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A few thoughts from Steven Rockford

Steven Rockford

Steven Rockford
Location
Arizona, USA
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December 01
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steven.rockford100@gmail.com

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JUNE 20, 2012 9:16AM

Jealousy

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CUTE KIDS 

 “Jealousy is, I think, the worst of all faults because it makes a victim of both parties."     - Gene Tierney

   

Jealousy is a difficult subject to discuss, primarily because we have all been on one side or the other of a jealous situation in our lives, and most of us felt it was easiest to pretend that the situation simply didn't exist.  

But jealously is an important aspect of the human condition.  We should all be able to talk about this emotion openly. 

Merriam-Webster defines a jealous person as one who is: 

    -  intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness

    -  hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage

    -  vigilant in guarding a possession  

The magazine Psychology Today goes into more detail: 

As emotions go, jealousy is neither subtle nor kind, but it is definitely complex, encompassing feelings from fear of abandonment to rage to humiliation. It strikes both men and women when they perceive a third-party threat to a valued relationship, and that distinguishes it from envy, which involves wanting something someone else has. Conventional wisdom holds that jealousy is a necessary emotion because it preserves social bonds, but it more often destroys them.

I recently read an open discussion on How to deal with jealousy in the workplace at Helium, a freelance writers' website.  I found the articles written by seven different writers from seven different backgrounds to be informative.  Most of us have been involved with, or have witnessed, workplace jealousies in the past, and we all know how difficult, yet important, it is to deal with these situations directly. 

I recommend reading all of the seven articles.  They provide interesting and different points of view.  Below, I’ve summarized what I feel to be the major points made by each author:

___________________________________________________________

Jean Sidden 

“(Jealousy) usually stems from a sense of low self-esteem.”
“..Try to ignore (a jealous colleague’s) bad attitude..” 
“..Jealousy is more unpleasant for the one who is feeling it..”

Tom Hicks 

“Avoid being jealous.”
“Make a strong attempt to be understanding (of a jealous colleague).”
“Ignore someone’s jealousy of you.”

Maria Papadopoulou 

“Show them that you are not competitive.”
“Be friendly.”
“Be helpful.”
“Praise (your jealous colleague).”

Maria C. Collins 

“Jealously is unreasonable and usually comes from lack of confidence.”
“If you are the boss or supervisor, try not to cause jealousy amongst workers.”
“If you observe jealousy between colleagues, do not feed it.”

Sun Meilan 

“Make sure it is jealousy before you take the matter further.”
“Look within yourself”
“Try talking to your colleague”
“Speak to someone senior”

Greg H. Huffman 

“Jealous people want what they can’t have.  It is that simple.”
“Beware of the jealous co-worker.  These people will try to destroy you..”
“How do you defend yourself… Destroy them with your success.”

Cody Hodge 

“Stay professional”
“Clear the air as soon as possible”
“Very rarely are things decided on personal vendettas”

  ____________________________________________________________ 

These articles provide us with some good (and some not so good) advice on how to handle workplace jealousy situations.  IMHO, I feel that it is best to try to understand and deal directly with this natural human emotion than it is to ignore it.

Your thoughts?

  

 

_____________________________________________________

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My dog died last weekend.

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Best friend I ever had

 

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Comments

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The issue with jealousy will always be self-recognition. A jealous person will never admit their emotions have anything to do with jealousy because the moment they do, they cease being jealous. Take the OWS crowd, would any of them describe their behavior as jealousy? I doubt it. And because jealous people will never identify themselves as such, I’m not sure if there is any useful advice for the 1% crowd/targets of jealous behavior.
Jealousy is one emotion humans have to learn to abandon for peace of mind that is.
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