When did Sarah Palin reach her potential?
At birth
What do you call Obama with a hairlip?
A socialisp
What did McDonalds say to the little fat kid?
Welcome back
What do you call a black gymnast?
An afrobat
Why wouldn't the little boy go to church?
There was a priest there
What's the muslim study of past artifacts?
Archeallahgy
What's the fat babies favorite lullaby?
Twinkie Twinkie Little Star
Why did the White House lose power?
They forgot to pay the reform bill
Why did the pregnant spider scream?
She was having a taRANTula
What's a popular muslim fabric?
Demosque
What did Octomom take home from the hospital?
Litterature
Why was the cartoonist booked?
They found trace particles.
What did the pilot leave in the airplane toilet?
A travel log
What do you call a Russian on xanax?
A calmunist
Why did Tiger Woods text the psychic?
She gave good whoroscope
Who is Uncle Sam's sister?
Antibellum
Why are armless people so healthy?
They can't catch anything
What do you call a man-hating lesbian?
Anti-sementic
What do you call a relaxed writer?
Tranquill
Why does Tim McClellan sleep with his phone?
Scared to miss another call
Why did the golf ball like the water?
He wanted to be subpar
Why couldn't Tony Hayward graduate?
He forgot to order a cap and gown.
What do you get when a bull sucks helium?
A bulloon
What did the fetus request at the hotel?
A womb for two
What made the stairs into escalators?
Stairoids
Who supports the legalization of marijuana?
Prograssives
Why was the lizard put in jail?
Possession of mariguana
Why couldn't the little poor boy go to Sea World?
They didn't accept whalefare
How did the saavy homeless man make money?
He used an I Hate Obama sign.
Who handles stolen fonts?
The Serif's Deputy
What do feminists drive?
Vulvos
What killed the keyboard?
A keystroke
Why did the wine glass wear heels?
She wanted to lift her spirits
What killed the workaholic farmer?
Mad Plow
Where does the farmer get his meds?
The farmacy
Who designs the deadliest denim?
Gloria Vandersloot
Why did BP hire a thug?
He was good at capping
Which key opens rehab?
The Junky
What do Cheney and his daughter share?
The desire to manipulate Bush
Where did BP throw its trash?
In the peli can
Why was the lawyer scandalous?
She flashed her briefs at a well-hung jury.
How did the expletive travel lightly?
She only packed her swear essentials
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Lainey
Oahusurfer
Way2 Black
ghost writer
Gary Gladstone
Dennis Knight
Salon.com
Comments
The comedian Russell Peters has a joke that when a man marries a woman he catches a disease called Onegina. I think women who marry men get a similar disease, maybe called Monocockliosis.
Rated with hugs
She flashed her briefs at a well-hung jury.
Hahahahahaha
Lezlie
Thank you very much.
I'll be here every night and probably some in the daytime.
In the peli can
That came from staring at the cover of one of this weeks magazines. It was a pelican close up.
Tip your waitress, folks.
r
They forgot to pay the reform bill
Amen, punster. Amen.
Funny stuff.
Buffy
He sat around all day with baited breath.
Why can't Rigatoni divorce Fetucelle?
'Cause they would break the bonds of Holy Macaroni.
What do lions say before the hunt?
Preyers.
What is the top-selling condom in Saudi Arabia?
Sheik.
What do you call a Muslim horror flick?
An Allah-gory.
What does a Muslim Magician say?
Allah Kazam.
What assistance do you give a deaf pellican?
Herring aid.
Where do female pilots sit?
The box office.
What do Viking Warriors take for depression?
Valhallium.
What kind of cars do Swedes drive?
Fjords.
German word for romantic separation?
Fahrfrumnukkie.
What is the Italian word for suppository?
Innuendo
http://www.querytools.net/Humor1.htm
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