Tinkerertink69

Tinkerertink69
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Your closet, Indiana, France
Birthday
July 16
Title
President and CEO of Your Mom
Company
Your closet
Bio
Smell my Paws! Does that smell like poo to you? Writer? No way! I'm a guy with a cat who knows my passwords and likes to blog!! What? Oops, I mean, I'm a cat who likes to blog. Smell my paws!!! French prostitutes? Only on Tuesdays!! Lets cuddle!!

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Salon.com
MARCH 9, 2012 7:41PM

TIRED OF LONELY EVENINGS?

Rate: 29 Flag

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I didn't even know I had a Russian bride?

Probably ordered one from loveme.com during one of my blackouts and just forgot!

Ah, love, gots to love it, though, if you go looking for it, you'll probably find a disease at the very least and a restraining order with your name on it along with it.

Love is a tricky beast, so when you just want a lust fest, nothing says HELLO BABEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE like cruising the Internet.

There's chatrooms dedicated to 'Horny wives want to play while their hubbies are away...' and other such things.

How do I know?

My wife showed them to me.

I also get emails from Cindee and Baby stating the same. 

"Topless wife wants a new lover!"

And probably a top.

It gets cold up there in the mountains.

Nipples jut out hard enough to cut diamonds, imagine what they do to your face!

Ouchie!

48d5585d2e5cb22550398e6df9921e8d_final Rule #65,993,123: THERE ARE ALWAYS STRINGS ATTACHED!!

You might not see them, you might think to yourself, "We both want NSA!" but guess what, there's strings, attached to the grenade which will soon explode in your face, and not in that good way.

Trust me.

Yes, yes, great sex, oh man, best sex ever, but will it be worth it when they're on your front porch, screaming at you to come out and face your responsibilities!

"What?"

"WE HAVE A PUPPY TOGETHER!!!!"

By the way, do not open the door during these moments.

You might think it's a good idea, get them out of sight of the neighbors, but they're like vampires, once you invite them in, you can't get rid of them very easily.

Trust me, a stake to the heart might sound awesome, but not to the legal system.

They consider such things a crime.

Bastards!

I know, you're sick of an empty bed.  I have a great solution for that:

SEX DOLLS.

They come in both male and female versions.

Never sleep alone again!

And if they pop, you can buy a new one.

Try that with a living breathing mate!

They pop, you going to jail for 5 to 20 with no chance of parole!

Trust me!

Good night and have a better tomorrow.

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Comments

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The trouble with Russian brides is that they only want RICH 'Merkans, so that leave us out. Blow up, do anything dolls are nice, but they're conversationally challenged, and when you find yourself answering one back -- you're ready for a rubber room.

Much nicer to snuggle with a nice kitty. And I don't mean you. I have Stinky.
Poo. I thought there was going to be a party.
lefty, you tease!! ~:( ~:D

phyllis, ALWAYS TIME FOR PARTY!! WOOOOO!! ~does a dance~ :D
I used to sell blow up dolls that could speak.. Ya pulled a cord and ooh baby it was better than a Russian Bride.
HUGGGGGGGGGG
Tinkertink, may you find international success in business, but remain the last man to marry for love!
Linda, oooooo!! That'd be cool!! ~:D

zuma, ~nodding~ No love in marriage!! WAAAA!! ~:D
Ooh, we makes our own music....

Boogying on over!
do they have russian grooms?

are their nipples hard and ruthless?

but I luv only you kittycat!
Are you going into business? tee hee...I can see it now, "Tink's tantalizing temptations!!"
I admit it. I followed Foolish Monkey.

I may buy a Mannequin with nipples.

I was Window Sopping on 5- th avenue.

I saw . . . low & behold . . . a naked woman.

She was plastic & smirked ... a wastrel gal.

I'd rather date real a Red Wood Bird Pecker.
I watch Red Woodpeckers and just Wonder.
Maybe Russian Woman may`get my Humor.
If a Foolish Monkey no love `hick? Who will?

Maybe it's `bout tome to visit`Salon Hooker.
I never viewed Salon's hot-date`Hocks-Sites.
Let's view SALON'S hot-personnel Hot-Date.
typo . . .
thyme
time
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off-topic
`
?
`
Tink wait another ten years and for only $149.95 you too can own a sensory interface peripheral that with plug you directly into that naughty wives website... big problem will be paying the cable and phone companies premium rates for the bandwidth!!
Thousands and thousands each month.
JMac
Good night and have a better tomorrow, er tonight...
Where do I advertise to be an American bride for lonely Russians? There's one specifically I've got my eye on - Mikhail Prokhorov, hot Soviet billionaire playboy and owner of the New Jersey Nets. He doesn't know it but he's lonely. And I want to keep his billions company.
Are you crazy? Are you gonna fall for that scam? I have a much better way. I sign up on the 'Fat Broad SSBBW', that's 'Super Sized Big Beautiful Wymon' site. It's only $9.95 for the shipping cost for their used panties. The used panties, I later found out, weren't even worn by the fat skanks. They were squirted on by skunks living under the web site developer's back porch. (All this is in an affidavit in federal court, because of interstate commerce violations). I will never look at the skunk meat in my grocery store the same way again. It's like the 2012 version of 'The Crying Game'...sob
And if they POP! your good and today your like popping fresh fun!

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I think Russia and China should look at some kind of free trade agreement. China has a huge surplus of marriage-age men and millions of them will lose out through scarcity. On the other hand, Russia appears to have a vast surplus of eligible women. And they're neighbors!
i wonder if they come in different flavors? I prefer grape.
I most certainly do not want NSA. What my partner(s) and I do in bed is none of the National Security Administration's business!

As for no strings attached, that's boring. A little bondage can make even a one-night stand simply outstanding*!

As for you making your partner pop, or vice versa, well, isn't that the whole idea? :~)

* - Actually, I'm told you should never, ever let yourself get tied up by anyone you don't completely trust.
I worry about you sometimes, but your posts are always entertaining. Now go get into your little bed and purr yourself to sleep after bathing your flexible self.
Try the Russian 'dessert' then have a Ukranian 'chaser' - y'all never pay for a personal lap dancer again.
Nope, they'll just invite their family over and ....................... well just do it Cat.
I ordered a Russian bride. But someone forgot to poke holes in the box.
Привет, Дзынь, детка, Tinkypoo!
Oh Tink....! Tee0-hee...
You know perfectly well your last blow-up doll left you for that travelling carnival & road show tattooed midget hermaphrodite.

Back to the thorn bushes..........

;-)
.
phyllis, WOOOO HOOOO!! PARTY ALL NIGHT, AND ALL DAY!! :D

Monkey, they do!! Wooo hooo!! ;)

Michelle, MAYBE!! :D

Art, Salon has dating site now too??? OH MY!! :D

jmac, whooohooo!! :D

Miguela, :D

jane, and a late morning grope and grab to you!! ;D

Sheila, and a morning too pretty for words!! ~:D

Margaret, you want SugarDaddy.com!! ~:D

jejune, yeah, I no fall for that scam!!!! Almost did at UsedPantiesfromPerformers.com!! Pickle juice!! EWWW!! :D

Algis, ~nodding~ POP GOES THE WEASEL!! :D

Abrawang, ~nodding~ I know, right? :D

Julie, maybe!! I'll ask!! ~:D

thefuddler, I've been told that too!! NSA likes to be tied up!! ~:D

Natalie, done and done!! ~:D

CreekEnd, pay for lap dances? What kind of prison do you show up at on Tuesdays??? :D

Frank, same here!! Awful!! :D

Marina, hi!! What? :D

sky, always in the thorn bushes!! ;D
No, no, no. Sleep with cats and dogs. They don't have fleas or tapeworms anymore because of all their tick and heartworm meds, and they never hog your favorite place on the bed. Plus, on a cold night, there's nothing better than a large cat sleeping on top of you.
Tink ~ I had to laugh at the ad copy at the top of the post. An evening that is still "lonely" despite the addition of an attractive Russian bride is clearly one very messed up evening!!
Mumble, oh my yes!! We are pretty nice ain't we!? :D

designanator, ~nod~ I had to giggle myself. Hey, if you still lonely with the Russian bride in the room, then, man, there ain't no hope for ya!! ~:D
All I can think about is you and whoever you are having the puppy together with.
rated with love
"guess what, there's strings, attached to the grenade which will soon explode in your face, and not in that good way"
The absolute definitive warning regarding internet relationships...
r./
Hmmmm, I've been to Russia and I met girls there. They didn't know what I was saying and kept asking me in sign language to sell them my jeans, but I didn't get any marriage proposals, which is probably a good thing given the fact that I was 17 at the time.
RP, I'll never tell!! ~;D

islandtime, and still, nobody listens!! :( ~:D

Cymraeg, I only had a few Russian girls want me to propose to them!! I didn't! Wifey would have gotten pissed(it was last week!! :D)
Tink,

I thought that NSA meant the National Security Agency. ;)

XOXOXO

P.S. Please send my best regards to your lovely wife and your new Russian bride. :)