1. Put an egg in your Ramen
2. Have sex ,alot. It's free and it feels really good if you do it right. Heck, it even feels good when you do it 'wrong'. Also, you won't need the heat as high, afterwards.
3. Don't pout, make survival an adventure
4. Get rid of cable . It's a rip-off, and there's nothing on it worth a shit ,anyways. A good antenna will get you 15 -20 stations once we go HD in February. ($80 savings per month)
5. Oatmeal,instead of boxed cereals. Better for you and one/tenth the price ($4 per box savings x 2 per month)
6. Get a "Magic Jack", and never pay a phone bill ,again . I know you have a computer.($60 savings per month)
7. If it's not at a Redbox for a $1, don't go to Blockbuster. ( $4 per movie savings x 4 times a month)
8. Mark West Pinot Noir ,$8.99 per bottle
9. You only have two feet, how many pairs of shoes do you really need?
10. Buy regular unleaded.Your car needs to make sacrifices ,too.I guarantee it will still run fine.
11. Chunky Soup got me through college,pretend you're 18 again, and eat some Chunky Sirloin Burger
12. Dump the Gym membership. Last time my membership expired , they had to give me directions to the gym , so I could renew.
13. It's a great time to diet, and no one will know you're really just plain ol' starving
14. Invite friends over to play cards. You'll reconnect , realize what's most important, and all have a great evening
15. Beanie Weenies
16. Time to be a 'coupon weirdo'
17. Invite friends to your house. You don't have to spend the gas to drive, and you can get as drunk as you want , since you're already home.
18. If you can't pay cash, you can't afford it. Cut up the cards.
19. Announce that your "going to let your hair grow out", and save on haircuts for a few months ($20 x 3 months)
20. Do you really need a Caramel Machiatto? ($4 savings x 8 x per month)
21. Check out the dollar menus or kid's menus and your fast food place. Hell, it's more than likely a more proper portion.
22. Read, it's cheap and you can escape the current realities
23. Remember,whoever stays with you won't be doing it for your money.
24. Turn up the music and dance like no one is watching
25. Volunteer at a shelter, you'll know what poor is.
26. Beans are more than just a "musical fruit". Beans /rice have been helping poor people survive worldwide for centuries
27. Keep your sense of humor
28. Always remember that we'll all survive
29. The job you said you' d never lower yourself to do ,is the job someone else wishes and prays they had.
30. Suicide is not painless. It hurts all those who love you
31. Shower together,hubba,hubba
32. I always remember a quote from my momma ,when I was feeling down and realized we were dirt poor,
" Baby, look outside.Them birds is still singin', and they got no coat, no job, no roof over they head, no guarantee uh'duh next meal. They's jus' happy they's breathin'."
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Strapped, I can't afford to indulge.
My mom was a coupon clipper, so it has never seemed weird to me. In fact, on reflection, it's weird NOT to redeem a coupon. We wouldn't pass up money laying on the street, but we sneer at coupons, why is this?
paula
5. Oatmeal,instead of boxed cereals. Better for you and one/tenth the price ($4 per box savings x 2 per month)
YOU COULD NOT BE MORE RIGHT!
rated
Thanks for taking me home with you and the common sense list that I will share with my daughters.
Also, go to church a lot. Use that old raggedy suit instead of the nice one. And eat all you can eat at their potlucks. Thats how I survived!
This reminds me of a time I went to stay with a friend on the lower east side in NYC-- pre-gentrification. His mom made dinner: it was grilled pork, home-made tortillas, fried plantain, slow-cooked pinto beans. fried yucca. etc, etc, etc.
Just as we're sitting down to eat, she breaks in and say something... Something. I can't remember exactly. She's crying a little. Man, they were so poor, and she thought I wasn't going to like the food, and I'm just salivating. Seriously, it's not like you can get homemade tortillas just anywhere, or beans cooked with real lard. So , you know, it's all a matter of perspective.
And later I'm eating and loving every bite. That is still one of the most awesome home-cooked meals I have ever had.
I spent three days with their family. I wanted to give them something, but there was no way to do it. But I have never taken for granted how much I have been given by chance of fate in my life ever again. I may not be making any sense any more, but it wasn't the food, it was the love, you know?
Our 'dessert' ,when I was a boy, was a dixie cup of dry oats with sugar in it. Damned if I don't still do that ,now. Don't dump too much in your mouth at once, or you might just choke to death...
Michael sez he gotta have more moolah. What I did is, I started looking over whatever books I found at yard sales and offering them on Amazon. Got one coffee-table book, "The History of Horseracing" for $12, sold it for $84. That's 700% profit. Course you have to select books carefully, but you'll learn what sells in no time.
Also, just check out yard sales whenever you see them and have a buck or two. I bought some high quality menswear (shirts, sweaters and shorts) for a buck a piece. I was about to buy two items for $2 each, when the lady said "Buy five for $5", so I got three more for a buck.
Love #31. Save hot water - shower with a friend. He/she can reach all those hard-to-get-to places.
I would add rabbits. One buck and a couple does will give you plenty of protein rich low-fat meat. (Apologies to the bunnie lovers!)
Also, I am invading my front lawn this spring for some big raised beds. Here in the PNWest, we can grow some things all year.
And sticking together and helping each other sure helps.
p.s. I think that was a perfectly fine use of the word "fuck". I'd have done the same. :D
p.p.s. and I kinda like regular ole Chunky Beef, myself, though I seeeeeriously miss Chunky Chili Beef.
mary
awesome.
It all makes sense and the humor will help sustain......
Gabba Gabba Hey !!!
stevando: not a church-goer,sorry
o'stephanie: possum is free & tastier.All have to do is put a little cat chow in a trap whenever you get a possum stew hankering. Seriously delicious. Note, a possum is completely disease -free,I mean it can't catch a cold,so it's very safe to eat
olga: I'm available for 'therapuetic' showering
AskaPunk: not as simple with 'bro-hair'
jimgalt: note that the $1 double cheeseburger was recently re-named the McDouble. Same burger minus one slice of the stuff they call'cheese'. How much you figure Mickey D's saves by cutting out one piece of cheese? It's enormous to their bottom line.
Wayne:I was raised to put buttermilk and salt on my oatmeal.We didn't even call it 'oatmeal', it was 'porridge' to us.Whatever floats your boat :)
Karin: years ago,before things went wrong,I worked with a fella named Warren Skaaren on several. He coined the "I have a need for speed" phrase from Top Gun.He passed from cancer , but years ago,that was my goal
I believe this topic is closed
Here are some other tips:
Ham hocks and ham shanks are real cheap and make great soup.
At 3.00 a loaf, it's cheaper to make your own bread. And spiritual.
Generic Xanax is pretty cheap. Ask your Dr. to call in a prescription.
A chicken on sale can go a long way. Save the carcass to make soup.
A big bag of frozen collards goes to you! You don't have to clean 'em, either!
I would have to add Jiffy cornbread mix to the list of deliciously cheap staples that one should incorporate with the ham hocks/shanks suggestion. Amazingly, they make cornbread stuffing so good, you'd want to slap your mama. Yum!
Never underestimate the power of two slices of bread that can make a meal out of practically any staple in your fridge like peanut butter/jelly or tuna/mayonnaise or a fried egg.
Great post, T! Rated!
rated
My addition is to remember that poverty is the best insurance against lawsuits
keep 'em coming.
Rated - good list!
I and a friend recycle aluminum in a big way, and I'm appalled at how much we find on the street. The market has put a dent in the price, but it's still worth doing.
Also--sell your unwanted clothing on consignment.
It may not be much, but it's free $$ for the taking.
No I loved all of this. Especially your mother's quote at the end. Beautiful.
And Chunky Sirloin Burger. It just doesn't get any better than that!
I already do eat oatmeal, and I even like it. On a cold morning, it puts heart into me with a bit of milk and maple syrup, it's lovely. It has staying power and it gives you staying power. I'm also tapering way off on the fancy coffees. I make myself a cup of tea at home in my traveling mug and take it to work with me. Sorry, Starbucks, but fancy coffee is an industry that relies on overindulgence.
Buy chicken thighs rather than chicken breasts.
I've always given my car regular unleaded. When possible, I ride my bike.
But I have to admit, times will have to get more dire before I do beans. I just can't stand the things, and they give me gas.
bean jokE: i don't trust beans , they talk behind your back
You're very intertaining. I like your way with words.
#9 reminds me of my dad. That's something he would've said. In fact, whenever I complained, he would say "I complained about not having any shoes, until I say a man without any feet".
Your momma was paraphrasing Jesus, who had his priorities dead on right.
Dylan: "When you ain't got nothin/you got nothin to lose."
One more this reminded me of from Jesus: the one about the rich man, the eye of a needle and the kingdom of heaven.
My wife and I ditched the cell phones and the second car. The bike ride to work is cheap, good exercise and it helps me to hear the birds singing.
I eat Oatmeal most mornings, but although it's cheaper than boxed cereal, it's not if you buy those little packets - often you need 2 for a decent meal - especially if you are going to be headed up to bed for a workout after :) I always buy the full size drum (42oz) which is much cheaper. It's great eaten with applesauce and/or honey too.
Beans are a good cheap healthy filling food, however combining beans with sex could be rather dangerous, depending on your position. So reader beware :)
Definitely keep your snes of humor. Sometimes it's only my ability to see the funny side of something that stops me from going crazy.
And finally, realize that no matter how bad things get, there is always someone worse off than you.
Add twenty-nine and sixteen and you have me as an undergrad. Any job, any time. As long as I didn't have to miss class.
And twenty seven, thirty and thirty two should be tattooed on the inside of my eyelids. Especially on days like today.
Sending my blessings from NYC, L.E.S.
-BUENO
Eat 'em often enough and the dog stops barking. Or just add a bit of baking soda ... shuts the mutt just fine.
Investigate Haitian cooking. Those folks are pretty much always broke ... but they keep on eating, making babies and so on. They get more mileage out of a chicken foot than most of us do out of the rest of the bird.
Like tortilla chips? The stuff is $4 a bag where I live. So I've got some masa harina and I'm waiting for my tortilla press to arrive. AINT AINT AINT paying $4 for 10 oz of pre-made chips ($6.40 a lb. puts field corn in the same ballpark as a good steak.)
Ethnic foods of all stripes have some really cheap combos that taste good and are good for ya'. Up until recently the Irish were always broke, too. When my wife and I cook "Mick" or "Mex", we eat big for little.
Love the list!
Ramen with just about any kind of vegetable; now that's good. Also, on the topic of food. Many churches as part of their midweek services, serve a wholesome meal between their children's "after school activities" and the midweek evening service. When I was a single Mom it was only $1.00.
Since my husband's layoff, we have been buying food (once a month) from AngelFoodMinistries.com. It has been a blessing for us. I think it is a nationwide ministry because I checked to see if they had one in Colorado for my stepdaughter. Their price is a fraction of what it would cost at a grocery store. Anyone can get food from them.
Great list!
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Re: no. 2, without excellent birth control, it could be your costliest mistake ever. Rubbers are not reliable, and both partners should share the cost and responsibility of prevention.
Some additional ideas: Turn the heat down and wear extra clothes and wrap a blanket over you while reading. Find and fix drafts. We lived without AC when I was growing up in Kansas where it gets HOT, so at very least anyone with a need to save or concern about the environment could certainly tolerate warmer settings on the thermostat in summer and leave it off as often as you can stand. It's probably the biggest chunk of your budget after housing and transportation. The clothes dryer is another big energy user, and not always necessary if there's a place to hang things out.
For those for whom a buzz cut is too extreme, Robocut (or such) might be a worthwhile alternative. It's especially good and easy for short, all the same length hair.
Another simple food staple that works is making mac and cheese from a box but adding a can of chili. No need for the milk and butter called for in the directions. It's not the healthiest, but improves the taste of both items, imo.
Microwave cooking is cheaper than stove burners.
Even if the economy recovers, the environment would be better off if we cut energy consumption and a lot of other unnecessary spending. Reduce, reuse, recycle!
YOU ROCK!
Like the one about getting drunk at home. Works for me. And you momma's saying, precious!
You are not truly broke if you are still arguing for an extra pair of shoes. My feet have hurt so badly that I had to crawl around my house but I did not buy more shoes. I bought my son 2 pairs of long pants for winter instead. He wears a special size that cannot be purchased off the rack anywhere.
I have had the same 2 pairs of shoes for 4 years.
T bucket thanks for your inspiring tips. I have bookmarked your page!
I have to add that if you are getting the right veggies, they will fill you up a lot more and a lot healthier than anything from Mc-They-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Mentioned.
Had a date come over on Friday night. She got dizzy turning around in circles looking for the TV. Told her I didn't have one because "It gives me more time to think about weird shit."
One thing my mama did while we were growing up in a low class neighborhood was using leftovers like crazy. She'd always keep leftover pasta after a meal and fry it up the next day with butter for lunch. Fried noodles are still one of my favs. She'd keep leftover pizza too and add fresh toppings the next day, then throw it back in the oven for a few minutes. Brown bananas got baked into banana loaf, hard bread got cut up and baked for croutons in a salad.
Nothing going to waste saves the most money!
This one is the truth. I've lost some weight, and folks have been asking me, 'Tink, how do you lose it?' I assume they were talking about the weight and not my mind, so I answer, "I stopped eating!" :)
Great post. Rated.
Your advice is how we all need to live and I already love Mark West wine!
Rated darling
Sara
I'd add:
Bake your own bread - it's 50c a loaf v $3.00 in store
Make your own alcohol - sugar, water and yeast $10- makes 5 gallons of STRONG wine.
Grow your own herb- free grown outdoors or $20 in electricity a month for a closet- more than you can smoke.
Chunky soup goes further if you add equal amount of rice , noodle or beans.
Instead of AC, use fan in the room where you spend most of time.If its still hot ,just take a cold shower.
As the cable, if you have internet access you have all the cable programs, hulu.com, the network websites, heck play poker on-line for free...it keeps you sharp.
Here in Portland they have a last chance Goodwill where all the things that did not sell at the regular store go before they donate them overseas. They sell clothes/blankets by the pound; the kids are warm if not exactly high fashion.
We already do most of these.
Instead of eating out, I try and make our favorite restaurant meals at home:)
What a wonderful quote from your mother........
I agree with everything except dropping the gym membership. I get depressed when I don't get enough exercise. My recommendation: Find a cheaper gym or take up a form of exercise (walking, running, biking, pilates or yoga exercise videos) that doesn't require gym membership. I think it helps to actually INCREASE your exercise level if your unemployed. Don't wanna look too pudgy for those job interviews, after all. Then NOBODY will hire you.
I'd like to add another suggestion to your list. You mentioned taking up reading. My recommendation: instead of spending money at Amazon.com or used book stores, join www.paperbackswap.com, where you can post your gently used paperbacks and get other paperbacks mailed to you for FREE. You pay only the cost of media mail.
Some good suggestions here. Thanks for sharing.
I do volunteer work giving legal advice to renters in my area. I work online, of course. The saddest questions I get are, is there any program that can help me pay my rent, now that I lost my job? And I have to say, no, there is very little help out there to keep you in your apartment and what there is, is swamped. I don't know the answer to that one. I guess, just go back to when you were a 20-something and live with roommates or move in with family. Housing is the second toughest problem to solve in a bad economy. Healthcare is the toughest.
Get rid of cable, the Gym, Caramel Machiatto.. right on.
Yeah and I've learned the hard way about storecards like macys etc. I was amazed last year during christmas how i was completely broke and yet i walk out of macys with $300 worth of stuff!! thats insane, it just puts you in a prison of debt!
Other ways i save money is instead of spending over $150 for a cut and color ( i have long hair) i go to a beauty school where its like 15$ a cut and 30 for color, cause the profession hair dye is better for your hair than the stuff you can do yourself.
Instead of adding on another room for my craftroom I just got 2 summer houses and they are cute and saved me a few grand.
I also water down fabric softeners, hand soaps and cleaners, when they are halfway gone, and they are still just as good when you add some water, they are usually to strong anyway.
Thanks for the great information and laughs!! :)
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