- Your closet, Indiana, France
- July 16
- President and CEO of Your Mom
- Your closet
- Smell my Paws! Does that smell like poo to you?
Writer? No way! I'm a guy with a cat who knows my passwords and likes to blog!!
Oops, I mean, I'm a cat who likes to blog.
Smell my paws!!! French prostitutes? Only on Tuesdays!! Lets cuddle!!
MY RECENT POSTS
- JOURNAL ENTRY #? : WHA?
March 07, 2014 04:59AM
- Foodie Tuesday: Aunty Home
March 03, 2014 08:35PM
- ICE CREAM FALLING FROM THE SKY
March 01, 2014 02:57PM
- A LIST TO LIVE BY - Really?
Nah, just kidding Google!
February 27, 2014 01:26AM
- What an Editor of Open.Salon
does - A TYPICAL DAY
February 26, 2014 12:59PM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “When you wake up
breathing, it's a good day!!
- “Steve, no thanks!!!
- “Woman, thank you!! Now,
to just pass the drug test!
- “heron, HI!! And nummy!!
JOURNAL ENTRY: WHATEVER
STAR DATE: WHO THE HELL KNOWS!
WHAT AM I LISTENING TO: THE SOUNDS OF SILENCEDATE: March 7th, 2014 (I think! It could be July 12th, 1710 but then, would I be writing this on some sort of electronic devil device then? Who knows!)
POINTS OF INTEREST: MEAT… Read full post »
Back in the days before the Dinosaurs, Open had Foodie Tuesdays, where people would post stories about their mom's chicken thighs and other such stuff.
With the Ed I Tor missing in action, my bet being on he has been devoured by angry walruses in New York City Zoo, there's been… Read full post »
There's ice cream falling from the sky!
Come see! Come see!!
No! No! SNOW!!!
A few years ago, I did an interview with an Ed I Tor of Open.Salon and it went over like a lead balloon.
Joan Walsh ordered a hit on me but Kerry said, "Calm down, he just took things out of context!"
A few years down the road, and things have… Read full post »
Earlier tonight, as I dined on salmon and waffles and drank my $1.95 a bottle 'fin win', I decided to get some answers to the big questions we've all had about THE FUTURE OF OUR OPEN.SALON and other stuff.
I call the main office and headquarters of Salon.
"Salon Media and… Read full post »
In reply to Zoomer's Writer's Challenge -
THE THING THAT FELL TO EARTH
So very very true sad story, I don't even know how Bear survived this adventure.
I know how I survive such sad, sad true stories : FREE BEER!!! And lots of it.
Who wants free beer? YOU DO? Come on over!! Plenty in fridge!! I steal it from liquor… Read full post »
Bobby Brown takes the stage for introduction to Bear's blog
HI!! Bear here today to tell you, hello and check out my birfday hat.
Bears love birfday hat!!!
Who got birfday hat? BEAR DOES!!
What has been going on since last time Tink let me take over his… Read full post »
I keep thinking about joining a cult.
The Democrats seem to be a good cult but then the Republicans have their good side, mostly guys in suits who like to cry and shake their fists at poor people.
I like to do that myself.
I would take a walk right now… Read full post »
WHEN YOU GET DOWN, DANCE!!!
Today, I've been in a strange mood. Actually, last few days I've been in a strange mood.
I ran outside, naked, screaming, THE BRITISH ARE COMING, which is strange as all of us know, the Brits never ever… Read full post »
Hi, my name is me.
Today I come to you as an addict,
I've never been one before.
Heroin and booze, cutting my wrists
to feel the pain,
This makes me complete,
Till the day I die.
Hello, my world friend, I am an
I am down,
Wandering the streets,
Looking for life,
Trying to/… Read full post »
I've been kind of down in the dump. Messages to Jake go unanswered. Even Joan Walsh seems to have disappeared off the face of Planet Treton.
But there was some good stuff going on, stuff that should be reported but isn't because the media is messed up.
Kerry Lauerman is working… Read full post »
Tonight, I opened up my email and peered inside.
Subject: Would you like to get laid tonight?
(Note: NOT REALLY! I did receive a nice email from a Russian lady looking for love and almost posted it here, with picture - SEEN BELOW - )
1.… Read full post »
In my dreams you walk dripping from a sea-journey on the highway across America in tears to the door of my cottage in the Western night, so said the prophet from the edge of space and time.
He would watch the people from the corner of his eyes.
People, people, everywhere, where… Read full post »
We worship at the altar of life itself, wading into pools of blood, left there by generations before.
World, world, soon on fire, dancing through space, time and everything, wondering where we were when everything fell apart; lifeless, brainless monkeys standing at a bus stop, waiting for a tr… Read full post »
Jacob Sugarman isn't dead as previously reported but his stand in monkey is, his testicles (the monkey's, not Jake's!! ) shoved into his mouth.
He was seveteen.
An apparent suicide.
Life is wonderful unless you choke on your own balls.
And even then, it's not too bad.
Unless the… Read full post »
I wrote a story, the first chapter of a book, which I posted at Ours and Zoomers.
Open doesn't deserve it to be posted.
Too many people who believe Satan will win the next season of Dancing with the Stars!!
I was told by priests, who didn't molest… Read full post »
The other day, while the sun shined and the weather God (his name is Frank ) made the clouds drift lightly through a wonderfully blue sky, I took a long walk up what I call The Long Hill.
I thanked Obama for providing such a wonderful day but cursed him for… Read full post »
Jake, kindly youngling and editor to the stars, is dead.
We think The Highlander killed him.
"There can be only one!" we heard Jake yell.
"That's my line asshole!"
And then, as the video above shows, there was sparks, Sean Connery said something about swimming with sharks and… Read full post »
Tired and alone and in a cranky (no relations) mood, I decided to write a letter to Jacob Sugarman, as I'm his biggest fan.
"Dear Jake, Open is lonely without you and the Cover is very dusty, please come back!"
I hit send and sat back in my leather chair waiting… Read full post »
After a month and a half on a tropical beach somewhere in New Jersey, I decided to head back to New York City in my pursuit to find Sugarman.
Cranky Cuss had enough of reality TV shows and met up with me at the offices of Salon Media and Plumbing.… Read full post »
I was sitting in the thorn bushes contemplating the great mystery of the universe, "Where the **BEEP** IS JACOB SUGARMAN??"
The silence was deafening as the cosmic forces that built the universe were contemplating their own stuff, basically, who wrote the book of love and where did Ted Kennedy… Read full post »