Do you ever look back on your life and wonder, "How did I get here?" This is definitely not where I pictured myself when I imagined life at 31.
The truth is, I never thought I would live past 16. Then, when I reached 16, I never thought I would make it to 28. At about 25 I forgot that I thought I was going to die before 30. Maybe I forgot that I thought I was going to die because at that point I wished I would.
Backtrack. Although at 16 I couldn't imagine what life after 28 would be like, I did have age-related goals in mind as far as life's milestones go (were I to live, that is):
1) I would ever marry before 30. (I married at 22.)
2) I believed I would not have children before 34. (I haven't - although I never thought it would be through any other circumstance than by choice. Ironically, I wish I had children already.)
3) I never thought I would get divorced. (I officially left my husband in the fall of 2008.) I am now divorced.
So, here I am. 31. Living in Florida. I like my job - that is, when my office-mate is in good humor and I have had enough sleep the night before. The best part is (thank God), I don't have to deal with the public and I'm learning a lot.
Besides work, I drink coffee every morning with my mate, pinch pennies to make ends meet, go to Brazilian jiujitsu class (or the gym) when I can, attend school online, and daydream about moving to Portland and a miracle pill that will allow me to sleep for 30 minutes and feel as though I had just had a full night of quality sleep. If only.
Sometimes I still hear my ex-husband yelling in my ears, "Joules, what the hell are you doing with your life?!"
I have an answer now: I'm learning.