- the Coast, Oregon,
- September 01
MY RECENT POSTS
- Baltimore's Spectacular Losers
June 15, 2010 04:58AM
- From the Mouths of Thomas Dick
Harry and OS Babes
June 09, 2010 02:23AM
- Whites Only Picnic....Pass the
June 07, 2010 09:18PM
- A Milf, an Octocom and a
Hyspanic Walk into a Bar...
June 04, 2010 10:40AM
- I'm Sorry I Called Your Wife A
May 28, 2010 04:51PM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “Sometimes the schaden
August 17, 2012 01:30AM
- “You know what this guy
should hold between his knees?
February 18, 2012 01:43AM
to form an…”
February 09, 2012 01:49AM
- “Your last two words are
words to live by.
get your wish.”
April 22, 2011 05:14PM
- “Can I be a roadie in the
Foghat reunion tour
I make a mean batch
April 13, 2011 04:59PM
Mr Fawkes's Links
- MY LINKS
The ship is taking on water. Mutiny is in the wind. Overboard they flee.
I wish I could join them, release myself from this miserable season on the brink . But I am, and always will be a Baltimore Oriole. And I hope we lose 121 games this season.… Read full post »
One has reported on wars. The next one weaseled out of a war but started two more. And the last one made three war movies. That's about all they have in common--Helen Thomas, Dick Cheney and Dirty Harry. And they are all old and they are all white. And some strange,… Read full post »
It is always a great day when the mailbox opens and an unexpected package is waiting. Even if the package was sent by your spooky uncle who you haven't heard from in eight years. From the enclosed letter, it appears I made quite an impression on uncle spooky's… Read full post »
It rained for seven straight Mondays this week. From where I sit this week was the perfect storm of disappointment and misery. From the first lousy email on Monday to the next unsettling phone call on Monday to the last shitty… Read full post »
It's all about the give and the take. After eight years of small town living, I finally figured that out. I gave up my anonymity when I moved here. And I must take a dart, once a month or so, throw it at the Oregon map and get the flock out… Read full post »
Two OS Open Calls: Twelve movies that you can watch over and over; Ten Questions from James Lipton answered in a word. Halfway through completing both Open Calls and well ino my third martini...something got lost in translation and there was a shift in stategy. I answered all the questions using… Read full post »
At 11:33 am the following post appeared on Open Salon.
There are about as many words in English as there are residents of Portland Oregon. On Monday about as many Portland women assembled for the local Boobquake as there are Portlanders who have coined or created a new word. The non-scientific answer is less than 4.0 on the Linguistic Richter Scale.… Read full post »
1) Had the honor of informing Traci Lords, Johnny Depp and some other pair of shoes under the bathroom stall door, "to take the Peruvian marching powder outside, other people need to use the shitter."
2) With my trusty Zippo, I reenacted the burning of the Pentagon while in my… Read full post »
Served sixteen months for ripping the tag off a mattress.
Did nine months for not unloading or loading in a yellow zone in front of an airport.
Got a $11 billion bonus and a Cabinet position for running Goldman Sachs into the ground. Read full post »
phase which followed the gigolo period which was just after the lecher era following the skirt chaser, wolf, rogue, libertine, Romeo, playboy and rake periods of development. This story is just one of many we are working on in the newsroom. It has been quite a news making week up here… Read full post »
only tell you how to make it. It doesn't even have a name yet. After that you are on your own. And please don't name any future kids after me should things get a bit amorous after downing this amazing concoction.
In a pint glass or shaker add a dozen… Read full post »
Today, the day after Tax Day is a charmed day. After Doris Day and National Talk Like a Pirate Day (Sep. 19), it is the most romantic day of the year. A day so full of passion, desire, overflowing in fact, that it needs the entire weekend for the ardor to… Read full post »
The airing of grievances......it is inevitable when a bottle of single malt and two veterans of the FBI converge. I'm unofficially officially retired, while she is still serving. Since she splurged, I sit back, pour myself five fingers deep and give her the floor, the entire room, to ventilate. Seem… Read full post »
There's this writer I know. He's brilliant, insecure and vain. He's published. You've read him. He insists that each and every book of his must be bound in the thickest, coarsest grade of sandpaper--cover and back.
He challenges me.......all the time in fact, to most everyth… Read full post »
Start with one non-conformist with a distaste for parking meters.
Toss in 40 or so bored, tired and sweaty chain gang prisoners tired and bored from playing sweaty poker.
Add in one outrageous boast of gastronomic gluttony and cover all bets.
Sprinkle in every available cent in camp wagered, on the… Read full post »
I didnt have much on you--a movie card, an expired debit card and some receipts from Jiffy Lube--that's it and 295 dollars in cash. I go through the phone book and the internet to track you down and return the wallet, the money to the host. But, you can't be found--anywhere,… Read full post »
"How do you guys not hear this?"
"How are you not seeing this?", the voice pleads and proclaims.
It's Glenn Beck's voice, and like a narcoleptic nymphomaniac battling nocturnal emissions, he has awa… Read full post »