Your closet, Indiana, France
July 16
President and CEO of Your Mom
Your closet
Smell my Paws! Does that smell like poo to you? Writer? No way! I'm a guy with a cat who knows my passwords and likes to blog!! What? Oops, I mean, I'm a cat who likes to blog. Smell my paws!!! French prostitutes? Only on Tuesdays!! Lets cuddle!!


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He was walking down the street, a cold sweat rolling down his forehead.

Pain, so much pain, hitting him in the stomach and head hard, like a prize fighter and he was losing the fight. 

He needed a hit quickly and he needed it now.

The problem was, he didn't… Read full post »

My dearest readers, friends, enemies, that guy who has stalked me since I got here, today, it is with great pride that I, Tinkerer R. Tink, have decided to run for the office of Warlord and/or President of the United States.

I know what you're thinking, "Oh Tink, today's not… Read full post »

OCTOBER 25, 2010 7:41AM

Dear Ed I Tor: I love you!

Dearest Ed I Tor,

I love you more than any other Ed I Tor I've had the pleasure of knowing in my almost 2 years on Open.Salon. (Yeah, you can tell Kerry that! Course, he'll be like, "Tink who?")

I am an addict to the Open, I'll admit, but something… Read full post »

Hello world!

I started a new trend in blogging a few weeks ago called GOOD SPAM SUNDAY, where, I, the blogger known to the world as Deep Dick Friday, began spamming the Open.Salon feed with my shit.

Which of course isn't anything different than what I normally do, but hey, at… Read full post »

We, the People, ala Me and my multiple personalities, which I call "the People", are making a difference, we're scaring Washington DC, not Washington State but they could be scared too!

My posts on the midterm elections have been getting hits from some major media folks. 

We're talking l… Read full post »

Can you smell it in the air?  Take a whiff, what do you smell?

Horse shit?  Vaseline? Farts and burps? Unprocessed sewage?

No, that isn't what you're smelling, that's political goodness! Ripe and ready to flow over on us like cum over a Thai prostitute in the world's largest ci… Read full post »



The other day my wife, while throwing away her daily quota of trash at her place of employment, found a large duffel bag tucked aside in the dumpster more than thrown away.

She grabbed it, wondering what could be inside, and toted… Read full post »

Hello everybody and welcome to another issue of 'Tink Interviews'.  Tonight's special guest is none other than Ed I Tor, star of stage, screen, and radio bios.

As everyone knows, Tink and Ed have a long history together, a sort of love/hate relationship that goes with the title more then the… Read full post »

So it's Sunday, a day we use to set aside to write bad pornos involving Jesus, Moses and the Virgin Mary but lately, it has become about Spam!


As everyone knows, the spamming problem has become a major problem, they fill the feeds with their promises of… Read full post »

Pfffft on the entire world.  

Ed I Tor doesn't pick me, though that's probably a good thing nowadays, I mean, Ed picks ya and suddenly you're popular with the likes of Mary Lin and then when Ed makes you her Pick Bitch, she accidentally deletes you after you post your… Read full post »

I should stop checking my email on any days that end in Y, I get way too many awesome emails.

Job offers.

Ads for penis pills, make your Johnson that much bigger.

Facebook requests that aren't from Facebook.  Same with Myspace. Yeah, I know, nobody uses Myspace but rock band wannabes… Read full post »

I know it has been awhile since I've updated you, my devoted readers, on my adventures as an unemployed whore and tonight I was reminded that you my readers(HI CINDY ROSS!!!) were semi-interested, though you still like my pieces on Dancing with the Stars(HI ED I TOR!!).

Well, my friends, tonight,… Read full post »



I stood there crying; then smiling at the wall, painted puke green in my eyes, olive some would say.


Nurses walked by me, throwing a smile but not really noticing me, just going about their business here and there.


I stood there, a tune in my… Read full post »

I'm leaving here and never coming back.

Hold your hurrays Ed I Tor, I'm just kidding. 

I have no life.

Where else would I go?

My job?


Anyways, the other day I received an email from the president of the United States of Kick Ass wanting me to get into "The Game"… Read full post »

Today, it has been decreed by the Division of People who Decide Such Things, that it shall be forever known as Good Spam Weekends, which shall last all week long for months and months and maybe even years.

Google Ads Spam Blam Wham Thank you Google Ads even decided to get in on the act with this ADS… Read full post »

....right before you die.

No, no, not really. 

Come back, there's more.

According to confetti.co.uk, a British wedding site, the happiest time in a marriage is 11 months and eight days after the wedding.

Awesome, I know, right?

But Tink, you're saying to yourself, there has to be happiness… Read full post »

Today, this the 8th day of October, 2010, I, your friend, your fuzzy wuzzy choo choo butt, am coming out of the closet.

I am Barack Obama's hope and dream to win THE GAME!

You laugh, you snicker, you downright cry, I can hear you right now, you Republicans should be… Read full post »

Okay, the other day, I did a profile on Dr. Rand Paul, republican candidate for the senate seat in Kentucky. 

Go ---->RAND PAUL FOR DOG CATCHER <------- here to read it, if you missed it(HI ED I TOR!!!!)

Hundreds of people hit it.

Which around Open equals to about 12… Read full post »

Oh it true!! I am sorry, I will be dying soon, very soon. I have the most dreaded disease called cinthia laban and the only cure is to send Reverend Goodwin of the Nigerian Goodwin Home for Wayward Princesses 12 million dollars before tomorrow afternoon.

Guess I'm screwed.

Goodbye cruel world.… Read full post »

November 2nd, 2010 is fast approaching and with all the politicans trying to win votes with their pretty mail stuffers, wild and colorful television ads, nifty websites and knocking on your door just as you ready yourself to watch the weather lady, Tink is reminded, "Man, my political pieces sure do… Read full post »

Middle of the night, wake up, try to fall back asleep.


Dreams coming in, about nothing, old days, high school friends, smoking something, standing on the street corner, like we did way back then.

"Got your homework done for Stephen's class?" someone, maybe Jim, a friend of mine who blew… Read full post »

Ah love, how we love to find it, hold on to it, and then cry the night away in the corner, with our love letters ripped between our legs, wet with the tears that fell from our eyes when our dearest true love ripped out our heart and stomped on it till… Read full post »

Some nights are just made for going out and drinking $2 a glass whiskey and cokes.

Wednesday was my night.

It was a celebration, a salute to my cousin and her soon to be hubby, their wedding is today, aka, Friday at 6pm.  

You know you're going to fall in… Read full post »

Smile, you're going to die What is my story?

Where did my story begin? 

Perhaps billions and billions of years ago, in the ooze of the cosmic ocean, one bit of ooze, looked at another bit of ooze and said,

"Wanna fuck?"

And of course, the other ooze said, "Not with you!" Hence began… Read full post »

The other night, more like early morning, I decided to take a walk down to the local Meijers and buy some fixings for a big breakfast.

It was 2 in the morning, the wifey was having a girl's night with her friend and two daughters(one is 3, the other is 7,… Read full post »