STUFF YOUR HUSBAND TOLD ME
Geez Louise
- Birthday
- December 31
- Bio
- I’m a single American suburban mom surrounded by married people. You see me all the time. Our kids are friends. I sit next to you at their sporting events. I help with banquets and fundraisers. My house and yard aren’t the best-kept in the neighborhood, but I make an effort.
You like me, but you won’t get too close. You invite neighbors over for Margaritas, but not me. Your inner circle is off limits because I’m not half a couple and I make no apologies for it. You don’t want your husband’s eyes on me. He doesn’t want you to share his faults with me. Though I’m a good citizen in every measurable way, I’m always on the outside looking in.
I’d love to be your friend, but I can’t because you think I’m some kind of predator out to steal a husband. Let me clear that up for you now: I don’t date married men. Ironically, they are always trying to date me. As your would-be friend, I’m going to share with you what I hear on the outside, and why I’m not all too eager to climb in your married shoes.
MY RECENT POSTS
- He Kept the Same Tiny Asian
Girl All Week
March 22, 2011 06:24PM - You Pulled a Bait & Switch
March 07, 2011 06:05PM - COLLARDS OF LOVE
February 27, 2011 11:35PM - You Pick Out His Clothes –
Every Day
February 25, 2011 01:01PM - You Are OK With It
February 20, 2011 11:29PM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “I'm so sorry for your
loss! Thank you for sharing
with us how
special he was to
y…”
April 14, 2012 08:10PM - “Aaaaaahhhhh! One of the
most difficult times in
parent's
life, to be sure!
Appar…”
April 21, 2011 09:56PM - “Wow. How beautifully
thought provoking! I too
watched someone
close to me
die a…”
April 19, 2011 03:05PM - “Once I learned to be my
own best friend, I finally
knew I had
a friend who
wouldn…”
April 10, 2011 09:08PM - “A few more years of
living will change the
child's
perspective. It's only
a matt…”
April 10, 2011 08:49PM
Geez Louise's Links
He Kept the Same Tiny Asian Girl All Week
Remember that combined business
trip/vacation that your husband and several of his colleagues took
to Asia last year? (Was it Hong Kong or Thailand? I can’t
remember.) There was a business purpose, but they
decided to schedule a few extra days for some much-needed R&R:
sightse/… Read full post »
You Pulled a Bait & Switch
Your husband feels betrayed. You two have been together less than ten years, and you’re both still young! Sure, the two kids came in rapid succession, but the baby is three, and he simply can’t understand why you haven’t tried to regain the slim, shapely form he fell in love w/… Read full post »
COLLARDS OF LOVE
(The following post -- in response to a challenge by Emily Holleman -- deviates from my standard topic, but not entirely. My father taught me how to make Collards of Love, and he is, in fact, somebody's husband.)
By eating collard greens on New Year’s Day, superstitious Southerne… Read full post »
You Pick Out His Clothes – Every Day
It has been years since your husband made even the smallest decision regarding his own personal attire. You asserted your domestic dominance early in the marriage, and unceremoniously stripped him of not only the responsibility of deciding how to attire himself, but of the will to fight you on/… Read full post »
You Are OK With It
Yes, that it. You know, just in case I decide to take him up on his most recent offer to explore the carnal delights of each other’s flesh, he wants me to feel comfortable in the knowledge that you’re okay with it.
He loves you, of course! Please don’t think he… Read full post »
You’re Dead.
When I met your husband on Match dot com, he was widowed. Poor thing. You’d been gone a little more than a year, having perished while making an ill-advised left turn onto a busy highway, where a large speeding truck dispatched your early demise. He was serious about that promise he… Read full post »
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