Tinkerertink69

Tinkerertink69
Location
Your closet, Indiana, France
Birthday
July 16
Title
President and CEO of Your Mom
Company
Your closet
Bio
Smell my Paws! Does that smell like poo to you? Writer? No way! I'm a guy with a cat who knows my passwords and likes to blog!! What? Oops, I mean, I'm a cat who likes to blog. Smell my paws!!! French prostitutes? Only on Tuesdays!! Lets cuddle!!

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Salon.com
MAY 31, 2012 11:05PM

JOB OFFERS JUST KEEP ROLLING IN!

Rate: 17 Flag

OH MY GOD!!

Another job offer!!


Subject: Part time job

From: Your baby's mama

Date: Who cares?

Greetings,
Our handler, has selected your survey on Careerbuiled website. We would like to propound you available position of Administrative Assistant at our company|agency|business|facility). Please, find more information about us and this place below.

MLD is a leading distributor of finest approval product. Currently it is one of the most important specializing in online market. With more than 5 years of knowledge in the copiousness ware business.
We tender a continuous refurbishment in our gathering, following the latest course in each country and time of year, thus assuring the requisite of buyers.
We always keep in mind that fares are an essential component when it comes to sales.

We are looking for a reliable someone who will be ready to contract all necessary activeness. Our applicant should be highly stimulated. We assume that the happening is not the most important substance. The key to accomplishment is a fresh glance and audacious ideas!

The main job of Administrative Assistant:

*Providing everyday paper with virtual office system
* handle with dependents
*Manage finances

Fixed payment of $450 per week + 5% commission. Part- Time position.

The wages will be paid at the rank of $450 per week + 5% commission.
Im emailing you Application Form you can find it attached to this email. Please go through it carefully, complete and send it back to me via email Virginia@MLDcareer.com or by fax +1-832-201-8372. In case you have any queries, please feel free to ask.

Best Regards,
MLD Team


First off, I'm not sure what a Careerbuiled website is, but I bet it's not my cup of tea.

I like to hang out at some pretty 'interesting' sites so this may be one of THOSE sites that I have forgotten putting in a survey with.

"We would like to propound you available position of Administrative Assistant at our company|agency|business|facility)."

OH MY!!!

I think I may have already been propounded many a time at some of my previous employers but never as a administrative assistant!

I wonder if I should wear my crotchless pantyhose(I love Sailor Blue!!! Hides my leg hairs so much better than nude!) and school girl outfit when going in for the interview?

These are questions that aren't answered on most careerbuiled websites but really should be.

(One site I read said not to dress TOO sexy.  Define TOO sexy! )

Also, they really should decide if they are a 'company', 'agency', 'business' or 'facility'.

According to Careerbuiled.com, you can't be all of them, it's just not possible, time-space continuum and all that stuff that involves math and science and possibly home economics!

What does MLD do?

The do stuff and are very good at it. 

'MLD is a leading distributor of finest approval product. '

See?

Finest approval product!

Why have more than one product!

Why shouldn't I believe them?

Why would they lie to me?

'We always keep in mind that fares are an essential component when it comes to sales. '

This is going to be my new slogan!

Yes, yes, fares are an essential component when it comes to sales!

"Define fares!"

Fares=suckers!

Haha! Oops! I mean, fares = explosive growth market with potential for earning ratings of numerous percentage points above one hundred percent! YOU ARE THE FARES!!!

The main job of Administrative Assistant:

*Providing everyday paper with virtual office system
* handle with dependents
*Manage finances

 I can provide paper(everyday or just plain monthly!!) but I'm all out of virtual office system(s) so I guess I'm frucked!!

No dependents neither.

And my finances are frucked too!!

"In case you have any queries, please feel free to ask."

No queries but some questions ---

What's a matter with u? Cantcha justa say 'Hey! We'sa gotz a job opp u a mighta be interested in, we'sa finds u on za Interanetathingyabob, u resume, ita something us!! We'da like 4 u to be in r cumpany! U'z knows?'

Alrightz!

No more queries. 

Or questions!

Here is my resume.  You forgot to attach the application.

Dumbass!

How could I work for such a company that uses the term 'propound' and not mean, being pounded by a professional such as GM, AGM or VP OF MGM!

I think this job really needs to be full time!


Best regards,

Tinky Winky Superstar Incorporated and Head Bottle Washer @ Jackmeoff.com

 

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Tink, you're in trouble. Where's my blending stump set? hmmm?
;)
No tuna for you!
R
Damn it. I knew there was a big future in "the copiousness ware business." But, no, I had to listen to my high school guidance counselor. Now I race grasshoppers for a living.
company|agency|business|facility

Hey, maybe they're a conglomerate. I know it's fairly cheap to send out millions of spam emails but I can't believe that even the most desperate, credulous dupe in a hurry would fall for this one. The should go back to those mass faxes for cheap vacations, HR courses and reconditioned print cartridges.
any queries????
Isnt your life an open book?
HUGGGGGGGGGGG
damn. I know you are maintaining a sense of humor, but damn, damn, damn
I have two questions for you:

1. Do you speak Chinese?

2. Why don't you work for Pyapal?
My Dear Friend Tinkererertinkle,

I have no idea what's come over you lately. Here you are getting fine job offers and career opportunities that most of us would drop our panties and wriggle our butts for, and you're passing them up in favour of a session in the thorn bushes with Miss Page 31.

Now you just sit right down and write to the govermint. They've just passed a law making it legal to lie to the people of 'Merika and to feed them propaganda. I'm sure that they could use the help of a cool cat like you! They'll surely employ someone of your skills to help them with that. After all, who can make up things better than you?!

You can practice by going out and stumbling over some poor people who are starving and telling them that they are NOT hungry; that, as long as Bam-bam and Rummy ain't hungry, it's illegal for anyone else to be hungry. (It's not illegal? Don't worry, it soon will be.)

You could also inspect one of those 600+ interment camps (there must be some near you) and report on what a paradise the govermint is preparing for all the unemployed bums to enjoy if they go around saying that they're hungry.

Do it for Amerika, Tinky-tink! Do it for Exceptionalism!

Signed: Yer fren,
E. Lite Brownnoser
.
I think this is the pertinent part...

Our applicant should be highly stimulated. We assume that the happening is not the most important substance. The key to accomplishment is a fresh glance and audacious ideas!

The crotchless tights would inspire a fresh glance but only if worn with a spangled thong.
How does anybody fall for these?
They are right up there in la la land with the same ads that say 'Make $100's of dollars a week at home stuffing envelopes'...
Yeah right...
I think they left out the part where you need to send in $50.99 to secure a place in line to interview for this propoundment.
This job means you have to transfer to China. It seems that they are seeking someone who can speak English.
That "survey you filled out"---you didn't forget nothing! You sent a resume to the temple of slime---said "job board." There was actually no real job. It was a cover for the boiler room sending you this. And I'm guessing you didn't have to do much, if any, editing on this. The end game is your email address for spam.

For anybody even THINKING about looking for a job via a massive world wide type job board? And there is nobody's name on it---a name you can look up elsewhere like linked in---which is reliable as a research tool---picture yourself strolling through a dark city alley full of garbage cans at 2:00 am. MAYBE you'd find a job in there.

But probably not. Internet job boards are evil coming to life on your computer screen!

Little did they know you have other places to find spam!
I say, any company that can "tender a continuous refurbishment in our gathering" is a company that I would like to work for!
Yes, Virginia, there really is a Tinkerertink, and he is highly stimulated.
I'd hold out for an unpaid internship if I were you.
I have always wanted to work in the "copious ware industry" but have feared it would be too much for me. R
Tink,

Lucky you! Everyone wants you. :)

XOXOXO

P.S. Please send my best regards to your lovely wife.
C'mon, people. Wake up. "Who would fall for these?" Dear naive ones, as James Thurber once said, "You can fool too many people too much of the time."

There are people who will respond to these ads. They exist. They probably live next door to you. Hope and belief in the goodness of other human beings has killed many more people than it's saved.

If it helps, consider that the writer of this illiterate spam is a poor soul in a Chinese gulag. Someone told him his wife and children would die unless he wrote spam to catch unwary Americans. So now his wife and children will simply die of starvation, instead of government bullets in their heads. That's a kind of karmic payback, I guess.
Amateur pounding of translated translation:

"Continuous refurbishment"
Meaning: We offer job, but fire between interview and start date - so no need print virtual check.

"Highly stimulated...fresh glance...audacious ideas"
Meaning: MLD=Many Limp D--

What?

And yes, crotchless pantyhose best. Save nude pantyhose to cover face during video interview (audacious idea?)

(BTW - if get job, can give me refer work there too? I be good behaved - I hope.)
-R-
Poor Woman, WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! :D

Stim, me too!!! ~:D

Abrawang, I have a feeling someone would fall for it!!! Not me, I'm holding out for Duck Industry!! ~:D

Linda, it is!! ~:D

~hug~

Julie, I'm maintaining a something, maybe a will to live!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! :D

lefty, pyapal has giving me an open job offer, any time, I can make it!! :D

sky, I AM DOING IT!!! FOR AMERIKA!!! :D Or as Mitt writes it, AMERCIA!! :D

phyllis, I'm going to wear a thong!! ~:D

Three sizes too small!! :D

Mission, I've made like big money stuffing envelopes!! :D

Chicken Man, it's $75!! ~:D

heron, again, I'm frucked!! No speakee ze Englishe!! ~:D

Chicago, ~nod~ No editing at all!! The real sad part is they getcha without you even applying for a thing. There's of course the email lists bought and sold on the market *(legit companies do this, back in my early career I worked for a telemarketing firm who would get credit card information from the major banks. Pennies on the dollar for MILLIONS of customers from First USA to Bank One to all the rest. I was a good boy and didn't take even 1 number!! But I thought about it!! :D) and even filling out a survey at lets say Pepsi Cola can get you in the fray!!!

Stupid Online Easy Access!! :( ~:D

Frank, me too!! ~:D

Jeanette, ~nodding~ ~:D

Con, already am!! Teehee!! ;D

Gerald, I did once, the hours were terrible and the pay sucked but the experience, well worth the $1.85 I got paid at the end!! What? :D

Diary, don't I know it!! ~:D

neutron, ~nodding~ Exactly!! There are people who will fall for this and many others like it. Love, jobs, etc. etc. are good bait for these scammers!!

L.E. oh my yes, will give good reference!! ;D
I LIKE U!! NOT ENOUGH TO RATD!!

u like me? I Hot Shoe!!!

Chex out my website @ http://www.google.com!! U will lick!!!
Somehow missed this one... go get 'em you Kwazy Kat!