Tinkerertink69

Tinkerertink69
Location
Your closet, Indiana, France
Birthday
July 16
Title
President and CEO of Your Mom
Company
Your closet
Bio
Smell my Paws! Does that smell like poo to you? Writer? No way! I'm a guy with a cat who knows my passwords and likes to blog!! What? Oops, I mean, I'm a cat who likes to blog. Smell my paws!!! French prostitutes? Only on Tuesdays!! Lets cuddle!!

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Salon.com
MARCH 3, 2012 9:53AM

HISTORY OF THE WORLD IN ONE POST ---

Rate: 28 Flag

In the beginning, there was like nothing and then something happened, possibly pretty awesome, or it could have been a whimper, who knows, nobody was around to give a 1st hand account.

Then more stuff happened.

And then there was light.

Or maybe someone invented the flashlight.

This probably all happened in like 1952.

Possibly more stuff happened, and then monkeys or rhinoceros or a turtle began to walk on two legs, which freed their hands for awesome stuff, like building atom bombs and masturbating.

Then, with a map from like Dayton, Ohio(1932), man kind moved across the earth, devouring everything in their path, and molesting goats!

Then, when all was settled, the ice age, which involved lots of ice cream and funnel cakes, decided to hit, a lot, numerous times or something.

Then the ice went on spring break and human beings were like, YAY!

And then World Wars hit and people were like, boo!

Rock and Roll fell upon the Earth around 19,812,090 or something.

It used actual rocks!

More stuff happened, possibly involving sex and drugs and the rest you know!

Good night and have a better tomorrow!

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That about sums it up.
First! And Second!
Third too! I hit the trifecta of blog commenting. I'm off to the tracks.
What kind of sex and drugs have you been doing??? Three and a half stars and a whack up aside your kitty head!!
JMac
Hi Trudge!!! ~:D

I'm off to the tracks too!! Whooo!! :D

jmac, a lot!! ;D
Perfect. I will never figure out why they pay people to teach history when you explained if all in this small post. Great Job!
You forgot the hidden history of kitty litter and the unfolding super secret Obama peas plan...the green peas/lima beans proxy war to save Amerika on your dinner plate! Check out my most recent post 'Obama's Fly Open To Iran...'....wink
This post is even more fun if you read it in the "voice" of Eric Sevareid.
Blink fiction?
And I like it!
Walt: I've always been more of a Cronkite fan.

Tink: Maybe you could summarize the summary?

-R-
well, that explains a lot.
scanner, exactly!! All boils down to just stuff!! ~:D

Jejune, it all boils down into the stuff!!! :D

Walter, ~nod~ ~:D

J.P. ~nod~ :D Wait, not fiction though!! It all happened!! ~:D

L.E. stuff happened!! The end!! ~:D
Throw in some of the Newt's Algae, and we can have a party! R
Mime, it sure does!! ~:D
Jane, that happened in the stuff!! ~:D
Your version is pretty good. I also like Mel Brooks' History of the World, Part One. There wasn't any Part Two, for what reason I will never know. "Oh, Piss Boy! It's good to be the king!"
Well, Tink, I think you have laid the Intelligent Design Theory to rest.
R
This is what I always suspected. Your grasp of theology, history, and quantum physics leaves me grunting frenziedly in admiration.
You scientific types really tick me off!

Here's the real TRUTH...!!

In the beginning there was Great Cat and Great Cat said, "LET THERE BE NIP", and lo! There was NIP.

So one day, while tokin' a dube, Great Cat got the talkies but He din't have no one to talk to. He also got the munchies and din't have nuthin' to munch on. So then he said, "Let there be some real cool cats and lots'a Fancy Feast, and lo! There was Tinkerertink69, Miss page 31, Nigerian Princesses, some neat folks at OS, and a freakin' truckload of Fancy Feast.

And here we all are!!

Ain't that wunnerful?

Put your left hand on the part that hurts, sign a large cheque with your right hand, mail it today to Great Cat Ministries.

ᴼᴥƪ
.
Cold vanilla ice cream and a hot, freshly made funnel cake. I think I'm gonna cry. I'm lactose intolerant.
Hey! You forgot to say, "The End."
Tink, "More stuff happened, possibly involving sex and drugs and the rest you know!"--well, there are a few paragraphs of detail missing from the history that you might want to add in when the piece goes into its second printing!
Tink.
I lost a half-a-dozen comment earlier.
`
one optimistic farmer toddler
trying to teach a black poodle
how to suck a rubber pacifier
`
i would rather have cronkite narrate this,
severeid scared me.
"and that's the way it is..."

i wish i could get all the time & energy i spent
in history class after f-ing history class
when a few minutes' read
would bring me
up to speed.

You forgot to mention only one thing:
is there a purpose, or reason,
for history?
"This probably all happened in like 1952."

Tink solved the mystery of life!
Simple is always best.
pretty much sums it up!
As we will see tomorrow before you, FRed(tm)'ll
PM you early and let you know if it's a better day and worth getting up.

History huh? Never heard of it.
Wow. I had forgotten all that!
R
What channel was this please? The history channelI've been watching depicts history all wrong!
Are you taking this to PBS?
HUGGGGGGGGG
Well, thanks for making that perfectly clear.
cc, ~nodding~ Part two is still in the works!! ~:D

Gerald, there's no intelligence involved!! Just look at today!! ~:D

(What? :D)

Seer, ~nodding~ I love that show!!! I was inspired by History Channels HISTORY OF THE WORLD, 2 hours from day zero to like today!! It was awesome!! I figured, I'd boil it down to the nitty gritty!! ~:D

Cup Cake, I am pretty awesome ain't I? :D

sky, and everyone says, MEOW....:D

phyllis, damn world is a bitch ain't it??? :(

lefty, it doesn't end, it just goes on and on my friend...:D

designanator, when that happens, I'll just add lots of pics!! ~:D

Art, damn the comment messerupper system!! PFFFT!!!! :D

James, I think the reason history is there so we can repeat it!! ~nod~ ~:D

zuma, and now we must stop the trees from having sex!! Mine are having GAY TREE SEX!!! OH NOZE!! :D

CatholicGirl, ~nod~ That's what I've been told!! ~:D

trig, ~nodding~ Yes it does!! ;)

Linnnn, :D

Thank you, I'm here all week!! Teehee!! :D

CreekEnd, so how's the day doing??? :D

ASH, me too!! ~:D

Chrissie, History Channel, they're awesome!! ~:D Everything you wanted to know about anything but were afraid to ask!! Wooo!! ~:D

Linda, yes!! :D

trilogy, you welcome!! :D