300 Sunny Days in Colorado

Susie Lindau

Susie Lindau
Location
Boulder, Colorado, USA
Birthday
April 11
Title
Writer and illustrator
Bio
I am a Boulder transplant, writer, and artist who always sees the bright side of life while enjoying Colorado's 300 sunny days. I love adventure both real and imagined. Come with me. It's always a Wild Ride! I finished a paranormal thriller based on my own experiences. Creepy, right?

MY RECENT POSTS

SEPTEMBER 23, 2011 11:24AM

Stolen Regret

Rate: 28 Flag

9914349-dark-woods-black-and-white-spooky-ghost-forest 

The biting wind struck Maeve’s frail body with force so she drew her mother’s thin red shawl around her shoulders tighter. She shivered remembering what she had done. The stunning ring had been lying on Mrs. Carver’s bedside table along with her yellowed false teeth which floated in a glass of water. She moved the tumbler and dusted, then slipped the ruby ring into her pocket.

Trudging home on the icy path through the shadowy forest, the weight of the stone spun the ring around her thin finger. When the vagrant grabbed her from behind, it flew into the gloom.

 II

After a long cold winter, sun-filled days thawed the frozen earth and birds migrated back from their winter respite. A squirrel sprung from his warm leaf-lined den in the trunk of an ancient oak. With pangs of hunger he dove to the forest floor and dug for buried acorns. A bright glint like crimson berries caught the attention of his black beady eyes and he hopped through the decomposing leaves hoping for an edible treasure. Cocking his head to one side he gazed at the ruby ring. An ebony crow swooped down and snatched it up with its hooked beak.

 III

“What are you afraid of Chelsea? Ghosts?” Jack taunted. Mary and Thomas giggled, but the tales about the woman in the woods and the thought of meeting down there at midnight to have a séance made her flesh crawl.

The moon hung like a fingernail clipping over the old Carver house where the remaining shards of glass in the windows seemed like a menacing grin.

The rhythmic crunching of their footsteps on the path into the dense forest kept time with the banging in her chest. Jack found an old oak and the four friends settled underneath its gnarled branches.

 IV

Maeve floated through the forest on the wings of the gust’s frosty breath twisting with the wailing wind. Like so many nights before this, she found herself on that muddy path with the ruby ring heavy on her finger like the weight of guilt on her soul. Sometimes she caught glimpses of others completely unaware. Other times they seemed alarmed then faded into the gray snowy night.

Tonight the pull at her core caused a ferocious velocity of writhing. She whipped towards the foursome dislodging something from the old oak which fell between them.

Return it!” Maeve howled with wind.  

 

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Comments

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wow.
Involving and immediate. rated.
"The moon hung like a fingernail clipping " Great writing and a good ending. You really enhanced this prompt.
Thank you Jon! I am glad I pulled you in.....
Thanks Zanelle! I wasn't even sure what the prompt was. Hahaha!
Neil........its.....tooooo......laaaaate.............oooooooooooooooooo
Took me 10 minutes to pull this up and rate it. Must be the weekend and what a darn shame.. This piece needs to be read by all.
HUGGGGGGGGGg
Lovely and intriguing. Nicely multiple-layered meanings give it an eerie glow all its own. Well done!

ᴼᴥƪ
.
Odd to think that a material object can be so important
that it would determine events in the spiritual world.

The squirrel description says it all...
Odd to think that a material object can be so important
that it would determine events in the spiritual world.

The squirrel description says it all...
Thanks Bob! Where is you Hot Chocolate? I am craving a sip....

Thank you so much Linda! Wouldn't that be great and a record breaker!!!!
great pictures through vocabulary! you could describe toast as an abrassive surface emitting heat with the want of butter in mind. :0

wonderful!!
I especially like the atmosphere you create.
Lots of wonderful action words, a gripping tale.
rated with love
I loved this and wanted to learn more details about the ring, Maeve and her ghostly self. Very engaging.
Thanks Sky! I really like creating these since they are an exercise in concise writing.
I too liked the moon like a fingenail clipping. What next? I am eager to know.
You are getting everyone ready for a literary Halloween with this great stuff.
Thanks James! I was looking out my window at my squirrel friend who occasionally comes to sit on my windowsill when I thought of throwing him into the story. I gave him a sinister feeling even though he seems like a nice little furry guy. Hahaha!
Thanks Blinddream and you did it for me!! mmmm..... toast with melted butter...........
Mmmmm! Poe's returned in the dead of night, slipped into your head and whispered to you as you wrote these eerie, haunting sentences. Masterful writing, Susie.
Thanks Catherine! Good to see you!

Thanks Sarah! I walk through it in mind and it keeps getting darker and darker......must be because Halloween is around the corner!
I like! Great Stuff!
My comment is a mixture of Scanner and Matt. This was very interesting and unique.
Thanks RP! I am glad you came for the ride!!

I am glad Sheila, but most likely the tale will have to go on in our imaginations!!
Miguela I think this tale will end with the howling wind!!

Mary I have my book club reading a few of my tales for my haunted meeting next month!! I wonder what they will think????
I love ghost stories!
The video reminds me of a night sail my husband and I made from Grenada to Trinidad a few years ago, except there was no land in sight. We were all alone on the open sea when a bird exactly like the one in the video hopped onto the stern and hitched a ride with us for some miles.
Beautiful use of metaphor here. You say so much with so few words, the hallmark of classic writing!
Wow Matt that means a lot to me!!! Thanks!
Well done. The ring, the circle of life--and death, of deep guilt and the need for atonement.
Impressive assembly of words, stirring the imagination to create images while absorbing your story – I really enjoyed this, thank you
Thanks Scanner I am so glad!
Thank you so much Fernsy! I really like writing fiction...especially spooky tales!
The moon hung like a fingernail clipping over the old Carver house where the remaining shards of glass in the windows seemed like a menacing grin.

Two of my favorite line- "moon hung like a fingernail clipping" because that evoked GAG in me and then the moon was gross in my mind. "shards of glass...like a menacing grin" was like a double dose of eeriness.

I'd love to write like you. It was smooth and built up at the right place.
Thanks for stopping A! Your midnight cruise sounds eerily lovely with your hitchhiking friend!!!

Wow Kate! You made my day!!!
Folkloric morality and no escape from the eerie, eerie darkness. Read it several times for lyrical enchantment!

Of course, the venerable OS has been so slow for so long - I may have altered my metabolism by now.
The ring forms a circle, starting and ending in the same place. An appropriate image for the message in your story.
R
Excellent comment Athomepilgrim! You really understood it~
Thank you!

Wow! Thanks MC!

Mango so nice of you to stop by and leave such a generous comment!
I love this! Especially the ending!
At home pilgrim - thanks! You really got it. So very well said!!!
JP you are on my first page of followers. I'm so glad to see you again!
You left an awesome comment. Thank you!
I hope your metabolism gets back to normal soon!!! hahaha!
Outonalimb - I am so glad that you saw the symbolism of the ring. It was fun to write. Thanks for your comment!
Creepy atmosphere and a nice tight arc, which, thinking about it, is indispensable to flash fiction. I also like the pic you chose for it: maybe you'll like Cloister Cemetary in the snow by Casper David Friedrich, one of my favorites.
Now that was classic spook-fare and the ring I heard was of Poe. You must have a collection of spooky stories worthy of their own book. Uh-oh, Halloween approaches!
R
Thanks Alysa! I am glad you stopped by to read!!
Seth thank you! I loved your link. It was very fitting!

Thanks Ash! I love Poe. Now that I am writing these scary tales it has crossed my mind to do a short story book! You never know......