Life on Almosta Ranch

Stories of ranch life and other silly musings of an old codger

David McClain

David McClain
Location
Doniphan, Missouri, USA
Birthday
February 08
Bio
I am a simple man who has lived a simple life for sixty years. I have not dined with movie stars nor Kings and Queens. I have not walked the halls of power, nor have I been a mover and a shaker. I have, however, been a soldier, a tinker, a jack of all trades. I have raised five children....I have been loved and I have loved. I do not see grand designs nor do I chase afer them. Instead, I listen to the heartbeat of the land and I rejoice in a bird's song in the morning. Do not come here seeking answers for I have none. I do have questions which I will ask you constantly though. I do not believe in aruging so Politics will not be discussed in my blog. I do not care what your personal beliefs are for you are free to believe as you will...please allow me to do likewise. I have never been rich, but I have always been poor. Being poor however has never stopped me from feeling rich. I feel rich because I have the love of a good woman. Melinda completes me. She gives me the peace of mind and soul required to write about life without regrets and without envy of those who might have more. She is my world. Almosta Ranch is our heaven and we are happiy. This is what I want to share with you in this blog.

MY RECENT POSTS

David McClain's Links

Salon.com
AUGUST 18, 2012 8:36AM

The Wally files: A Chicken Farmer in Buzzard Neck

Rate: 10 Flag

 In this entry Wally tells us about his old buddy, Billy Bob Rabinowitz, the leading chicken farmer of Buzzard Neck, Texas.

One of my closest friends back in Buzzard Neck, Texas is Billy Bob Rabinowitz. Now Billy Bob, besides being the only Jewish cowboy in Buzzard Neck, Texas, also holds the distinction of being one of the most successful chicken farmers in town.

I remember when Billy Bob decided to get into the chicken business. He went out and bought himself a few hundred young layers (hens), called "pullets" and also ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

Now the thing about Billy Bob is that no matter what kind of business he goes into...and he has had a LOT of businesses...he always approaches each one in a very scientific and ordered manner. He did the same with his new chicken farm.

He spent a lot of time carefully watching the flock and how the roosters were performing. Anytime he discovered one of his roosters not servicing the pullets as he should, that rooster would end up in the pot and he would bring in a new one.

Soon Billy Bob found himself spending most of the day recording the activities of his roosters and had little time for any of his other endeavours so he decided to automate his operation and free up some of his time.

He tied bells to each of his roosters, each bell with a different sound. This way he could sit on his front porch and relax and could tell by the different bells, which of his roosters were doing their job.

 Billy Bob's favorite rooster, Old Butch was the finest rooster in the county, but one day Billy Bob noticed that Butch's bell never rang once! So he decided to investigate and see what Butch's problem was. He walked out to the chicken yard and as he approached he could hear the bells of the other roosters ringing away.

He was surprised at what he found. All the other roosters were busy chasing pullets but when they got close the hens, hearing the bells, would run away. Old Butch, on the other hand, had taken his bell in his beak so it could not ring and he was busy sneaking up on the pullets...doing his job...then going on to the next one.

Billy Bob was so proud of his old rooster he decided to enter him in the Buzzard Neck County fair. Butch became an instant favorite with the judges and an overnight sensation all over the county. The judges were so impressed with Butch that they awarded him the No Bell Piece Prize and the Pulletsurprise as well!

Wally M. Geezer….Over and Out!

Your tags:

TIP:

Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Recipient's email address:
Personal message (optional):

Your email address:

Comments

Type your comment below:
Perhaps the hens knew Old Butch was there, bell or no bell, and preferred his charms to the dumb-belled roosters.
Ha, ha. This is a very well executed version of the Shaggy Dog Story, Chicken Edition. R
Oh, man ... keep feeding us these, Tor. I'm still chuckling.
Oh, mercy. Never saw this one coming. I must pass it along to my favorite rooster.
that was great!....more....more!!!....
R
"Billy Bob Rabinowitz..." 'nuff said so "Drop Kick Me Jesus through the Goal Posts of Life!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsWg0bt9kp4
This must have been one of your tall tales from before I came on OS. And it's one of the "groaningest-good" puns I think I've ever read. This one takes this week's "Zebco Award" for such a masterful job of "reeling us in".
nice one, wally! i liked when you clarified that "layer" meant hen, lest we get any naughty thoughts....

:-)
I laughed out loud at the end. That Old Butch was a smart chicken-pluckin' rooster.

Lezlie
I always love a Billy Bob or Bubba story. Heck, I even married a Bubba Johnson. Check out my facebook stats if you don't believe me. I definitely like the story.

Write on! David.
That was one smart rooster!! :D