Tinkerertink69

Tinkerertink69
Location
Your closet, Indiana, France
Birthday
July 16
Title
President and CEO of Your Mom
Company
Your closet
Bio
Smell my Paws! Does that smell like poo to you? Writer? No way! I'm a guy with a cat who knows my passwords and likes to blog!! What? Oops, I mean, I'm a cat who likes to blog. Smell my paws!!! French prostitutes? Only on Tuesdays!! Lets cuddle!!

Tinkerertink69's Links

Salon.com
MAY 1, 2012 9:03AM

THE FUCK YOU GUIDE TO LIFE, CROCKS AND EVERYTHING!

Rate: 19 Flag

There is no God in Indiana

When asked what I want to do for the rest of my life, I want to answer, 'play in an all-girl banjo band'

And when asked if it's okay to steal from an employer, I will nod and say, FUCK YEA!!

I will say my name is Randy Johnson from Duluth, where I have been an independent business man since 1922, making sandwiches for the masses where they each get a bottle of Coca-Cola for a nickel! 

shit1 

"Do you think you'll still be alive in 12 months?"

"Probably not," I respond, "I doubt I'll live through this week!"

300px-Lawine
 

The interview was over in twelve point two seconds, but there were more questions, like what was my favorite sexual position if I was caught in an avalanche.

"Do you like to draw?"

I nodded.

"What kind of things do you draw?"

"Dead things!"

She started to dial security.

I stood up and walked away.

It seem like the best thing to do.

Image6

Today's menu involves super glue and a sack full of nuts, peanuts, to be exact.

A light breeze wafts in from the south, where the smell of the rendering plant cannot be smelled, but the farm is in full bloom.

Cow shit for those of you city slickers.

The phone rings.

Doctor is on the other end.

"How long do I have to live doc?"

She hates it when I call her doc.

It makes her moody.

"Two days!" she slams the phone down.

Two days?

What could I do in two days?

Free a backward nation?

Party with some Hollywood slut wannabes in my Chevy?

The possibilities were endless.

I decided to take a nap.

Image5 

Here lies the secret to the world, locked inside a bottle, and flushed down the toilet to be found by someone on a deserted island, DO NOT EAT THE YELLOW SNOW, IT'S PROBABLY NOT LEMON!

Also, leave your sister alone, she's crabby, needs a nap, but she won't take one.

I know you're bored, so am I!

Good morning and have a better day...or something!

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Comments

Type your comment below:
yeah, that about sums it up Tink
hahaha...cool....first thing i've read today that's "upbeat".tx.
I was right: you wear boxers, not briefs, like all Real Men.

r.
OK glad to know this..
You should smell when they spread chicken shit. You'd crave the cow shit after that. Blech.
Are the graphics your creations?
Tink, this is one of your funniest stream of consciousness rants yet.
Here's a tip though: In a job interview, always choose the missionary position and your favorite. Interviewers will think you are a Republican, and they like that. R
Tink,

I think it's time to cut out the super glue from your menu. Even you should be able to see how it created a sticky situation for you. :)

XOXOXO

P.S. Please send my best regards to your lovely wife.
You sir are now officially looney tunes!
What's wrong with drawing dead things? All the people in Rembrabdt's and Van Gogh's paintings are dead!
Say anything you want. I'm listening. And laughing.
When I ask my doctor that question, he asks, "How long do you want to live?" Scary.
Are you giving internet dating a whirl again, Tink?

Those questions sound pretty familiar...
Happy May Day, Tink!
Aha, Indiana. The last state to hold out,
after my dear CT,
on medicinal marijuana.
Thank heavens for those underground "mushroom guide to the midwest" books...i suspect there is a big plate of spaghetti with
many various mushrooms you eat for breakfast
every good foodie tuesday...

in an avalanche, i would want to be on top, to take the brunt
of the tons of snow...just so she could survive and
spread the word about my sexual prowess,
which along with my exquisite vocabulary,
are my best features.

In two days, I would go on a crime spree.
I always wanted to go on such a spree, but the threat
of incarceration and public humiliation
deterred me. I would raid Staples, get many many gel pens,
the kind that write real real smoothly....i would also steal
several library books,
i got a list.
Reminds me that I need a nap.
I almost followed you. I am slipping. There have been days I could follow you completely. Hope your claws are as sharp as your wits.
Watch out where the huskies go.
Julie, ~nodding~ And it just keeps going on and on!! :(

Steel, thank you very much!! :) I'm upbeat and positive!! ~:D

Jonathan, yes I do!! :D

Algis, hopefully it'll be of use to ya!! ~:D

phyllis, ~nodding~ P.U. !!!! :D

Linnnn, all of them except the avalanche!! :)

Gerald, ~jotting that down~ ~:D

Diary, no way, too nummy!! ~:D

jmac, been that way for years!! ~:D

ccdarling, supposedly, it's wrong!! I know!! What the hell? :D

Miguela, I'll keep talking till the day I can't!! ~nodding~ :)

Trudge, specially when it comes from your dentist!! EEK!! :D

V. Maybe!! :D

Erica, HAPPY MAY DAY!! I danced around the May Pole today!! It was fun!! :D

James, I think I would go on a crime spree too. I've always been a goody two shoes!!!

And yeah, mushrooms are nice!! ~:D

mical, thank you my friend!! :)

Cranky, go my friend, and nap till supper!! :D

Aunty, they're a little dull today, was out scratching on the May Pole!! ~:D

Dandy, EXACTLY!! :D
A résumé for the stars! I never consider it a successful interview unless someone dials security. Hate to think I didn't piss them off as much as they did me.
Harry, exactly!!! If they don't escort you off premise, then you didn't make a lasting impression!! ~nodding~ :D