“Cry Havoc and let slip the dogs of war!” This is one of my all time favorite Shakespeare quotes and, curiously, it came to mind a few days ago in a way that left both Mel and myself almost helpless with laughter.
It all started innocently enough, with our efforts to introduce our new micro-pigs, Sparkles and Rosie, to a few of our dog pack. We thought it might be prudent to start the introductions with our two smallest dogs: Tater Tot, our Chihuahua and Velcro, our miniature Italian Greyhound. Neither of these dogs weigh more than ten pounds or stand more than about twelve inches at the shoulder.
So the morning of the big meeting we let the pigs out of their crate, fed them and then waited for them to settle down for their first nap of the day then Mel went to the back door and called the two dogs onto the back porch and let them into the house.
Tater and Velcro came bounding into the house, overjoyed at the unexpected treat of getting to play in the house during the day instead of having to hang with the riff-raff in the back yard.
I was sitting in the living room, keeping one eye on the sleeping pigs and the other on the latest episode of DWTS which I had recorded the night before. Okay, honestly…both eyes were on the TV and there could have been an elephant asleep in the room and I wouldn’t have noticed.
The two dogs tore past Mel and into the living room and that’s when things got interesting. At the first sound of the dogs barking, the two pigs sprang up and stood shoulder to shoulder….waiting. The two dogs skidded to a stop in the living room and stared in shock at the two new interlopers on their personal playground.
Then the two little pigs, who are wicked-smart like most of their breed, turned their heads and looked at each other and I could swear they were communicating. They grunted and snorted a few times then in unison they turned back to the dogs and ATTACKED!
Eight little feet scrabbled across the tile floor as they launched on the offense, squealing and snorting in outrage. The two little dogs took one look at the onslaught of Porcine power and scrabbled into a hasty retreat back to the kitchen and refuge behind Mel.
The pigs stopped their assault a few feet short of Mel’s legs and stood, shoulder to shoulder again, and stared at the two dogs. This went on for a minute or two then the dogs, gathering courage from the close proximity of Mel and myself, took heart and mounted their own charge. The two pigs scrambled into hasty retreat back to their nap blanket then turned and stood their ground once again……then it started all over again.
Charge and retreat and each move accompanied by squeals, snorts, barks and whines from the different combatants. With each move and counter move, Mel and I would collapse in laughing fits and I could not help myself…that quote came screaming to mind and I called out…”CRY HAVOC AND LET SLIP THE PIGS OF WAR!”
The pigs, spurred on by the battle cry, charged yet again, joined by our laughter. This went on for at least thirty minutes and covered most of the house and around both mine and Mel’s feet.
Finally the two sides were exhausted and withdrew to opposite sides of the living room and laid down to rest while keeping a wary eye on the enemy.
We both laughed so hard neither of us could draw breath for awhile and when I was once again able to speak, I told Mel that the pigs and dogs were a lot like some bloggers I knew; neither side would ever be able to co-exist so the best we could do would be keep them separate.
The two little pigs now have a spacious new home in a large area of the barn, enclosed by a chain-link fence and housing all their favorite toys and their crate to sleep in.
Velcro and Sparkles face off. It was hard to get any good pics of the different charges as we were laughing too hard to pick up the camera.

A united front.....

The retreat.....

After the war....a new home...



Salon.com
Comments
rated with love
~Rated~
The fifth paragraph gave me pause while I figured out DWTS, but I got past it as I vaguely remember daughter keeping track.
R
Sage....Same here: long time no see. Thanks for the visit.
Gerald Anderson.....You're right, being a child of the sixties, that just sounds all kinds of wrong don't it.
RomanticPoetess.....I have to agree, they are cuties aren't they.
Matt...Yeah that was as far as I wanted to take that anology. I should have just said: "Fill in the Blanks here".
Heidi Banerjee....The book I have to publish is a far cry from the stories of the ranch. It is dark and violent and not sure if it will ever get to see the light of day. Good idea about warning Matt, would hate to see him choke.
Scanner...Ain't it the truth, buddy!
Walter Blevins.....I hope all my animals are too smart to join either party, my friend.
jlsathre....I wasn't kidding, that is my favorite Shakespear quote.
Cassiepants....These are Juliana Pigs and, unlike the Pot Belly, they never get over about forty pounds.
Erica K.....A very apt song, I agree.
pastvoices....Oh that's one of my favorite shows.
BuffyW.....Mel has been telling me the same thing.
Christine Geery......Tater Tot is the defacto dictator of the dog pack and has an attitude much bigger than her pint-sized body.
V. Corso....I'm glad you enjoyed it and thanks for stopping by.
of human familial kindness & mercy & solicitude.
The dog will , having 10 thousand years or so on the porker,,
be a jealous friend.
The pigs did well. i wait for illumination regarding their
"wicked intelligence" & habits.
When animals come in contact with humans,
what happens?
Do they "evolve", become more human?
Or do they simply reflect our worst traits?
You got the sweetest tales coming from this ranch David...
Best to all there...
I heard that when the dogs what to rile the little ones up, they just say "ham" or "bacon."
Lezlie
I hope to some day come see Almosta Ranch in person when I finally bring your book to be signed. LOL