This post is dedicated to the replacement Ed I Tor while Emily, our fearless leader and full time Ed, was on vacation.
Most people would be declared insane just by accepting the position as this place, Open.Salon, is a mad house on its best days and a funeral home on others.
Take that as a compliment my friends, I do.
Michael Humphrey, though not his real name(I discovered it was really Cindee Rogers and she's a super model --- take that for full disclosure!) stepped into some mighty big shoes to fill and as a temporary Ed I Tor, he knew the worse thing Kerry and Joan could do to him was to have him rubbed out by a Mob hit.
Michael tried to make soup sound like a grand open kitchen challenge like a true pro, as seen here, and who could disagree, soup is pretty sexy.
The kitchen challenges though are dumb. Gawd, those are like so 2007!!!!!!
But I digress.
I messaged Michael last night stating I thought he had sexy eyes.
Yes, I had a few, read that as a lot, of beers in me when I did but today, he replied back with a nicely worded message of hope.
"What the hell, I'm going to put you on the front cover today, what are they going to do, fire me?"
I thought he was joking but then he did call me 'The Mayor of Open.Salon' which I rapidly put on my resume.
Nobody reads the damn thing anyways, so what the hell, right?
But then, I went to my blog before I decided to drink more beer and go outside to potty and there, on my best work of fiction since 'I WAS A TEENAGE DRAG QUEEN....' I noticed an EDITOR'S PICK.
And then I rushed to the cover. Oh my lord! As my granny who isn't really my granny would say, "That fool done lost his mind!!!!"
My BLURRY FACE ON THE FRONT COVER!!!
Of course, I have to make full disclosure that the choice was actually done under threat I would piss on his roses if I wasn't put on the cover but hey, whatever gets the job done.
Also under full disclosure(stupid federal laws), I must also announce that I've been stalking the Palin brothers(HI TRIG!! HI NANA!!) for years and discovered some pretty interesting things about them.
According to Google, both of them died a few years ago. Sad but true.
Anyways, Michael, if Colorado doesn't work out, always remember, you'll always have a place on the second worse news agency, Lesbian Lunch, waiting for you.
Yes, the pay sucks, the benefits are non-existing and every so often, you'll have to write erotic Christian fiction using a donkey as the main character, but all in all, it's a sweat shop of news!
Good night and have a better tomorrow....