Happy Victoria Day to any Canadians who stop by.

 At last night's Billboard Awards (not that I watched it), Justin Bieber told the music community that he should be taken seriously.  Justin, first, if you have to tell people that you should be taken seriously, then you really won't be taken… Read full post »

Somethings just piss me off.

Leonardo DiCaprio told the German tabloid, Bild that making three movies in two years tired him out. Leo's going to take a "long, long break."

Try being a miner for two years, ya wuss.

Leo's been a working actor since he was 16. More or… Read full post »

Pauline Phillips, aka Abigail Van Buren, aka "Dear Abby," died Wednesday at age 94. Think of it as breaking into a new market.

Dear Abby,

I recently died. I followed the bright light to discover that, among my pre-deceased relatives who were there to welcome me to the afterlife,… Read full post »

Everyone is thankful for their friends. Enough people are thankful for some of their family.

I am thankful that I am not a waiter. Don't get me wrong. I'm not being thankful on my behalf. I'm thankful on your behalf. I'd be a lousy waiter.… Read full post »

During my early college years, it was Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.  The review or reputation of the book didn't matter, if Vonnegut wrote it, I bought and read the book.  A little later in life it was John le Carré.  Sometime after that Graham Greene.  Eventually it was Paul Theroux'… Read full post »

We all know what today is, what it means and that the consequences will affect generations to come.   You've anticipated this date for the last year.   You've monitored news reports, joined discussion groups, had heated debates as to the future of this event.  Now the day has arrived:… Read full post »

You don't meet a lot of guys named "Lot." You know, after the Biblical character. Plenty of guys are named after Lot's uncle, Abram (Abraham), whose two strongest attributes were a deep devotion to his maker and having active sperm cells at age 100+. Still, you just don't… Read full post »

Marvin Hamlisch died yesterday, August 6th.

The way we were seated at Charlie Trotter's world-class, eponymous restaurant that early January evening in 2002 had two old friends from high school sitting opposite of me and Ms. Stim who was on my right.  She and I had our backs to the wall,… Read full post »

There's a new "Most Hated, Hunted Man in Baltimore."  He may be unidentified at the moment, but, if he has any brains -- which he obviously doesn't -- this MHHMiB better be a good 10 states away by now.  What did this brilliant practitioner of the underworld craft do to deserve… Read full post »

In today's installment of "What can I space off on rather than focus on my job, which, at this moment, really doesn't require much focus in order to do whatever it is I'm suppose to do,"  I began to wonder what one could do with a blog post that begins with… Read full post »

I have drafts of posts dating from months past.  When I say "drafts of posts," mostly I mean "I wrote a paragraph and never got back to it, or didn't know where to go with it, or just sort of had an 'ooo, shiny'  distraction and  forgot what I was going to… Read full post »

Hi, Cindy.

Firstly, congratulations on becoming the new CEO of Salon.

I know you have a lot to do settling into the big job, not the least of which is searching Dave Talbot's desk for any hooch he might've left behind.  Don't count on finding any.  Judging from some of the… Read full post »

For today’s post we have a special guest columnist:  Ms. Stim

The day was brutal.  It reminded me of our first date, when it was pouring.  He had come into the lobby of my high rise exactly on time and walked me out to his car with an/… Read full post »

With the morning came rain, a steady, Spring drenching.  Rain fell as I dressed.  I ran through rain to the clothier to pick up my new suit.  I watched rain while I ate a quick lunch.

By early afternoon the front passed.  The clouds broke.  The sun shown through a freshly… Read full post »

This morning I met with a professional, certified Nutritionist Educator or whatever her title is (Are there any male Nutritionists?).  The visit was prompted by the following conversation between my internist and me.

Internist:  Look at that fat gut.

Me:  I know.

Internist:  It's… Read full post »

Below is a verbatim e-mail exchange among my friends J and K and myself regarding the Pultizer Fiction Committee not awarding a prize this year.  Don't expect a profound discussion or conclusion.  Actually, if you can explain to me why I posted this, please do so.  Oh, and as a reminde… Read full post »

Product:  Kanfields Cream Soda.  Cast:  George ("G"), Martha ("M").  Scene:  their kitchen.

(sound of refrigerator door opening)

G (a bit whiny): Martha, there's nothing in the fridge to drink but cream soda.

M: It's Kanfields Cream Soda.  Try one.

G: But I hate cream so… Read full post »

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We've all been asked the question, "What would you do with $1 million?"  Sounds rather quaint now, doesn't it?

As everyone in 42 states, plus the District of Columbia and the U.S. Virgin Islands knows (and probably everyone in the other eight loser states), Friday's Mega Millions drawing will be… Read full post »

Dear Leadership of the Opposition Party/Resentful Populace/Oppressed Minority/Disaffected Fringe Group/Inner Circle Power Seeker,

 We're Et Tu, Too and we hear your rage against the ruthless dictator, [insert name].  For too long [insert same name] has savaged your people, crushed your drea… Read full post »

Today I joined Salon Core.  I can't say it was because Joan Walsh convinced me that joining Core would piss off Rush Limbaugh, but if my Core membership causes Rush intestinal distress, well that's worth my $45 by itself.

I also grabbed a gift year's subscription to The Atlantic (free, free,… Read full post »

The story began about a week ago when Ms. Stim's sbcglobal email account, which she accesses through Yahoo, was hacked.  Spam was sent to her contacts.  All the men and half the women got their penises enlarged.  Or something.  Shortly after Ms. Stim began having problems accessin… Read full post »

To All the People Who Bring Their Kids to Costco on the Weekend:

Leave your noisy, little, walking obstacles at home.  You think they're behaving perfectly?  Bullshit.  If little Suzie wanders two feet from you, she's in someone's way.  Just having kids with you is a nui… Read full post »

Wrapping up last night's ABC News's World News Tonight (or whatever they call Diane Sawyer's show), a middle-aged reporter inteviewed a middle-aged author and a middle-aged doctor to tell us that our brains peak during middle-age.  More specifically, memory peaks at 45.  Vocabulary peaks be… Read full post »

Hello, dear reader.  I attempted to buy a desktop from HP.  Things did not go well.  Below is a copy of the email I sent through HP's website that goes to CEO Meg Whitman.  As if anyone believes Meg will ever read it.

Dear Ms. Whitman,

I am writing in… Read full post »

For those who took a quick glance, yes, today is my birthday.  Thanks for the good wishes.

Here are a few more who came into the world on the 9th of January.  Since I'm writing this from work, sorry, no photos.

Lady "Jennie" Jerome Churchill (b. 1854) - Mother of Winston… Read full post »