In the beginning, there was like nothing and then something happened, possibly pretty awesome, or it could have been a whimper, who knows, nobody was around to give a 1st hand account.
Then more stuff happened.
And then there was light.
Or maybe someone invented the flashlight.
This probably all happened in like 1952.
Possibly more stuff happened, and then monkeys or rhinoceros or a turtle began to walk on two legs, which freed their hands for awesome stuff, like building atom bombs and masturbating.
Then, with a map from like Dayton, Ohio(1932), man kind moved across the earth, devouring everything in their path, and molesting goats!
Then, when all was settled, the ice age, which involved lots of ice cream and funnel cakes, decided to hit, a lot, numerous times or something.
Then the ice went on spring break and human beings were like, YAY!
And then World Wars hit and people were like, boo!
Rock and Roll fell upon the Earth around 19,812,090 or something.
It used actual rocks!
More stuff happened, possibly involving sex and drugs and the rest you know!
Good night and have a better tomorrow!