I didn't even know I had a Russian bride?

Probably ordered one from loveme.com during one of my blackouts and just forgot!

Ah, love, gots to love it, though, if you go looking for it, you'll probably find a disease at the very least and a restraining order with your name on it along with it.

Love is a tricky beast, so when you just want a lust fest, nothing says HELLO BABEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE like cruising the Internet.

There's chatrooms dedicated to 'Horny wives want to play while their hubbies are away...' and other such things.

How do I know?

My wife showed them to me.

I also get emails from Cindee and Baby stating the same. 

"Topless wife wants a new lover!"

And probably a top.

It gets cold up there in the mountains.

Nipples jut out hard enough to cut diamonds, imagine what they do to your face!

Ouchie!

 Rule #65,993,123: THERE ARE ALWAYS STRINGS ATTACHED!!

You might not see them, you might think to yourself, "We both want NSA!" but guess what, there's strings, attached to the grenade which will soon explode in your face, and not in that good way.

Trust me.

Yes, yes, great sex, oh man, best sex ever, but will it be worth it when they're on your front porch, screaming at you to come out and face your responsibilities!

"What?"

"WE HAVE A PUPPY TOGETHER!!!!"

By the way, do not open the door during these moments.

You might think it's a good idea, get them out of sight of the neighbors, but they're like vampires, once you invite them in, you can't get rid of them very easily.

Trust me, a stake to the heart might sound awesome, but not to the legal system.

They consider such things a crime.

Bastards!

I know, you're sick of an empty bed.  I have a great solution for that:

SEX DOLLS.

They come in both male and female versions.

Never sleep alone again!

And if they pop, you can buy a new one.

Try that with a living breathing mate!

They pop, you going to jail for 5 to 20 with no chance of parole!

Trust me!

Good night and have a better tomorrow.