Boys and girls, Gather round.
I want to tell you a little known story about your bodies. Although you may not realize this, each wonderful, good, little girl, from the time she is born has a tiny little Vagina Fairy living in her body. This Vagina Fairy lives in that little bump of tissue, a sort of fairy apartment house, at the very front of each little girl's private parts.
Her job is to watch and make certain that, whenever the little girl has sexual intercourse, that wonderful life giving fluid with its tiny miracle fishes gets to the little girl's egg - because that is the only real purpose for intercourse.
Of course, the magic fish only reaches the egg when the little girl wants it to happen. If she is forced to have sex, the Vagina Fairy sprinkles a special kind of salt on the life-giving fluid and it gets all curdled.
Remember that, get pregnant, girl wanted it. Even if she cried a bit, deep inside she wanted it. Even if she had to be held down, the minx; she was just teasing. (Sometimes, we call girls who want it and aren't married, well, we call them sluts - and is sort of OK but not in front of your Mommy.)
Oh, girls. And you must never, never touch the Vagina Fairy's little house. That's nasty because all the furniture inside gets all disturbed and moved around.
Next week we'll talk about how oral sex causes tooth decay (if a man does it).
The week after that, the last of our series is entitled 'the man is always on top because God wants it that way.'
This series is brought to you by Congressman Toss Akin, Republican of Missouri.
If you want to email Rep Akin and thank him for his insight on this issue, go to this link
you can call or fax him at these numbers.
Washington D.C. Office
St. Louis Office
St. Charles Office
820 S. Main, Suite 206
St. Charles, MO. 63301
I'm certain he will enjoy the feedback.
(image above used through the Creative Commons)