i started to live blog the spirit awards, my favorite of all the awards shows because it's all about peoples' passion projects, but the first sponsor shout out was for Open Salon -- good ad, btw -- so I figured Kerry was probably there sucking everything up with his huge giant eye, not to mention that all those creative people are going to start submitting posts to the Open Calls. okay, the paranoid moment is over.
Whew, i got mixed up and thought the host was that awful Russell brand with the huge hair. maybe coogan will be funny. and his hair is short and sans the giant birds' nest.
Ben introduces him. says coogan doesn’t interfere with the funny stuff in his movie. Oh, you’re so funny, ben. now go away.
Okay, coogan’s there and all the hip and cool and trendy hollywood types are there. you can spot the true low budget filmmakers because they don't have the spray-on tans or the designer duds. i love them all. making those kinds of films takes great courage and fortitude.
All the beautiful people mill around outside. Teri Hatcher is there. Why???? everyone seems to fit in. not hatcher. posing posing posing, of course. guess we'll find out why, later.
back to Coogan -- he's saying that the awards are about shared experience. eat...of not having seen most of the films. says these movies are not cookie cutter films like slumdog millionaire. (that is kind of funny.) Shit, slumdog will probably win here too. hope it's not it's a studio film. have to spread the award wealth around.
coogan goes on, sadly: topics of these movies rape, suicide, domestic violence. well, that is true, for sure. says he'd give his oscar to his maid. says his Maid got part in new mike myers film. Vicky Christine – woody allen award – best girl on girl action. The wrestler – Michael Bolton cutting off hair. Gave to mickey rourke for movie. Major comeback history. enough coogan.
Aaron Eckhart and Robin Wright Penn – stunning couple.
Best first feature – haven’t seen any of them. “medicine for melancholy”. Lots of applause. ‘hate the city but I love the city’ “this is a one night stand” pan to audience. Actor holding and petting large liquor bottle. Spanish film, missed title. “sleep dealer” set in future that looks like today. Dark and murky. Scary. “synecdoche, new york” – phillip Seymour and hope davis. Looks like Sayles film. Must be produced by him. Catherine keene, of course. she's the queen of independent films. very very cool.
this last one is the one people have actually seen so it wins!! accepting is a kind of cute little guy compensating with big hair and big beard. Says award or something is crap. oh, god. it's Charlie Kaufman. now i'm mortified. he's a complete genius. first time directing. he wrote Adaptation and other wonderul ones i can't think of. Oh also stars michelle Williams, diane wiest, fuck, what a cast!! Samantha morton. Of course they only show large Seymour Hoffman and keener. well, michelle williams too.
Best supporting female – lovely woman from Frozen River, Debra Winger who looks young and cute sans surgery, I think. And, of course, Penelope Cruz wins. Cool brown designer dress. Short with fun flamenco ruffles and top I can’t describe. Thanks Pervert Woody -- im' sorry but marrying your step-daughter is so not cool. very very creepy. Cruz is funny. says Allen went to dermatologist about new freckle on his hand -- his hypochondria is no joke, apparently. he went on day Penelope kissed another woman. Very funny. Dedicates to family. Very sweet.
Oh shit, its the Goody Bag room. people pawing the giant sunglasses. and the piaget watches. hope the poor directors and producers get this stuff too and not just the rich and famous. oh, crap, i'm so envious. they are showing a furry purse shaped like an alligator!!! I want it. It’s early kindergarten to the T. oh, i'm being covetous. sorry, God.
My favorite is on. i love love love the song parodies! first song about Ballast. To tune of “just a little bit", mentions crack. Tariji Henson, someone in rubber bodysuit and someone I don’t recognize.
okay, it's time for the head of IFC, Dawn Hudson – now i love Dawn. she's extremely hard-working and passionate about ifc and the films and has been there for decades. but she has no charisma at all. none. she's attractive but kind of faded looking and always has been. Volunteered there for a bit but I wouldn’t shut up – undiagnosed bipolar 2 – so I fired myself. Dawn couldn't have been lovelier. she's thanking everyone, with no charisma, sadly. So wish she’d get public speaking help. Thanx netflix, manolah vargis at new york times, film critic.
Dawn is excited, not that you can tell, first "Garnier for Project Operation" award. Don’t understand it. Dawn describes what ifc does . please, dawn, since you’re clearly there for the next few decades too, take some charm and speaking classes. please.
Oh, shit, Drew Barrymore on video. i'm kind of tired of her. too perky and cute for me. apologies to her big fans. Being funny. hi Cameron and Lucy, her friends from charlie’s angels. shout out to Darren aronosky – she loves the script but needs to talk to him about anal scene. Ha ha.
Yeahhhhh!! It’s my Sandra Oh and Brian Cranston. Loved Oh since Arliss on hbo. Think I was the only viewer, but oh was so so cool in outstandingly fabulous clothes. presenting John cassavetes award, forget what this is about. didn't catch winner cus still obsesssing about alligator purse.
Coogan back. Says is big container for everyone deposit drugs. Says the drugs are all shit. Ha ha. Vicky Christina Barcelona is pimped. Someone needs to give me a good definition of independent film. If the film has enough money to advertise in prime time, doesn’t seem fair that it has parity with films with a tiny budget, passion projects.
okay, what is this category? John Cassavetes people? “take out” is only one got title of. “turn the river” – oh, famke janssen, kind of like her. “in search of.....” not sure who won. but it's great cus it's low low budget, makers slept on people’s couches. This, to me, is independent film. They are all so excited, not dawn Hudson excited truly excited! Sandra oh is clapping. i love her so much. Credit cards maxed out. Guy so cute with suspenders. Too shy talk to big people in room.
Anne Hathaway – Rachel Getting Married – all clips look murky and dark, I realize. Hathaway acting bizarre and druggie. Ho hum. oh, wow, it's Jonathan Demme film. okay, i'm on board. i think he did "big Chill", "grand canyon". not sure.
Now music from group don’t recognize singing parody song. Not good, not parody. Well, few people sit dancing to it. Oh, go away. Well, does give me time to change font and set margins and fill in some words. Oh, I’m wrong. Loud applause.
we go behind the scenes again. Eric Roberts yelling on red carpet. what else is new?
two pretend presenters – Christian Bale and Joachin Phoenix. Huge beard, mumbling, bat suit, yelling at Joachin, of course. Very cute and funny. now pretend Bale Yelling at everyone. Joachin still mumbling into huge beard.
they present: Best doc "The Betrayal" Going to be Man on Wire! i would bet on it. most publicity. outstanding ratings. "order of myths", "up the Yangtze". fake Joachim cant open envelope.
"Man on Wire" wins, of course, because i am awesome. Only one everyone’s seen and phillipe petit is so adorable and freaking fearless.
Oh lord, just finally realized (duh) no breaks because on IFC channel.
Back to goody bag rooms. Piaget, etc. stars grabbing stuff. again, hoping this shit goes to poor people too. people who cant afford it.
Jason Bateman, Ellen Page – bateman ribs her about porno since movie names sound dirty: hard candy, whip it, x-men. Talk sequel to Juno called "why juno doesn’t swallow anymore". surprised to get laffs.
Best female lead – himmm, Penelope Cruz, Anne Hathawy. And then sweet actresses from invisible films. This is so unfair, pisses me off every year. Oh, yes, Melissa Leo --- she might win. Yes, yes, yes, yes. She rocked the part. Fantastic performance. Pleaes, god, let her win. Please. I’ll stop nagging you for a week. Tarrat Riggs from Ballast. Excellent in clip. Michelle Williams in Wendy and Lucy. Looks boyish and has dark brown hair.
Leo wins! Oh god, thank you. no nagging for a week. Everything is right with the universe. Her dress is kind of funky, fluttery and unflattering as is her 1970s hair but who gives shit. Thanks her fellow true independents. Has long list. Oh shit. Hate the long lists. People she mentions give thumbs up. Thanks journalists, bloggers who promoted film. theater in Albany held film for 8 fucking weeks. wow, that is amazingly wonderful. Oh, she’s about to cry. To all watching on tv, she gives shout out. Thanks co-star misty upham? she's excellent in film.Thanks local people. Yeah independence. Arm up. She rocks.
Song – Teri Hatcher, arggghhhh – off key, rubber suit again, okay, these are backup singers. usual is all actors singing. The bitch is off key. Teri in semi-bondage clothes. Stupidly trying to be sexy. God, I miss the singers of teh past years.
Claire Danes, wearing gorgeous necklace,
and John C Reilly – shit, don’t understand this. oh, grant awards. “someone to watch” award. Directors. This is cool. Award – lynn Shelton, director “my effortless brilliant” cute in green. Blown away to make list of nominees. Doesn’t have speech. Sean nelson – film built around him. Thanks family for support. Lives and makes films in seattle. Oh, cool, she’s encouraging would-be filmmakers. Very very cool.
Much milling about in VIP lounge. Champagne, photo taking. John Hamm and Jennifer something, whose acting I don’t care for but i think she's probably great. Kissing Jessica Stein, just on Grey's Anatomy.. been together long time. Don’t look happy together. Please find other partners, guys. millions clamor for Hamm.
Andy Mcdowell and Thomas Hayden Church present --- please give me huge huge props for remembering all these names with an addled brain -- I don’t’ know what. Frozen River wins sometihng i missed. heather rae, cute tattoo and dress. Producer. No other skills but pie-making. Thanks Courtney hunt who mouths “I love you”. Gracefully thanks everyone. Dress too long. Looks like comes from ross for less. I love that. Of course she has no money. She’s a true independent girl. Melissa Leo doing weird, arm thing, maybe yoga. Grateful, I guess.
Bradley Cooper and Elisabeth Banks present. Banks kind of hot mess – bad messy hair, odd short red fancy dress. Wish everyone would just wear jeans like Maria Bello wore one year. she looked so comfortable and casual. Get Banks mixed up all the time with Rachel macadams. Anyone else? Bueller? Lacoste "truer than fiction" award goes to oh, shit, missed name. that sucks.
Shit, Lucy Liu and Emile Hirsch. Pervert Allen wins. must be best director. shit. he's not there, of course. probably found a new freckle on his hand.
Milling about outside. Mickey rourke. Catherine keener.
Melissa Leo introduces Frozen River. Great murky and dark clip. Again.
Christina Applegate in black, too much black, voluminous black coat, to tune of "big wheel keeps on turning". Very very good. the girl's got rythum and style.
Rosie Perez presents – hates Penelope, calls her fly bitch or sly bitch - and Giovanni Ribisi. Rosie sooo freaking adorable and funny.
Best foreign film – Gomorrah, hunger, secret of the grain, missed one, shoot, silent light, dark themes of course. Award to the class, the one I missed. This one looks hopeful in clips. Winner walks sloooowly to microphone. He’s French. Decent English. Accent very charming – hear that, Dawn Hudson. Maybe you try halting French accent, only say all this because I think you’re great otherwise. Oh, love this guy.
People milling around outside and at the bar, of course. especially at bar.
I HATE having no commercials, and i usually fast forward them like everyone else. hey, Gimme a Break hee hee. who knew this applied to this kind of situation?
People I don’t recognize present. funny. argue moot versus mute. Ha ha. Musicians, show on ifc. Best Cinematography. Ballast, medicine for melancholy, milk – here we go, chop shop.
oh, cool, Wrestler guy wins. I like to see it mixed up. Everybody getting a little piece of the pie. Shit, coogan again. I didn’t like hamlet 2 and so wanted to. bitter towards him.
Cameron diaz – trying to be funny, seems very dumb. Horizontal black and red dress, doesn’t work. Hair dirty and a mess. Can’t pronounce senecdoche, ny. Says it wrong twice. Show clips from movie. looks like great film. wow, Jennifer Jason leigh is in it too. Cast is outstanding. Charlie kaufman’s first directing.
oh wow, it gets Robert Altman award, now that is a hip and cool one to win. Cast sloooowly drifts up to podium. Look like going to funeral. Love Catherine Keener. And fuck you, Dermot mulrooney, for breaking up with her. Seymour Hoffman glad he said yes. Now little Charlie Kaufman thanks ensemble cast. Oh, Emily Watson too. Get this freaking film to dvd, dudes. i need to see this. Kaufman has list but says it fast.
Keener says they’re honored and moves on out. Now, she looks appropriate. Silky pattern shirt and pants and, of course, the requisite bedhead hair because they all fucked someone before they came to show show. its required.
Rainn Wilson in Wrestler get-up. to tune "I feel good" but sings I feel Bad. will staple his nads. Blond wig, neon green pants of some kind. Leggings, I guess. Can’t sing but lots of over the top funny acting. repeats Ramjam ram jam. what is that? Audience joins in happily. Now this is a spirit awards song!
Where is illeana Douglas??? She does the best song performances. oh, there she is, in a very flattering and fun dress. sing, girl, sing.
Laura Dern and Phillip Hoffman, since he hasn’t had enough attention, present Best Male Lead, seymour hoffman wishes got Javier role in Vicky Christina. Sean Penn – hmmm, wonder who will win, again with the dark and murky clip, wft? These are film awards. Oh, Richard Jenkins in The Visitor – he deserves every award there is. This is an outstanding film. Same guy who directed the fabulous The Station Agent. Jeremy Renner, "the hurt locker", oh lord, bombs, probably iraq story. Mickey Rourke – with filthy bedhead hair, awful awful awful. But it’s Mickey and he’s come back and it’s inspiring. Oh wow, and Javier Bardem the magnificent, this is a real contest.
Winner – Mickey Rourke. Oh yes, I was pulling for him. The hair is matted in the back. He needs his dogs to take better care of him.Thanked his dogs at sags or golden globes. I loved it but everyone else thought it was weird. Ef em. some of us value our interspecies families.
he gives shout out to eric Roberts. Eric grabs his head and laughs. Says eric deserves second chance. Probably blacklisted because Julia Roberts hates him for not being good dad to Emma. Dog died 6 days ago. Oh, he’s tearing up.; thanks to police dept giving him place to sleep. Asked for two pillows, police told him to fuck off. Missed so much of what he said. thanx director Darren Aronofsky. One tough son of a bitch. If actors aint got balls to bring it then fuck em. something bout little blond girl. sounds dirty.Thanks all the girls work on film, calls little one Gap Tooth. Marisa tomei. shit, he almost forgot leading lady. says not many girls can climb the pole, like she did. Gives her props for that. Had to drag her out of her trailer to do it. Thanks Wrestling Federation.
more Rourke thank you: Something dirty about wrestlers being on the road and getting lonely. says publicist bossy, told him what to do. Thanking everyone in the world but in funny way. Very poignant. I love a good comeback when someone is grateful and not bitter, like I would probably be.
shit shit shit, this sucks. the video of his speech was on eonline.com but they took it off for profanity. i'll get you the youtube version. okay, this is strange and sucky. same deal. speech removed by user on youtube. what does that mean and isn't it against the first amendment? i mean, man, he wasn't even that profane. well, by my standards. if someone finds it, tell me and i post link. too tired do that tonite.
John Waters! And Zoe Deschanel (looking adorable as always) -- she says Mickey broke the microphone. Says people not playing by the rules. ex: Chop shop really cost 45 million and it’s NOT on the screen. Mocks a bunch of films. Chop Shop, Rachel Getting Married, Ballast, Frozen River, The visitor.
all right!! best director Spirit award goes to Tom Mccarthy (The Station Agent), who is great director. Big big beard. Yes!! Winning award thing, just a lovely guy. Wants everyone up there with him. Cinematographer. shout out to "Dickie" Jenkins. Richard Jenkins smiling. This is very sweet. People who didn’t’ win smiling gracefully.
Honorary chairman – Alec Baldwin whom I adore. Says wants back into the movie business. Get dog, start working out (a la Rourke). Seconds Eric Roberts shout out. Funny funny funny. Hard to get everything right. A miracle.
presents Best Feature: Ballast, Frozen River, Rachel Getting Married, Wendy and Lucy (the dog), The Wrestler. Shit, oh, The wrestler and Mickeys dirty matted hair. This is very cool. Aronofsky seems like a doll. Oh, Matted Mickey isn’t going up. Okay, now I see, it’s not matted, it’s a kind of little chignon in the back. how lovely.
Hmmm Producer boring. Probably nervous. Thanks family. Sweet. son born 6 weeks before began filming. It was rough, he says. Every film is a passion piece. See, I told you. That’s what it should be. I’m so freaking smahht about all of this. oh, he’s married to Rachel Weiss. She looks pretty but also pretty unenthused. Maybe shy of camera because not all made up and dressed. Okay, now she's happy, high five with Mickey.
Steve Coogan says something funny and IT'S OVER. God, I miss John Waters. I want Ricky Gervais, she whines.
Crowd mingling: Eric Roberts play slapping Alec Baldwin. he's such a card. Mingling and networking and posing some more. shit, Lucy Liu again. I swear Lucy Liu is kiss of death to any tv show she’s on. The girl cannot act. Always the same. Dirty Sexy Money, Ugly Betty went so downhill, others can't remember.
Okay, that was good and satisfying. Coogan hardly spoke, thank god/gd. Love that. And the awards were spread around. no awards for slumdog, guess it’s not independent. Good, would have swept everything, like at globes. Now I give baby carrots to puppies. they LOVE baby carrots. And i'll eat mass quantities on my new weight gaining diet. shit, that's all i've been doing so might as well feel successfull.
i will keep adding photos. IFC channel running really slow. probably my effing computer. whatever. now Please RATE this if you like it at all. like you all, i love getting attention for my work.