Life on Almosta Ranch

Stories of ranch life and other silly musings of an old codger

David McClain

David McClain
Doniphan, Missouri, USA
February 08
I am a simple man who has lived a simple life for sixty years. I have not dined with movie stars nor Kings and Queens. I have not walked the halls of power, nor have I been a mover and a shaker. I have, however, been a soldier, a tinker, a jack of all trades. I have raised five children....I have been loved and I have loved. I do not see grand designs nor do I chase afer them. Instead, I listen to the heartbeat of the land and I rejoice in a bird's song in the morning. Do not come here seeking answers for I have none. I do have questions which I will ask you constantly though. I do not believe in aruging so Politics will not be discussed in my blog. I do not care what your personal beliefs are for you are free to believe as you will...please allow me to do likewise. I have never been rich, but I have always been poor. Being poor however has never stopped me from feeling rich. I feel rich because I have the love of a good woman. Melinda completes me. She gives me the peace of mind and soul required to write about life without regrets and without envy of those who might have more. She is my world. Almosta Ranch is our heaven and we are happiy. This is what I want to share with you in this blog.


David McClain's Links
FEBRUARY 7, 2015 8:23PM

23,910 days...and counting.

As I write this it is night....cold and crisp...dark and quiet here on the ranch The chickens have all gone to roost, the pig and the goat are nestled down in their warm beds of straw in their barn stall and the horses are peacefully munching their hay bales between… Read full post »

JANUARY 16, 2015 2:39PM

Something that might interest you

I am not a salesman and I have never been a salesman. Now that's a hell of a statement coming from a man who has worked, off an on, his entire adult life, in retail but it's true. I was never able to be one of those high pressure, close the… Read full post »

DECEMBER 6, 2014 11:57AM

The Hunt

I first wrote this story twenty-five years ago then in 2005 I moved it into my portfolio over on the writing site I still use to store my work. The Hunt was also one of the first stories I chose to include in my book of short stories which I hadRead full post »

OCTOBER 30, 2014 11:28AM

The Great Wagoo



It all started a few months back when my sweet wife related to me a dream she had experienced the night before. We both love sharing our dreams with each other because we both are such vivid dreamers.

Our dreams can sometimes unfold like great novels,… Read full post »

AUGUST 19, 2014 11:59AM

What side do you come down on?

Not long after the shooting in Ferguson Mo. Took place I had a friend try to feel me out as to where I stood with what was happening a mere three hours from my front door. He didn’t come right out and ask…but he wanted to know.

I don’tRead full post »

JULY 27, 2014 4:02PM

Never follow a White Rabbit....


Just ask Alice, she'll tell you.....never chase a white rabbit because you just might disappear down a rabbit hole and then no telling where you'll end up. Never was this  truism brought home to me like it was this morning.

The day began like all the others here on AlmostaRead full post »

JULY 24, 2014 10:31AM

Then there are days.....

 Taking the advice of some of my commentors on my last blog, I did this one first on OurSalon then copied and pasted it here and NOW I have pictures! Thanks for the helpful hints.


My blog, for the most part, these past few years, has dealt mainly with lifeRead full post »

Today I decided to finally try and fix the problem I have been having with Open Salon. For some months now I have not been able to post any pictures on my blog.

So I went to "New Post" and opened it up, then I went to" PA Image"  and… Read full post »

Chihuahua’s are just bat-shit crazy. Left on their own without the protection of humans, the Chihuahua would become extinct within one generation, having been killed and eaten by everything from pissed off Grizzly bears, to mildly annoyed Gophers.

The problem with this breed of dog is that theRead full post »

JUNE 18, 2014 12:36PM

My Boy Grows Up

I had the great good fortune yesterday to be invited over to our friend’s, Angel and Jason’s family farm. Their farm is a beautiful thing with deep forests, wide open, massive fields and a flowing creek that winds through the property, its clear, cool water shaded by huge oaks.Read full post »

MAY 29, 2014 4:06PM

Can You Ever Go Home Again?

I believe that it was Thomas Wolfe who is attributed with saying: “You can never go home again.” Prehaps that is true, but it is worth the effort to try for trying is what makes us human after all.

 My own journey began on May the 23rd when I caughtRead full post »

When our children grow up and decide to strike out on their own is always a traumatic time for parents. Whether the child in question is your own or, as in our case here on Almosta Ranch, one of our “Adopted” children, it is hard to let go for us parents.Read full post »

MARCH 22, 2014 6:23AM

Fifty Shades of Rabbit Sex

Drawing parallels between human and animal behavior is an inescapable pastime on any farm and Almosta ranch is no different. No where are the similarities more apparent than in the sex life of the various farm animals.

What follows is a prime example of how animal behavior many times mimicsRead full post »

MARCH 5, 2014 2:28PM

Hillbilly History Class

The Crimea is much in the news today, and for good reason. Tensions are high as Russian leader, Vladimir Vladimirovich

Putin threatens to invade the Ukraine in order to protect ethnic Russians living in Crimea.

All of this has prompted me to put on my history hat and delveRead full post »

FEBRUARY 17, 2014 10:58AM

Velcro Sticks.....and so did the dog!

I misnamed him, I see that now. I decided to call him “Velcro” when in fact his name should have been “Hollywood.”

He came into our lives like all our dog pack did…by accident and unplanned. Three years ago Mel was checking on the property next to ours. The ownerRead full post »

JANUARY 10, 2014 10:03AM

Strength and Honor

Two men face each other before an impending battle, grasp forearms, look intently into the other’s eyes and repeat the phrase: “Strength and Honor”. Yes, it is merely a scene from a movie but, as I grow older I realize more and more how much that phrase means to me.Read full post »

DECEMBER 26, 2013 1:48PM

God Got it Wrong

They say that each of us, on our deathbed, experience our lives flashing before our eyes. If this is indeed true then I believe that God got it wrong. I don’t think our whole lives should be played back, just those moments special to each of us. It just makes moreRead full post »

NOVEMBER 19, 2013 11:14AM

The Great Escape: Piggy Style!

I have been retired now for almost three years and I have come to notice a certain phenomenon. At least once a week something happens in my life which cruelly reminds me that I am not some rich, lecherous, old man living out his golden years on a sandy beach watchingRead full post »

NOVEMBER 13, 2013 2:35PM

Two Old Dogs

As daylight broke on a frosty Winter morning the old dog lay curled up on the couch, sleeping soundly in the warm, dark living room. His massive head lay upon the soft cushion of the couch as his hind legs twitched spasmodically; dreams of long ago younger days when he ranRead full post »

OCTOBER 31, 2013 5:22AM

What If....Considering the Unthinkable

Yesterday was something of an eye-opener for me. I was forced, for the first time in over twelve years to consider what this world would hold for me without the woman I love standing at my side.

It all started yesterday morning. Mel loves to go out to the barnRead full post »

OCTOBER 21, 2013 11:50AM

The Big Bang Theory

To paraphrase Lewis Carroll’s famous work Jabberwocky, “The time has come, “ The walrus said, “To talk of many things: of shoes and ships---of sealing wax---of cabbages and kings…..and Practical Jokes.”

Ever since I was old enough to hide my momma’s favoriRead full post »

OCTOBER 19, 2013 9:46AM

A Time of Troubles

Four times over the past two days I have started this blog entry only to abandon it halfway through the writing. I have come at the subject in different ways, none suitable for conveying my ideas my way.

I tried to be metaphoric and draw parallels with what’s happening nowRead full post »

OCTOBER 12, 2013 1:01PM

I Love a Good Storm

This morning, around eight o’clock, a large thunderstorm struck here on Almosta ranch. Now I know that is not really news for here in the Heartland we are accustomed to many such storms this time of year and this one was not larger or more violent than many we had experiencedRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 17, 2013 1:05PM

The Last Christmas

The other day I found an old photograph that I had saved from my previous computer. It was a shot, taken by my wife, of my grown daughter sitting in my lap and giving me a hug.

I posted the picture on FB and my daughter reminded me of somethingRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 5, 2013 12:42PM

McMurtry's Masterpiece and Me

Last week I had the pleasure of watching the complete Lonesome Dove mini-series which was aired on AMC. I remember the first time I read the Larry McMurtry novel. I had read that a mini-series was in the works based on the book and it sounded interesting so as I alwaysRead full post »