Tinkerertink69

Tinkerertink69
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Your closet, Indiana, France
Birthday
July 16
Title
President and CEO of Your Mom
Company
Your closet
Bio
Smell my Paws! Does that smell like poo to you? Writer? No way! I'm a guy with a cat who knows my passwords and likes to blog!! What? Oops, I mean, I'm a cat who likes to blog. Smell my paws!!! French prostitutes? Only on Tuesdays!! Lets cuddle!!

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Salon.com
MAY 16, 2012 3:32AM

MY BULLY STORY: How I got lunch money!

Rate: 17 Flag

My bully's name was "Butch" Johnson. 

His real name was Francis but only his mom called him that.

And only when he was in trouble, which was a lot!

Butch decided early on in our relationship that I was going to be his target.

A few times he tried to steal my lunch money but being able to run uphill faster than Butch was a great feat and he tired easily.

During my second year in high school, I decided Butch needed to be knocked down a step or two and one day, instead of running, I stood there with Butch grinning like he did when he was going to beat the tar out of somebody.

Rule Number 1 of Street Fighting: Any target is a legal target

They say to be a manly fighter, low blows should not be attempted but, I never bragged about being a manly fighter and aimmed a kick straight into Butch's testicles.

He dropped and began crying like a little girl(who just got kicked in the nuts if girls had nuts!!!) and as an added bonus, his wallet fell out of his pocket.

He had ten dollars and some pennies.

Lunch was on Butch.

Course, payment for defending myself needed to be paid.

I did have a witness for my side.

Mr. Victor, 3rd period english, stated that Butch instigated the whole affair, and I, your darling kitty in Cyberspace, was a victim (And I did give Butch his wallet back, minus ten dollars!) plus the students gathered about screaming, BUTCH THE WUSS, but I still got a two week suspension plus a week detention after I came back.

If I had giving back the ten dollars, my principal said I would have gotten more time.

He said that with a smile and a thumbs up. (Just kidding, he told me, "Now get out of my office and go enjoy yourself for Christmas break!")

Butch never did try to bully me again. 

He did have to lose a nut years later, but I didn't have anything to do with that. 

God did.

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Comments

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I thought cats just ignored people. How did you lift your leg that high? Wouldn't of been easier just jumping up and sinking your claws into his nuts and hanging on done the trick? We had a cat that did that to me one time, he mysteriously wandered off or did I tell her the coyotes ate him. Good job Tink you bully exterminator.......o/e
Kitty does cow kicks. Cool.

o/e- ow. Seriously. That made me cringe.
nice job....there is NO fair in street fighting...
R.
There was not nut kicking at St. Al's. If one of the gym teachers came upon an altercation like you were involved in, rather than breaking it up, he would referee it to make sure you got your ass kicked fair and square. R
Couldn't you have just talked with him, explained that one day, if he kept this up, you would embarrass him in a blog on Open Salon - if he'd learned to read by then?
Good kitty. Hope lunch was extra good that day.
@Tinkerertink69

God works in mysterious ways. He is also rathful and vengence seeking. Of course he has the best cocaine and hookers.
Way to go, Tink! Got rid of my bully's with some good old-fashioned ass-kicking, too!
Tink! You old sour puss!
What a character
*sighing* and one for the rate... (gotta get used to that again!)
o/e, it was tough, high kicks are my speciality though!! :D

phyllis, did I ever tell you about the time I sunk my claws into this guy's nuts!!!! Man, was he pissed!! Chased me for days!! What? :D

Breeze, ~nod~ All is fair in such cases!! ~:D

Gerald, ~nod~, in my school, all was fair, two men went into the cage, only one came out!! :D

Chicken Man, I tried that but he no listen!! ~:D

Miguela, it was extra tasty!! ~;D

Anthony, yes he does!!! ~:D

Diva, ~nod~ Youse just gotta show them who's boss!! :D

Poor Woman, ~nodding~ I sure do loves my lemons!! What? :D
I was in love with a Butch once. I hope it was not him. I do believe he still has both balls.:)
HUGGGGGG
Hee, hee, hee.....Tink was the Mr. Majestyk of the junior high playground. Hell of a tomcattin' thing to do.
A Senior kid clocked me once in the lunchroom when I was a skinny Freshman. The next day I slipped on the wet floor and my empty lunch tray winged the back of his head. The tray broke and cut his ear (I steal feel guilty about that part). The lunch lady saw nuttin'.

That one moment earned me four years w/o physical harassment.
What a picture this brings to mind! Classic!
An excellent variation of "The Chicago Way" (He brings a knife. You bring a gun. etc.). He swings a fist at your face, you kick him in the nuts. When he collapses, then kick him in face. And again. And again. Then take your machete and hack him, hack him, hack him. Then take your gun and go after his fami ....... sorry. (walks away. reminds self to go back to anger management class)
Linda, Yeah, different Butch then!! ~:D

Walter, ~nodding~ I was a Hell cat back in the day!!!! :D

Steve, ~nodding~ And that works too!! ~:D

CC, ~takes a bow~ ~:D

Stim, YEA!! YEA!! THEN YOU BURN THE PIECES UP, JUST IN CASE, MAKE THEM INTO A SOUP, AND EATZ THEM AND THEN...what? :D
i must say, o/e's idea of hanging on by the claws is also pretty good.

fighting fair, what an oxymoron.
jane, ~nodding~ Claws are awesome ain't they? :D
I guess this explains why Butch sings meso soprano in my church Choir and he has a deep-rooted hatred of cats. R
I've always wondered why the nuts were a no-hit zone. I mean girls don't seem to have any no hit zones when they fight. Obviously you have to be a man to truly appreciate the pain....
Karma... very cool Kat.
Trudge, ~nod~ Ask him about the time I peed in his Wheaties in college!! hahahaha!! ~:D

Stars, ~nodding~ Exactly!! :D

jmac, ~nodding~ Karma is a bitch that's for sure!! ~:D