inconvenience or discomfort of a monthly period is easily offset by my gratitude that I am a woman. Have you seriously considered the alternative? Men are great to have around, but I wouldn't want to live like that.

Actually, Wendi Aarons is a comedic writer (and not a very good one) .

http://wendiaarons.com/about

While I bet she wrote this, I doubt it actually surfaced from the email vault of Proctor and Gamble themselves as that would be a betrayal to their customers who give them feedback. More likely, Wendi wrote this and it's origins have become an internet myth.

Exactly!

Some of you need to take a lesson in hyperbole, a literary device to emphasize a point (when used correctly, vis a vis, above). This is HILARIOUS!! Who does have a happy period? tolerable...perhaps ignorable...but no one is happy. I'm sorry, just doesn't happen. I'm happy about laying on the beach or having a glass of wine. My period? No, that's not the emotion that comes to mind.

LoL!!!! I really enjoyed this article--it's really a parody on their marketing skill, not meant to reflect on women s a group.
Cramps so bad I had to barf, and couldn't move. Every time. No. Not "happy". Nor funny, for that matter. But your work here is that hilarious, i'm going to share it. people have to hear about this.
Rated

Ha! This is funny. Rated, Girl!

Your 100% right, to darn funny to change a word!

this is so funny! I loved it. I'm a new writer here, though not a new writer, and I love funny writing, so thanks for the smile. I look forward to reading more. Hope you can take time to check out some of my posts sometime. Would love some feedback from the really read writers on Open salon. Thanks, Alicia

My husband and I laughed so much. It is ironic considering 2 weeks ago he sustained injuries when I ran him over with my menstrual cycle!!! The injuries were painful ears from all of my ranting, cramped legs from walking around on eggshells, and a bruised thought process because nothing is ever right when Bid Red is is town. Thanks so much for this post, we got reached our giggle potential for the day!

LMAO - still laughing now - too funny :o)

Too funny. I hate those wings anyway. The adhesive gets stuck in my pubic hair and then I'm REALLY psycho!

Drunken chimps indeed...maybe spider monkeys on crack.

Too funny... I would love to see them print "vehicular manslaughter is wrong". But, I have a "left field" question for you - why the hell are people using comment space on your blog to sell things?

this is so funny! I loved it. I love funny writing, so thanks for the smile. I look forward to reading more. Hope you can take time to check out some of my posts sometime. Would love some feedback from the really read writers on Open salon

Hair Transplant, Hair Restoration, San Diego Hair Transplant,Los Angeles Hair Restoration.

Hi, First time comment. Now ladies, do you really think a man was responsible for that "Happy Period?" As a sensitive man; I resent the implication, that a Man would be so thoughtless; so there.

LoL!!!! I really enjoyed this article--it's really a parody on their marketing skill, not meant to reflect on women s a group.

Hair Transplant, Hair Restoration, San Diego Hair Transplant,Los Angeles Hair Restoration.

LOL! This woman is hilarious.

If that's what she can produce when Aunt Flo is on her way, and she is having her cramps, just imagine what would she write on other days of the month. F-16 wouldn't be enough. She would have the wings of the Discovery.

This is hysterical? I'm not quite so amused. Of course Thatcher is to blame - he's a man. Men don't understand women. They can't understand women. Women have it just sooooo hard and men have it sooooo easy. That's what this letter screams. There are a few righteous ladies above me, well-intentioned and calling this piece out for the stereotype it portrays. Fact is Mr. Thatcher probably didn't come up with the campaign. Fact is that it's just an ad campaign that tries to make it seem that you can be comfortable at "that time of the month". And furthermore, to FusunA, I seriously doubt this little display has been in any way encouraged or perpetuated by Procter & Gamble. I don't think this sells their product; this is a pretty intense (albeit humorous) criticism. The unfortunate thing is that you can't please Feminists here. Men don't understand what it's like to have a period, fine. But men also exploit these attitudes to sell a product? Maybe in some cases, but probably not in this one. I don't know why it's not enough that society has begun tailoring itself to women now. And it's men doing it, too. But of course, that makes women inherently unequal, right? Please.

Well she certainly did have happier periods - until she read the message.

This all thing is funny, the post and the comments.
The all comments combined will make one funny post.
This is a winner.
Is today first of April?

Krankies Ink. is a line of products and apparel that finally gives a humorous voice to the ridiculousness and misery of “that time of the month”. It is being able to wear what you want to tell a friend, or scream at a boyfriend or husband. Women of all ages will immediately identify with Krankies. Our clothing is comfy and is a great gift for those we know and love. Finally a product that will comfort you, let you know your not alone, express how you feel, make you laugh, and sympathize with those darn Kranky Daze!!!


krankygurlz@krankies.net

or call

951-547-1837


Do YOU have an Idea for a new "Kranky Quote" tell us what it is and we may use it on an upcoming design. Post your comments and ideas now.
This idea came about when we noticed that in our opinion, feminine hygiene commercials had taken a turn for the RIDICULOUS. We felt as though commercials were taking an already somewhat awkward subject (and for what reason) adding singing, dancing, cartwheels and more to encourage women to be “happy” about “that time of the month.” I mean I know they need to advertise, but I never thought I would see the day when I would be relaxing in front of the TV and suddenly out of nowhere a pad would be riding a simulated bull, become a rollercoaster, or even worse, save the day of sunbathers by plugging up a leaking water tower! I wouldn’t be surprised at the announcement of the Feminine Hygiene Network popping up on my cable tv lineup. So exasperated by these painfully unclever commercials the idea for www.Krankies Ink. was born!!!


The Official Kranky Daze Headquarters

I can read the hormons working. Luckily I can't experience menstrual period too.
http://www.lifestyle-after50.com/anti-aging.html

LOL!!!!! This woman has voiced what every other female in the U.S. is thinking, especially the bit about that horrid "have a happy period" slogan. Loved this! Rated, with laughs.

Wow thought this to be informative,delightful and ooooh so true. Really enjoyed reading. Sara http://www.singlesdatingplan.com/blog

Good for her! I concur.
For the record Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps.

The idea for Krankies came about when we noticed that in our opinion, feminine hygiene ads had taken a turn for the RIDICULOUS! Feeling as though commercials were taking an already awkward subject (and for what reason?) adding singing, dancing, cartwheels and more to make that time of the month appear to be a “Happy”.

Ok, they need to advertise, but I never thought I would be relaxing in front of the tv with my husband and suddenly out of nowhere a pad would be riding a simulated bull, become a roller coaster, or even worse, save the day of sunbathers by plugging up a leaking water tower! These ads appear so often I wouldn’t be surprised at the announcement of the Feminine Hygiene Network popping up on my cable tv lineup! So exasperated by these painfully unclever commercials the idea for Krankies Ink. was born!

Our cute & comfy Krankies ink. apparel and products, designed using feel good fabrics of American Apparel and Fruit of the Loom with your comfort in mind express the misery being shared by women in every home, office high school and dorm around the world. Maybe your Mom shared the facts of life with you but, did she tell you that once a month you should put up danger signs for innocent by standers?

So to all you Kranky gurlz out there you know who you are. Treat yourself or someone you love to krankies, and UNITE with Kranky gurlz around the world!


KRANKIES INK. is a line of products and apparel that finally gives a humorous voice to the ridiculousness and misery of “that time of the month” It is being able to wear what you want to tell a friend, or scream at a boyfriend or husband. Women everywhere will identify with Krankies. Our clothing is comfy and is a great gift for those you know and love. At last products that will comfort you, let you know, your not alone, and express how you feel during those darn KRANKY DAZE!!!

http://www.krankiesink.com/category/kranky-daze-stories/

http://krankies.net/Welcome.html

The idea for Krankies came about when we noticed that in our opinion, feminine hygiene ads had taken a turn for the RIDICULOUS! Feeling as though commercials were taking an already awkward subject (and for what reason?) adding singing, dancing, cartwheels and more to make that time of the month appear to be a “Happy”.

Ok, they need to advertise, but I never thought I would be relaxing in front of the tv with my husband and suddenly out of nowhere a pad would be riding a simulated bull, become a roller coaster, or even worse, save the day of sunbathers by plugging up a leaking water tower! These ads appear so often I wouldn’t be surprised at the announcement of the Feminine Hygiene Network popping up on my cable tv lineup! So exasperated by these painfully unclever commercials the idea for Krankies Ink. was born!

Our cute & comfy Krankies ink. apparel and products, designed using feel good fabrics of American Apparel and Fruit of the Loom with your comfort in mind express the misery being shared by women in every home, office high school and dorm around the world. Maybe your Mom shared the facts of life with you but, did she tell you that once a month you should put up danger signs for innocent by standers?

So to all you Kranky gurlz out there you know who you are. Treat yourself or someone you love to krankies, and UNITE with Kranky gurlz around the world!


KRANKIES INK. is a line of products and apparel that finally gives a humorous voice to the ridiculousness and misery of “that time of the month” It is being able to wear what you want to tell a friend, or scream at a boyfriend or husband. Women everywhere will identify with Krankies. Our clothing is comfy and is a great gift for those you know and love. At last products that will comfort you, let you know, your not alone, and express how you feel during those darn KRANKY DAZE!!!

http://www.krankiesink.com/category/kranky-daze-stories/

http://krankies.net/Welcome.html

Velina, it looks like people are spamming your comments up with links to their websites!!

This has to be the craziest letter I have ever read! LOL

Best,
Li

"Happy Period" has to be the TOP oxymoron of the century

I understand what she means because I am a woman too but there is a moment in your life were you have to realize you are off the reservation when you decide to write a letter about female anatomy issues to a male!

I have never looked at the brand that helps me through a tough time as anything but a brand. To say that you are happy that there is a F16 in your pants.... seriously I don't think I can ever go buy maxi-pads without having that image in my head.

WOW!WOW!WOW!

good letter, good point of view.

Hahah, women

I love this article Absolutely priceless. I'm going to share this with my girlfriends.

Al
http://www.dancesalsaintoronto.com

Funny. Maybe not totally true, but funny.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/always.asp

I bet she's on the no fly list.lol

Oh, Mr Belle,
We here know about that site however, we don't need to be made to climb someone's upturned nose in order to be talked down to.
The entire thing was funny for the rest of us without the link to snopes.
Okay?

Bloody hell!!! This poor woman needs a padded cell.

Per Snopes.com, this is an urban legend. Letter was never sent.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/always.asp

HI-larious - thanks for the chance to LOL

After having major surgery for cancer
I no longer need these things with wings

But Tena is a daily need
After Surgeons knife I did need
Always make these pads too
But Tena's best I think is True

x x x Well Done X x X

Bloody hilarious, Luv.

I cringed with all the sympathy I could imagine.

Rated, Liked, Linked.

thanks!!! for making me smile to myself that way.
i really liked this post :)
How to Attract Ladies

Years of headache,anxiety and overblown emotions contained in one hilarious, although bloated letter. Thanks for great laughs and am grateful that I can laugh now.

The "Have a happy period" is referring to the fact that some young women in 3rd world countries are looked at as evil or whores just for starting or having their period. They are shunned during this time. Some are not allowed to go to school while having their period. Having a happy period is saying to these women that its ok to be a woman and have a period- that its totally natural and normal. P and G sends thousands of always pads to these young girls and women so they dont have to use cotton, or actual rags, or their shirt while menstruating.

you weren't kidding when you said she 'gets rolling'

Oh my!!! Thank God for pen and paper!! I think this woman just successfully prevented a few homocides!!

Awesome! I have often thought of writing a letter about the imbecilic "Have a Happy Period" campaign. Rated.

Don't have my lady bits anymore, but I remember those good ol' days, sure! Very funny!

This made my day.

This reminds me of my favorite gynecologist. He had a piece of paper pared to the ceiling above the dreaded sirups table. It said, in very. Tiny letters, "I'm out of hormones, ad I have a gun! It never failed to make me laugh!

This reminds me of my favorite gynecologist. He had a piece of paper pared to the ceiling above the dreaded sirups table. It said, in very. Tiny letters, "I'm out of hormones, ad I have a gun! It never failed to make me laugh!

This reminds me of my favorite gynecologist. He had a piece of paper pared to the ceiling above the dreaded sirups table. It said, in very. Tiny letters, "I'm out of hormones, ad I have a gun! It never failed to make me laugh!

This reminds me of my favorite gynecologist. He had a piece of paper pared to the ceiling above the dreaded sirups table. It said, in very. Tiny letters, "I'm out of hormones, ad I have a gun! It never failed to make me laugh!

This reminds me of my favorite gynecologist. He had a piece of paper pared to the ceiling above the dreaded sirups table. It said, in very. Tiny letters, "I'm out of hormones, ad I have a gun! It never failed to make me laugh!

This reminds me of my favorite gynecologist. He had a piece of paper pared to the ceiling above the dreaded sirups table. It said, in very. Tiny letters, "I'm out of hormones, ad I have a gun! It never failed to make me laugh!

This reminds me of my favorite gynecologist. He had a piece of paper pared to the ceiling above the dreaded sirups table. It said, in very. Tiny letters, "I'm out of hormones, ad I have a gun! It never failed to make me laugh!

This reminds me of my favorite gynecologist. He had a piece of paper pared to the ceiling above the dreaded sirups table. It said, in very. Tiny letters, "I'm out of hormones, ad I have a gun! It never failed to make me laugh!

This reminds me of my favorite gynecologist. He had a piece of paper pared to the ceiling above the dreaded sirups table. It said, in very. Tiny letters, "I'm out of hormones, ad I have a gun! It never failed to make me laugh!

a Christmas gift for my father, which one is better? http://www.newflybuy.com ...
there are a lot of products on sale. Which one is better for 48 years old mom? Handbag,glasses or biniki? Please help.

When I got to "Put down the hammer" - I just didn't think it could get any funnier. Or truer. Hilarious.

I'm still laughing about her having an F-16 in her pants! I realize this is an ancient post, but dear God I needed this laugh tonight and darn if it didn't appear out of nowhere! Happy New Year!

Still laughing....even the next day :)

No kidding....LAUGHED MY TUCHUS OFF!!!

I wish there was more time to read all (not Ale) these Post.

I just noticed . . . our from Ellicott City, Maryland. Great.

That's only a one hour and twenty minutes ride from here.

Robert H. Deluty and some old Friends I know live there.

I remember an 'Enchanted Forrest' and the 'Double T' eatery.

The 'Double T' diner makes one great Vegetable Egg Omelet.
`
cc

Rated A for effort. I once asked my mother why she referred to a period as "my friend. " (As in, "my friend is visiting.") She thought for about a second, and said, "Because sometimes you're glad to see it." She was a wise woman.

Remember when Blossom and Six had to decide which feminine hygiene combat gear to buy? Six was reading from a box that users could swim, play tennis, ride horseback, and she said, "Wow, this is better than camp!"
I remember when I taught elementary school and had bought a bargain brand. I kept hearing the rustling of gum wrappers and would whirl around trying to catch the fifth grader who dared to break the classroom injunction against Bubble Yum. Then I realized the rustling was coming from my own nether regions and the cheap maxi's plastic lining. Oy.

I think I was married to her once.

EXCELLENT...Best regards..

This post goes right along with the 'Boyfriend Cardigans' and 'Skinny Boyfriend' jeans being sold at Target a few weeks ago. I had it in my mind to write a scathing letter to them, but this one did the trick already!

My favorite part
"only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the viole nt urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps."

I just read this to my wife. She's still laughing.

That's effing amazing. :-)

"Aunt-Flo".. genius. HAHAHAHAAAA

the main theme of the The letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble has highlighted in this awesome post.
Paradise Valley Arizona

I have been away for two hours or more.
I swear. I visited sick, dismayed, wild-one,
(smile) and this ` Fun-Feed-Read` I saw:
`
You were on the Upper-Open-Salon ` Grub.
`
I have a Quaker History-Read` ref:` Ellicott City.
I noticed You are from ` Historic ` Ellicott City.
Fun...

run. All of you. Run!

I agree with Doug Socks.
Wear one red & one blue.
Run around the Red Mule.
`
I plan to email to poet:
`
Senyru` Robert H. Deluty.
You from a very nice Place.
Ellicott City - O! Memories.

You hit the nail on the head with this one..
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Great!
Greek!
Thanks.
Gratitude.
Gracious.
Cheer Up!
Big Smile.
`
I just never know?
Some days Joy, Ah!
Some days bad mood.
Ya take away melancholy.
I stooped off at the Farm.
Then I do a Tomato Run.
Thanks For Healing Fun.

Wow! Way to bash women! Men will absolutely drool over this! And I feel sorry for you, a woman brainwashed by a male-controlled society to hate your own body. I had horrible cramps, too, btw! Men are the perverts, the pedophiles, the serial killers, the warmongers, the violent, crazy ones (four women a day are murdered by their husbands, ex-husbands, boy friends, and ex-boy friends in this, the "greatest nation on earth"...that's a staggering figure...but, hey, we're all whores, anyway, right?) But women are crazy? Are you insane?!! Jerry SAnducky just brought down Penn State and Joe Petarno, for God's ake!! What if a woman had done that? Public burning at the stake, perhaps? What if nuns had done to the RCC what perverted priests did? Would burning at the stake even be good enough for such whores?!!!!

Your ignorance and acceptance of the status quo demonstrates the incredible success of brainwashing and conditioning, especially by the male-controlled media. Men not only control the media, but also the governments, the militaries, the courts, the professions, law enforcement, organized religions, colleges, universities, school boards, etc., and most of them are PERVERTS!!! But, yeah, thanks for reminding us what "hormonal whores" women are! Women like you shame and sadden me no end!!

You gotta be kidding me. I think I dated her once.