Arrive Alive!, Florida, USA
February 29
Open Salon Member since January 2009 ********************************* Sometimes serious, sometimes comical, always topical. =========================== A guy can dream and drown in a deluge of his own delusional thinking. Can't he? =========================== It is what it is until it no longer is, then it becomes something else.


OCTOBER 28, 2011 11:48AM

The Hormone Chart - Men, It will Save Your Life

Rate: 15 Flag


Dear Men,

If you are anything like me (I will pray for you), you most likely suffer from Fred Flintstone-itis. What is Fred Flintstone-itis?

It is a deadly disease which occurs during certain times of the month if you are involved in a relationship (committed or not) with a member of the opposite sex.

Fred Flintstone-itis is when all have to do is open your big fat mouth during those certain times of the month and BAM! You’re D.O.A. and headed to the County Morgue in a Hefty garbage bag (because the county is broke just like the rest of us).

There is no cure for this not so silent killer. The only remedy that I can think of is to read and heed the following chart. It will save your life. Seriously!

I urge all men who read this chart to print it, laminate it, and stick it in their empty wallet right next to the maxed-out credit cards and the expired driver’s license.

Better yet, have The Hormone Chart tattooed to your palm (shave first).

Or at least go out for a pack of cigarettes during those dreaded four days even if you don’t smoke.


The Hormone Chart

The Hormone Chart - Men, It Will Save Your Life

Full disclosure: This is one of those old e-mail jokes that I got the other day.


Your tags:


Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Recipient's email address:
Personal message (optional):

Your email address:


Type your comment below:
Trudge, I just showed this to The Redhead. One of us is in trouble.
Trudge: I would like to comment on the above, but I just heard someone yell (I'm sorry dear) I mean ASK for another glass of wine.
Boanerges, it can't be me I'm always in trouble.

Out, I hear Gallo is having a sale.
Jane, I'm glad you approved. Now give it to all the men in your life: past and present lovers, sons, brothers, etc.
Ha! great, wish my husband had been appraised of this chart, in fact still wish he was .... he is always in the dangerous column never seems to learn.. big service here Trudge.
Rita, I know; he shares that column with me. Some guys never learn.
This needs to be a solemn video PSA with relaxing music playing in the background....
The most dangerous line of all is "relax" someone could die after uttering that ...
Trudge- you should be a marital counselor! Wine makes women forget they don't care ....
I'll stick with the "safest" column - too many women I've been with get kuh-razee on that wine
Rita - you said it!

You really can't miss with the "wine" line at any time of the month. I'm just sayin'...
filling my trunk at Trader Joe's, thanks
Chiller, please don't put thoughts into my mind; it is not sanitzed.

Rita, true dat.

Oryoki, do you think I could get my license on life experiences alone?

noah, an intetesting point.

Keri, no cross talk on my blog ... I mean can I get you some wine? Chocolates?

Damon, the cheaper the better.

Susie, I'm glad you liked it.
A post of living dangerously
How did you know about what happened to me last night?
Ha! Just the lightness needed for a Saturday evening... : )
Tom, actually, a post for safe living.

Old New Lefty, Trudge knows all.

Just Thinking, I'm glad it made you smile, but this is serious stuff. : )
Yes, your post could help men live more safely -- but by posting it, you are living dangerously -- unless your single. Actually, I'm surprised more of the ladies of OS haven't jumped on you already
dear Trudge164

there is no time for this

gotta let you go

note: strike OS -whoring – one tag only -OWS
Tom, I like living dangerously. You are right. The OS ladies have been most kind so far.

Ume, okay.
Tom, I like living dangerously. You are right. The OS ladies have been most kind so far.

Ume, okay.
I would stick with the Safest category, it seems the most loving.
rated with love
Romantic, or the pack of smokes.
I'll take the paycheck over the wine any day :)
A. Walrond, you could sell the wine for more than what my take home pay is.
The most dangerous line of all is "relax" someone could die after uttering that.
java consulting