have i not always remained true to my word?
have i given any reason to Doubt?
that i would remain, standing in Strength,
even if it means putting you out?
for if you don’t come in, you are but a stray;
a feral, a stalker, a taker.
skulking about for the food that you need;
snoogling up to the Neighbors.
ratty-ass behavior and ill-timed jokes
simply do not make you dear.
did i allow you to behave like this?
did i even invite you here?
no, it was neither, we happened to meet,
and a mutuality started right then.
the conversation was simple and light,
but in you i saw a comrade, a friend.
my word, the things we have in common!
so many steps taken on the same road.
the recognition was undeniable;
then and there a steam arose.
in each succeeding conversation,
we kept finding our own kindred kind.
the release, the relief of recognition;
our private souls, finally recognized.
there seemed to be nothing to stop us.
and so many plans were made.
but i couldn’t know your past or your future;
i knew only your present place.
and i only knew the words you used,
and it’s true i held each one dear.
as we evoked the fineness of each other,
no hesitation, no stumbling; no fear.
i told you of my need for fidelity,
and that i knew i was only accountable to me;
but all i wanted was to be a good woman,
and when you said the same, i believed.
we spoke of our love and its fineness,
bravely exploring our inner selves.
no longer afraid with each other;
there was nothing that we withheld.
we laughed over life’s situations,
both good and bad streaks of luck.
even those were the same between us -
and everything led to a deeper love.
so by friendship we both found our lovers.
the ones we would never lose.
we bore the same badges, we bore the same scars,
there was nothing ahead but the road to truth.
but you turned around and went on alone,
you said you needed some internal time.
and of course i said go on, now, i love you;
have no fear, i will stay by your side.
it was wild and wanton, it was a treat,
and life unfolded as we became Us.
but in the wisp of a word, the situation spun,
the withering started; we were just not enough.
denied the life i wanted to live up to,
i had to let go of my heart of need.
and the fruit that we seemed just rotted on the vine,
as you let go of me.