Dear Men,

If you are anything like me (I will pray for you), you most likely suffer from Fred Flintstone-itis. What is Fred Flintstone-itis?

It is a deadly disease which occurs during certain times of the month if you are involved in a relationship (committed or not) with a member of the opposite sex.

Fred Flintstone-itis is when all have to do is open your big fat mouth during those certain times of the month and BAM! You’re D.O.A. and headed to the County Morgue in a Hefty garbage bag (because the county is broke just like the rest of us).

There is no cure for this not so silent killer. The only remedy that I can think of is to read and heed the following chart. It will save your life. Seriously!

I urge all men who read this chart to print it, laminate it, and stick it in their empty wallet right next to the maxed-out credit cards and the expired driver’s license.

Better yet, have The Hormone Chart tattooed to your palm (shave first).

Or at least go out for a pack of cigarettes during those dreaded four days even if you don’t smoke.

The Hormone Chart

Full disclosure: This is one of those old e-mail jokes that I got the other day.