Damion Chaplin

Damion Chaplin
Bay Area, California, Earth
August 22
Rev. Dr. Taciturn
Please read my ongoing sci-fi story at: http://open.salon.com/blog/aric_dante Look for a new entry every Friday.


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MARCH 22, 2010 3:16PM

I Have Never Removed So Many Favorites in My Life

Rate: 38 Flag

     I have found the last 72 hours very enlightening.

     I respected quite a few people here, and now for a surpisingly-large number them, that respect level is at zero. 

     So many people I actually liked have run to defend that which is indefensible.  I am not speaking of plagiarism, I am speaking of appalling, childish behavior that would cause someone to get their teeth kicked in (and probably get arrested) if they said it in public.

     By doing so, they have shown me (and quite a few others) their true colors.

     So, it's real easy:  I have removed them from my Favorites.  I do not want to see anything written by them show up on my blog.  I would rather not be reminded of their presence.  I am no longer interested in any opinion they may have to offer.  I will avoid posts written by them from now on. 

     I know they probably couldn't care less about this, but quite frankly that's one of the reasons I have lost respect for them.

     However, I would like to extend a heartwarming "Thank You" to them for not stringing me along any further.  Sooner or later I would have found out what kind of person they were, and I'm very glad to not be wasting my time any longer.

     Also, I would like to express my gratitude for teaching me the data and lessons they did over the last 72 hours.  It is not something I will soon forget.

     With all sincerity, I hope they have a great life.  Without me.


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dfc, mean people suck

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I seem to miss all of the fun around here. Civility is a quality that I have found to be shrinking on a regular basis. Still, I would hope that snark doesn't win out and we can find that to be a quality worth embracing. Anger is ugly and is inappropriate when trying to teach a novice the rules of the game. Assume does indeed make asses of u and me.
Bravo. Having no idea whom you removed (delisted ? defavorited?), this is the appropriate response. You might want to keep an eye out in case an enterprising, conservative grad student uses this post to support a thesis on free market theory applied to the blogosphere.
It is always good to do some spring cleaning of the Favorites list. I just finished doing the same thing myself.

Yes, I did the same thing over the weekend. Spring cleaning indeed.
You must do what you feel is right. I feel this post is straight forward and honest. Thank you for sharing.
Gee, I've only had 6 favorites from the get-go (nearly 3 months now) because it looked like that's all that could fit in the 2X3 thumbnail section. I didn't realize you could add more until now. Wow.

aaaah, I just stick with my 6. But no need to delete any of 'em.

But, I hear ya and in principle, I'll be doing the same.
Good for you. I've only been here since the end of December, but the confrontation and mob mentality does seem to be increasing in frequency. And as bobot noted, there seems to be a direct inverse relationship to civility. -r
Would this be the same as "defriending"?
I did a little of that myself.
The internet offers an interesting lens into motivations we might not otherwise see. I sometimes think it's akin to having X-ray vision, or being able to read people's minds. My perceptions of people in "real life" social situations has changed profoundly since I started participating in forums like OS. I feel as though I am now more aware of attitudes, hidden agendae and motives that I'd been previously oblivious to.
So, I guess now everyone's going to be wondering who removed who!
This has made me add you as a favorite. And I love your last name.
I cannot in good conscience as a writer, critic and educator knowingly associate with people who plagiarize, and who promote/defend people who do. Same thing goes for the (often) same people who defend/belittle misogyny whatever the provocation, and in this case, if people actually read the original post, it was minor considering the unbelievably obscenity and viciousness of the responses.

I refuse to go against every principle I have to belong to OS. People who cheat at the little things also cheat at the big things. I've never known that to be untrue.
*should read: unbelievable obscenity
For my own sanity, I have decided to do exactly what you have done. It took me about 18 months to learn that lessons. You are much smarter.
My favorites list is very different than it was even five months ago. There are always wonderful new writers to be discovered.
An honest read. I guess that I am otherwise oblivious to whatever goes on online-deliberately so. I'd far rather not even go down that path. Still, eliminating favorites is one way of clearing out one's online trash can.

i too have changed my view of who i will and will not read based on the past few days errr..activities.

while i do fall on the same side of the fence as you when it comes to the act of or defense of plagiarism, there were people on both sides behaving badly. i'm disappointed. i understand the anger and indignation, but i'm still disappointed.
It is like mold removing. It needs to be done time to time!
Well!-- I'm so happy that I'm NOT on the removed list.
You never favorite-d ME at all
I didn't remove any favorites and I think all the people you probably removed are on my favorites list. I may not be as scrappy but I am as human as all of them... I also spent last Saturday outside lying on a dock on my favorite lake, Little Sebago and listening to the water lap on the shore... the ice is out on the lakes in Maine and I am enjoying the warmer weather... I read my favorite book... a real book made of paper... sometimes it is good to step out and away from the box...
IF there is one problem that could be solved with a couple of minutes worth of programming it would be to notify members when they have been "dis-favored."

If you think it through, OS has a positive feedback loop, if you think being made a favorite is a positive thing....but the only negative feedback we get is when we don't get read, rated, or favored.

I would help tremendously if those who are being disfavored were informed they were being disfavored.
Cool! You're writing fiction! Wouldn't have come across if you hadn't posted this. So, you go on my favorites list.
Amen. You can stand on principle and still be civil.
Good for you. The only drama I like is that I write or the fiction my friends write. Not the kind that must be stirred up and kept going. I have gotten a HUGE headache over the last couple of days due to the drama. I prefer low key myself. Because of your wise way of handling it you go on my fav list if you don't mind. You also have me looking at my own a little harder as well. Have a great day!
Oooh, what a fine idea (don't worry, your'e staying on my list) :)
I must have missed something, which is cool!! Whooo!! :)

I just let people mold on my fav-list till they fall off!! ;)
yes, I did the same.
I only let a couple of them go - I actually added more.

Am I doing this wrong?????

Oh, never mind. Someone is BOUND to tell me what I'm doing wrong.

Damion, thanks for a good post! ~r!!
But then we find a few too....
I don't blame you. I went through something similar a while back. That said, I'm glad I'm still on your list. :-)
Damn, I didn't even know I was one of your favorites
I still have dead people on my favorites' list - can't bring myself to remove them.

I have my very private never-never list of non-favorites. Just as well there's no official non-favorites/DO-NOT-READ-OR-IF-OCCASIONALLY-PEEK-DEFINITELY-NEVER-COMMENT list right under the Favorites list.
What M. Chariot said. Verbatum. In quotes. Completely attributed to M. Chariot. With a link (if I could). :)
Either we were never friends or you removed me. Okay.

Once I saw a car with a little square sticker that said Mean People Suck. I drove back around the block to make sure I saw it.

I too have weeded my favorites.
We need to educate/re-educate any miscreants here, not punish them for having been mistaken once. That being said, I wasn't in on the fracas, and don't mind having been absent from the scene till after it had ended.
My rule is, if it's a first offense, try and be diplomatic and polite while taking into account a person's ignorance can be corrected when handled with grace. And if there's a further offense, try to keep a calm lookout, as mud-slinging hurts everyone---even innocent bystanders may get splattered.
As for the indignity so many of us were accused of, I would say it's time we all remembered we are in this as a group and must respect one another. Our de-friending may or may not ease the pain of the past, but it may start us on the fresh path which feels better.
Poor Woman: I am not referring to anyone 'having been mistaken'. I am referring to people being nasty, rude misogynistic jerks. This wasn't even people getting hot-headed and loosing their cool. Everyone does that. This was people being genuinely heinous. I would expect more civility from Satan himself. My 5-year-old nephew knows more about manners and civility than any of these people do.
I, too refuse to participate in the drama that goes on around the site. In fact, I won't even read about it. I appreciate your stand on this issue as well.
I'm quite behind on my reading - my apologies, Damion. I was busy burying myself in a pile of feeling sorry for my self, but now that the sun has finally broken through thanks to the miracle of modern pharmaceuticals (YES!) I'm trying to catch up.

Can I just say a hail and hearty AMEN to what you've said here? I couldn't agree more.

I'ev also done the same every now and then. Sometimes for the reasons you mentioned above . Other times because they were added based on the fact they had added me to their favs. and I felt I had to return the compliment. I soon found that I had no time to read half of the favs. I had. A worse offense, I felt in the inabilty to respond to all. I too have added you to my favs for this post because I agree. ~R