First off, I did not watch the Miss America pageant. It’s just not my thing. I have, however, seen multiple blog posts and reactions to said pageant. Most the debate amongst geeks has been regarding Campanella’s “geek cred” following statements she made about being a “history geek” and enjoying shows such as The Tudors. So, there’s been back and forth as to whether or not she’s pandering to be appealing to certain demographic, blah, blah, blah. 

My thoughts? Why are people fighting over this? I highly doubt any geeks would even give her the time of day had those statements hadn’t been made. And more importantly, why are people playing the “us” versus “them” game? 

A little anecdote. A few years ago when I lived back east my friend wanted me to visit her and her partner and we had planned to go out to a gay bar they liked. Now, another associate of mine, who happens to be heterosexual, who lived in the area ended up having plans get cancelled and she seemed kind of bummed. So, I asked my friend if it would be okay if I invited the person who had their plans cancelled to go out to the bar with us.  To put it mildly, a bit of a spat ensued. The details are have faded over time,  the issue boiled down to this: the couple was uncomfortable with me wanting to bring my heterosexual friend out to a gay bar because they wanted to be amongst “our kind” (for lack of a better word).  

I was furious. 

One, the individual I wanted to invite was, and continues to be to this day, a very dear friend of mine. I don’t take kindly to people speaking poorly of my friends as a general rule. She’s just a great person and I thought we’d all have a good time. Not to mention, if we’re talking bona fides, she’s very open minded, she’s even done a lot of work with the gay community; something I cannot even make the claim to.

Two, isn’t it more than slightly hypocritical for *any* group to say they want tolerance and equality and then go about shunning people? I think so and that was the real kicker for me. 

So, bringing this back around to Miss America and her geek credentials. As someone who considers herself a geek I’m a bit perplexed. I have always found the people whom I consider geeks to be pretty accepting, probably because we weren’t accepted by other groups. And it is a really crappy feeling to feel left out and not fit in. Even at the not so tender age of almost 30 I find myself struggling to find a peer group I fit in with at work, socially, and it’s tough.  

Yes, Campanella willingly sold herself based on appearance as far as competing in beauty pageants. Yes, beauty pageants pretty much make their bread and butter promoting standards of beauty that are dubious at best. It was never my dream to be Miss America, but it was hers clearly. I don’t know her, but I don’t think that alone makes her a person worthy of scorn. That was her choice and just because it seems absurd to me doesn’t make it wrong.  And nor do I think because she wanted to be Miss America and has an interest in geeky things she should be catching flack and having her interests, and her sincerity, questioned.

To me, while in the grand scheme of things this issue is trivial (the world is not going to end by any means because of Miss America and I have no doubt Campanella will not be hurting career wise because of nasty internet commentary), I think it illustrates a larger point we, and I mean everyone on the face of this planet, all needed to be reminded of sometimes. At the end of the day we are all people. And no person, regardless of race, sexual orientation, gender identity, jock, geek, political affiliation, whatever, deserves to be treated poorly, excluded, or worse, just because they don’t happen to fit in the perceived “norms” of a group or society as a whole. We don’t always have to see eye-to-eye on things, but just take a moment and remember that everyone has feelings and no one likes to be made to feel like less of a person because of who they are or what they happen to have an interest in.