Here’s how the teenage mind works.

Any plan I want to make should miraculously come to fruition simply because I want what I want when I want it.

Anyone who tells me that I can’t have what I want is the cause of why I can’t have it.

I can call my mother any name I want to--I can say anything I want about her to my friends in person, on the phone, via text, on Facebook, IM, My Space or any other medium I deem fit.

If I get my way I will be the sweetest most complimentary person in the world.  If I don’t get my way, I will scowl, roll my eyes, give the cold shoulder, slam doors, and be verbally abusive.

In my world, I am the star and everyone else is a bit player.

I get to direct the bit players.

I know everything.  My parents know nothing.

I am invincible.  Therefore I do not need the following:

1. sunscreen
2. healthy food
3. common sense 

I believe that I control time.  I will tell you that I can make it home from ANYWHERE I want to go when for everyone else in the world, it would be impossible.

I think that because I want something to happen that it should.  And it will.

Anything bad that happens is absolutely never my fault.

I will whip out my phone and text people even if the President of the United States is trying to have a conversation with me.

The mall is my playground.  Now give me a credit card.

Just because you give me money to buy school clothes does not mean I will do it.

If you tell me a movie, a band, a tv show, a magazine, a vacation destination, etc. is great, I’ll tell you a thousand reasons why it’s lame.  If one of my friends says any of those things is great, I’ll agree wholeheartedly.

Whatever you ask me to go do I’ll shoot down unless I can bring a friend.  This includes family vacations.

If I do lower myself to do something with you I will text my friends how bored I am and how I only went with you so you’d A) pay, B) get off my back, C) maybe let me have my way about something else later.

I will complain about having to spend time with extended family.  Grandparents are even lamer than parents.

I will spend hours reading trashy novels, but will complain about the two books I have to read for school over the summer.

I will make as many friends as possible who live absolutely nowhere near me so that I can then force my parents to have to drive me back and forth whenever I want.

No matter how much my parents do for me, it won’t be enough.  The second they say “no”, all memory of any “yeses” I received previously is out the window.

Here's how the mother of the teenager's mind is working nowadays:

God grant me the strength to get through the next three years.  I’m going to need it.