Yeah, even butts have plugs available,
Gentlemen, stop your engines. Ever since you first held that briefcase in your innovative hands you looked up. Up at the heavens that blessed you and over the fact that they are dying.
You scoff at global warming while your private jets cool. You chill like fine wine while the earth bakes at an extra 36 degrees every decade.
I'll admit you were made for a suit. Handsome, strong and capable of turning the forests inside out with adventurous curiosity. You never overlooked a gem or mineral that was worth something.
You always did adore adventure...
X marks the spot, right?
Well, it's not so cute that you found a spot and are non stop drilling in it. Stop playing Life Monopoly. You've won enough. I walked away with only a small house in Alabama and a family beach home on an ocean you are ruining. You walked away with Fifth Avenue, penthouses and more...but I do not remember the "ocean floor" being up for sale. Who gave you the rights to it?
You are poking holes in a floating planet without a safety plug! How did you ever get so successful without a tested back-up plan?
The planet is already sick due to human action. We've snatched off her pearls, choked her with pollution and stolen her jewels. Now she is vomiting black blood because you're cutting her. What is this - Emo Earth?
And stop listening to people like Sarah Palin. She knows damn well that pumping an old hole causes nasty spills.
If the black gold bubbles up in your backyard... go for it, Clampett. But stop jonesing for the next best thing. I certainly don't need anymore ways for people to get a hold of me. I've never seen so many people competing to have the smallest... the shiniest... the most able to reach my royal hiney-est.
I wouldn't blink an eye if someone told me that Apple was about to release an application that could sexually reproduce. I mean, I wouldn't buy the iBone, but I'd believe it was coming.
Remember when your children were little and wanted everything? You loosened your neck tie and gently said, "You don't even take care of what you have."
Well, Mother Earth is tugging at your tie and warning:
If it's a race to the finish,