Real Funny Stuff

Mostly true and often funny stories about life.
DECEMBER 12, 2011 12:16PM

Keep It Simple Stupid

Rate: 1 Flag

This year I have decided to do my best to practice the KISS method of holiday preparations.

 

If you don't know, KISS stands for Keep It Simple Stupid.  One of my very nice cousins says, Keep It Simple Sweetheart.  I'm not that nice, so I'll keep the Stupid.

 

Christmas is only a couple of weeks away and I have done absolutely NOTHING to get ready for it.  There are no decorations in my yard, no tree in my living room, and no wreath on my door.  And as for presents, well...I haven't started shopping for those either.  Needless to say I am feeling more than a little bit overwhelmed.  Feeling overwhelmed is not the way I want to be feeling.  I want to be feeling MERRY!

 

That's why I'm going to try that KISS thing.  Here's what I have in mind.

 

Tree Shopping.  In years past I have spent hours and hours searching multiple lots for exactly the "right" tree.  But in hindsight, there is no such thing.  If I want a perfect tree then I'd have to get an artificial one, and that maybe my next step, but until then, no real tree is going to be perfect.  It's impossible.  Therefore, I shall spend no more than 5 minutes at ONE tree lot.  I will pick out the first 7 foot noble fir I come across that looks reasonably fresh.  If it has a few holes, so be it.  That's why God invented large ornaments.

 

Gift Buying.  Usually I will really think about what might be the one certain something that each and every single certain someone on my Christmas list might love to receive.  It takes quite a lot of time and energy and since I don't have much of either, I'm going to think of something that is something that I would like to receive, something gender neutral, and I'm going to make that THE gift that I give to everyone.  Well, will you look at that!  I'm practically done shopping right now.

 

 

Gift Wrapping.  Can we say gift bags?  Whomever invented the gift bag should be be sent a medal.  And it should come in a gift bag.  I think they sell those in bulk online, no?  I'll wrap a few for my own kids to open.  I mean Santa will.  Or his elves.  But for everyone who will be receiving whatever that gender neutral something-or-other is that I myself would be happy to receive, you'll be receiving it in a gift bag.  I won't write your name on it so you can reuse it.  Recycling is a gift that keeps on giving.

 

Cooking.  I am going to really do something different here.  I think I am going to NOT cook.  Well, maybe I'll make a few sides and a salad.  But as for the main course?  That's gonna be whatever already to serve meat looks decent and affordable that they have on the day I make it to Costco.  If it's rotisserie chicken, so be it.  I'm a vegetarian anyway, so it's not going to effect me.  If anyone else has something to say about it, they can cook some dead animal themselves.

 

Cards.  This is one tradition I'm going to keep.  It is somewhat time consuming, addressing all those cards by hand.  BUT...I am going to be smart this year and enter all the names and addresses into my address book on my computer after I hand write them on the cards.  That way next year, PRESTO!  Labels.

 

 

Decorations.  Right now my garage is in a bit of a state of disarray.  I will set a timer for 15 minutes and whatever boxes I can get to that are marked "X-Mas" are the only ones that I will bring into the house and open.  If some of them have ornaments, we can put them on our imperfect tree.  If some of them have lights, then I'll tack some around the door.  I'm not getting on the roof.  I'm not paying through the nose to have someone else get on my roof.  It's dangerous, it's expensive, and I'd rather make a donation to charity instead.

 

 

 

Cookies.  Every year we bake and decorate sugar cookies.  We have a million and one cookie cutters.  The most time consuming part of this is making the dough and waiting for it to chill in the fridge.  I think I am going to buy pre-made dough.  Frosting is very easy to make.  If I put homemade frosting on store bought dough, can I just say they're homemade cookies?  YES I CAN!

 

I hope you don't think I am being too Grinch-like.  It's just that I want to enjoy the season and stop feeling so stressed out by it.  That's why I am going to make these changes and try keeping it simple (stupid).  You know what?  I feel less overwhelmed already!

 

Happy Holidays EVERYONE!  And if you are feeling overwhelmed with all the trimmings and trappings, let me give you a little KISS!  It's gender neutral, and it's something I myself was happy to receive.

KISS from me to you!

 

Your tags:

TIP:

Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Recipient's email address:
Personal message (optional):

Your email address:

Comments

Type your comment below:
Keep It Simple, Susan! And stress-free. Ty for sharing these tips with us. R