Day two, there seems to be a hush in the neighborhood, whispers, back and forth among the living.
"Why's Tink still home? Shouldn't he be at the brothel sucking dick?"
"Didn't you hear, he lost his job, laid off, downsized, sent to the minor leagues, etc. etc."
Neighbors all around gasp in horror.
I try to tell them, "I didn't lose my job, I know exactly where it is, in the toilet, flushed out to some sea, maybe the Sea of Japan, where it can be picked up by one of them dolphin fishers."
Day two, cleaned house, well at least living room, now can see the top of the coffee table. Amazing what you find doing this, letters from my sister, math homework from the fourth grade, a lock of Liberace's hair, oh Liberace, where are you when I need you the most?
A comb, not my style, or the wifey's. Ask her where it came from. She doesn't know. Throw it away, in one of many building garbage sacks. I also find manuals from my job, how to kill the slot system in three easy steps, actually just one,
"Step one: Unplug slot server, take dick out and piss in drive. Run away in glee!"
Memories, so many memories of days long gone, when I was cool, well, I was never cool, but at the very least I wasn't cold. Stupid cold front. Bring me some 60 degree weather so I can rake my lawn in the nude.
Weather lady, oh she still gives me wood, tells me from the television screen not to expect any warmer temps for a few, maybe tomorrow, if you're lucky, and if you're not, a blizzard!
I still lust after you weather lady from WAVE 3.
But wait, I go to Wave3.com weather page and, well, right now, supposedly in the upper 50s, tomorrow 60s, by end of week, maybe close to 70s, then by next Monday or Tuesday, icky rainy and back down in the 50s.
Oh neighbors, prepare yourself, hide your eyes, avert your kids' eyes for tomorrow, I do lawn work, in the nude!! Wooohooo!!
Good night and have a better tomorrow....
Next Tuesday, Tink will be at the Louisville Zoo, running around going, "I wanna see! I wanna see!!" along with wifey, her friend from online and her two adorable daughters who are about as old as Tink is in mind set!(If you guessed 7 to 9 years old, here's your lollipop!!!!! ;) )
Should be fun time....last time Tink was at zoo, the nice lady there, who is head of the gorilla exhibit wanted to keep him as a prime example of how evolution screwed the pooch.
Whatever that means.
Adios El Taco Fiends!!!