Boys and girls, Gather round.
I want to tell you a little known story about your bodies. Although you may not realize this, each wonderful, good, little girl, from the time she is born has a tiny little Vagina Fairy living in her body. This Vagina Fairy lives in that little bump of tissue, a sort of fairy apartment house, at the very front of each little girl's private parts.
Her job is to watch and make certain that, whenever the little girl has sexual intercourse, that wonderful life giving fluid with its tiny miracle fishes gets to the little girl's egg - because that is the only real purpose for intercourse.
Of course, the magic fish only reaches the egg when the little girl wants it to happen. If she is forced to have sex, the Vagina Fairy sprinkles a special kind of salt on the life-giving fluid and it gets all curdled.
Remember that, get pregnant, girl wanted it. Even if she cried a bit, deep inside she wanted it. Even if she had to be held down, the minx; she was just teasing. (Sometimes, we call girls who want it and aren't married, well, we call them sluts - and is sort of OK but not in front of your Mommy.)
Oh, girls. And you must never, never touch the Vagina Fairy's little house. That's nasty because all the furniture inside gets all disturbed and moved around.
Next week we'll talk about how oral sex causes tooth decay (if a man does it).
The week after that, the last of our series is entitled 'the man is always on top because God wants it that way.'
This series is brought to you by Congressman Toss Akin, Republican of Missouri.
If you want to email Rep Akin and thank him for his insight on this issue, go to this link
https://forms.house.gov/akin/webforms/issue_subscribe.htm
you can call or fax him at these numbers.
Washington D.C. Office
117 Cannon House Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20515
Phone: (202) 225-2561
Fax: (202) 225-2563
St. Louis Office
301 Sovereign Court, Suite 201
Ballwin, MO. 63011
Phone: (314)-590-0029
Fax: (314)-590-0037
St. Charles Office
820 S. Main, Suite 206
St. Charles, MO. 63301
Phone: (636)-949-6826
Fax: (636)-949-3832
I'm certain he will enjoy the feedback.
(image above used through the Creative Commons)
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Alan Milner
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Comments
Judy, if your little VF has been busy, her house might have some glitter on it. That's how you can tell.
Nicely done, Trav.
@Alyssa
I can't give direct contact info for the VF but, if you'll read the post, I give directions to her residence and I'm certain somewhere there can help you find it.
Lew
r
'where do we find these idiots'
- often in places the public puts them - unfortunately
"Awesome post! And I wasted all that money on birth control all these years!"
Someone needs to have a stern talk with your VF.
Thanks for visiting and commenting.
Lew
One of the genuine values of relatively free speech in our society is that morons and moral imbeciles have the opportunity to display themselves. The unfortunate downside of that very thing is that there so many of them are revealed. Perhaps they should not be allowed to breed.
I think that abortion is too complex an issue that spans too many areas of concern to have an absolute stance on it, no matter what it is.
What bothers me is that people use ignorance on factual matters and absolute moral prejudices to inform their public opinions.
What I am thankful for in this situation is videotape and the Internet so that his opinions and dramatic ignorance - willful or just home grown - are preserved.
Lew
"And to think I never knew! Wow."
Yes, a flashlight, a magnifying mirror and a little privacy and all will be revealed.
Breeding with the opposite sex would dilute their psychoses of immaculate virility. Since try as they might to breed among themselves to at least maintain when not hopefully enhance their powers of insight, they must rely on cloning.
And Kosher...didn't you mean "Right in"?
Sorry, I don't get the meaning of your comment. I am an insensible person and excessive subtlety defeats itself with me.
@ anti-terror
@ Witchywmn
@ Barbara Joanne
@ Dianne Schuch - Lindsey
@ jlsathre
Thank you each and every one for reading, commenting and the occasional R.
Although there is the temptation to answer you singly and up the response count, that is too obvious a self-aggrandisment so, thanks as a group.
Lew
~r
@ Dee
Thanks.
I got the curdling idea from an interesting book entitled 'Little known facts about semen.'
Lezlie
If they were required to have an IQ of at least 100, then half the country wouldn't be represented so the stupid people in Congress do serve a constituency.
Two points:
The unfortunate reality is that The House of Representatives is a true cross section of the people in this country, however unfortunate that may be. (Senators are generally a cut above this).
Second, someone doesn't have to be stupid to be ignorant, although it helps with the cognitive dissonance issue. Every day people ignore facts in order to make their opinions fit their beliefs. It happens in Congress, it happens here.
" And I'm very taken with the illustration!"
That is a real picture, taken with a special camera.
@theig86
"The "Vagina Fairy"? Maaann... this is really going to make "The Talk" with my daughter more interesting when the time comes."
Well, according to the latest info from the same medical experts who learned about the rape-anti-conception reflex, talking to your children about s-x, v-gina, m@stub@tion or anything like that, just puts nasty ideas in their mind.
They'll find out on their wedding night like all good girls should.
Lew
More importantly, your post is a gem.
Great stuff. R>>>>>>>>
thanks for reading and commenting
Lew