Today, Salon decided to change its outfit.
"Everyone knows black is much more slimming and red lipstick says, I'm ready to be whored out." said Kerry Lauzamint or something like that to press reporter and career slacker Tinkerer R. Tink.
The world was agasped when the press release stated that Salon was up to 7.7 unique viewers, up from 2011.
"We meant 7.7 million viewers you daft cat!! We've already changed it since you read it!" a source in Salon.com was quoted as saying.
I believe the 7.7 is closer to the actual real number.
In inspiration to Salon.com's newest workover, I have been inspired to "REVAMP" myself in a similar fashion.
I will still write shit and call people cocksuckers to their face.
I will still piddle on the rose bushes and blame the dog.
And when all else fails, I'll slip back into TINK AFTER DARK at 1:45 PM.
And yes, while invoking the brassy urgency of a news tabloid, the new design also conveys the elegance of the House of Chanel
Good afternoon and have a better evening!!
Your friend 4-ever,