Borborygmi

Steve Blevins

Steve Blevins
Location
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, USA
Birthday
November 05
Bio
Steve Blevins teaches medicine at the University of Oklahoma. He enjoys reading, music, and travel. He is interested in American and European history, French literature and culture, and music for piano and chamber ensemble.

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JANUARY 11, 2010 8:15AM

My Real Identity

Rate: 106 Flag

OS has been astir since Cartouche came out as O'Really. Now all OSers are divulging their true names, posting their true pictures, and identifying their alter egos. At first I was inclined to stay out of the fracas, but after some consideration, I've decided to come clean.

When I joined OS, I created a fictional character, Steve Blevins -- an affable, if somewhat eccentric, internist in Oklahoma City. I've enjoyed inhabiting that role, but it's time to come out of the shadows. 

man3 

My real name is Michael Worthington. I'm a 22-year old college senior majoring in biophysics at Stanford.

stanford 

Stanford University

After graduation, I'm taking a position as chief scientific investigator with a small but promising robotics firm in San Francisco.  I hope to move into my new apartment by September.  

apartment  

Apartment in San Francisco

I grew up with my parents and two younger siblings in Manchester-by-the-Sea, just twenty miles north of Boston. My father wanted me to follow in his footsteps at Harvard, but I insisted on going to the West Coast.

 boston

Home in Manchester-by-the-Sea

Last year, I was elected captain of the lacrosse team, but I turned it down so I could spend more time teaching disadvantaged children how to read. 

reading 

Susie, my pupil 

Music is my life. As a high school student, I spent summers in the Berkshires studying violin at the Tanglewood Music Festival. Now I'm assistant concert-master of the Stanford Symphony Orchestra. 

orchestra

Stanford Symphony Orchestra 

Thanks to a classmate, I've discovered the joys of rock-climbing. Last summer, my friends and I traveled to Provence to scale Les Gorges du Verdon. We had a blast!

gorges 

Gorges du Verdon

rock
Rock-climbing in Provence

It was there that I fell in love with French cuisine. Despite my parents' protests, I took a few cooking classes and immersed myself in Jacques Pépin's The Apprentice: My Life in the Kitchen.

Pepin 

But life hasn't been all that kind. I was devastated when Amy broke up with me last month. I sought the comfort of family and friends. My siblings, Mary and Luke, were wonderful. They've been interested in learning to ski since they saw me compete in the Chamonix Downhill.

ski 

The Downhill 

So during Winter Break, I took them to Gstaad and gave them ski lessons. They caught on quickly and had a great time. 

gstaad

Our hotel in Gstaad 

Still, I am lonely. Sometimes I fear I'll never fall in love again. But who knows? Maybe the right person will come along -- someone who enjoys Vivaldi and pinot gris on warm summer nights, who won't laugh when I overcook the lobster thermidor, who won't be ashamed to hold my hand as we glide down the moonlit slopes of Gstaad, who will humor me when I read Keats aloud or recite my favorite lines of Mallarmé. 

mallarme 

Stephane Mallarmé

Anyway, I apologize for not having always been so candid. My heart was in the right place. I wish to continue writing under my nom de plume, though each of you deserves to know the real man behind the writing. Thank you for your kindness and forbearance. 

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I don't know Steve. Given your true identity, I can understand why you kept it all under wraps. But the real you could take me awhile to adjust to....
That's ALL you've done? No wonder you created a more interesting character in that "Steve Blevins" dude.
It's going to take time to forgive you. And when I say time, I mean a week in Provence.
High-mindedness, a jealousy for good,
A loving-kindness for the great man's fame,
Dwells here and there with people of no name,
In noisome alley, and in pathless wood:
And where we think the truth least understood,
Oft may be found a "singleness of aim,"
That ought to frighten into hooded shame
A money-mongering, pitiable brood.
How glorious this affection for the cause
Of steadfast genius, toiling gallantly!
What when a stout unbending champion awes
Envy and malice to their native sty?
Unnumbered souls breathe out a still applause,
Proud to behold him in his country's eye.



Wiping away a tear.
Bravo, you brave, brave, young man, for revealing yourself to us.
Bon courage, mon petit
Are you kidding me, Steve? After all the emotional investment I had in you, you throw our life together into the refuse?

I'm never reading your blog again.
Wow. Plus, you're gorgeous.
LIAR! It's thirty miles to Manchester-by-the-Sea from Boston (which is on Cape Ann, btw)
So does that mean you were or were not ass raped in Fort Lauderdale?
And it worked so well because, in contrast to the aspirational identities, who would *pretend* to be in Oklahoma?
Hmm Stephen. What about your birth certificate, every diploma, grade school report cards, a current bill? I should send a list of all the Immigration and Naturalization requires. To get a green card, my husband had to submit a police report from everywhere he had ever lived.
Hey, mine WAS first a few minutes ago....that's weird....!
But will Jacques Pepin forgive your overcooked thermidor? I think he's the one you owe an apology to!
Consider yourself a fortunate man. I was getting a little sick of the "Doctor" guy and about ready to thump him. Because of his medical advice I haven't taken a solid shit in two weeks! So you're a little college boy. Hell, do something with your life like hitchhike to Mexico or join a rock band. Looks like you haven't accomplished anything much besides spending your granddaddy's money. Good riddance "Dr Blevins" Fuck, you ever see that poor bastard try to dance?
Steve - so you're finally coming out of the closet, as it were. Good for you. I trust while you were in your "experimental" phase, it was all you'd hoped it would be.
Your patients are going to be so confused. Or delighted.
How about proving people's avatar picture was taken now, not four years ago. In my early 20s I edited a world famous psychiatrist, Silvano Arieti and he insisted on using a 30-year-old picture on the dust jacket. The only reason I am not using a sexy picture of me in my 20s is that it would compromise my ability to talk about mothering and grandmothering.
oh Michael darling, I miss you too and this is a sensitive side of you I never saw before. I'd really like to get back with you and Daddy will be SO thrilled (don't forget about the trust fund I inherit when I turn 21 next week...speaking of which, where shall we celebrate - St. Bart's or Telluride? Love and kisses, Amy
PS - your writing on here has been cool in a geeky, nerdy sort of way.
You are so cool! I wish I was you. My real identity is even more tedious than my 'Steve Axelrod' nom de blog. Someone stole my identity on line and sent it back with a very insulting note. Sorry to disappoint you, identity thief! I hope everyone here turns out to be as cool as you. Maybe some of it will rub off.
What a hottie! Will you marry me? All the fiction you wrote shows a kind, deep and gentle soul under that hot, handsome skin! And who ever said that beauty is only skin deep? If you marry me, I promise to whisper dirty French sweet nothings in your ear and make every recipe created by Jacques Pepin from the time he was in swaddling clothes to the present...just for you!
I never suspected. This new guy sounds interesting, but I really like doctor character and hope he'll stick around. Sounds like the new guy might be a tad busy for OS anyway.
I thought you and Cartouche were the same person.
Your humility is obvious in this confession, which, undoubtedly, is why you neglected to mention the cancer cure you came up with in high school that won you the Intel Science Talent Search award a few years back. Nor did you mention that you narrowly lost out to Obama for the Nobel last year.

What an exquisite human being you are....
I thought you were black.
Steve ......errr, uh, Michael....I am so happy you have takentime from your busy life to continue writing on this forum. This is an inspiration to all of us to "simply be who we are!"
Steve, I'm astonished--and disappointed. After months of feeling that while I couldn't hold a candle to you in terms of quality entertainment for bloggers, at least I was less of a nerd than you. Now... now, I am crushed. All I can ask is, was that before or after you singlehandedly won the Olympics and suggested to this guy Barack that he run for president?
I knew it along. I'm good at picking up on subtle clues that no one else notices. Well-played, my young friend, well-played.
You had me at "astir."
Given this revelation, I'm guessing you returned those pocket protectors I sent you for your birthday.
How kind of you to grant us bits of your precious time and self. (No, seriously.)
Steve, this was droll and sly well-done.

Wait: Cartouche is O'Really? Really?
Great - now what am I going to do with my Official Steve Blevins Halloween costume??

There are no more heroes.
I don't know if I believe a 22 y.o. could possibly have had all the life experiences you write about with such authority. If this is your true bio, you sound like a pretty kewl guy and a helluva catch for any girl looking to connect.

"Last year, I was elected captain of the lacrosse team, but I turned it down so I would have more time to teach disadvantaged children how to read. " Are you sure this is true?

Well, whatever your personal facts, you qualify as a fine writer in my hometown.
Rated
Thank God, I was one of the special insiders who already knew. Otherwise this would have been such shock. Told you I could keep a secret!
That was rather clever. I bet you enjoyed it so. :)
I had indeed thought that Oklahoma ("God, guns and gays!"), was a strange place to find the witty, twisted, urbane-but-not-profane Dr. B.
That said, I now feel more comfortable revealing that my true identity is Sen. James Inhofe.
I am such a blithering idiot, lapping up these faux facts like they were Gospel.

You make a fine point here, put a hat on it and nobody will notice!
Well, I'm sure glad I didn't PM you for a diagnosis on my recent illness.
Steve, The Dude approves! Keep writing under that dufus looking guy. You're far to handsome and may take some of the babes that the Dude has his eye on. The Dude Abides!!
Your "real" identity is fabulous, but I truly love the one you've been presenting us all along. That one is able to take any situation and turn it golden through his words and wit.
Well....forgiveness comes at a price, a weekend on the cape will do. Just be sure your family has it fully stocked, and I am bringing several members of my family and I won't be responsible for any damage they may do. Those are my terms.
I am, in fact, Elvis. And I would like to take this opportunity to thank Procopius for his birthday wishes. Now, let's keep this between us, ok?
I completely understand . . . er . . . yeah.
I've never run into you in Manchester-by-the-Sea. But I've never been there. And Mallarmé liked plum pudding. That has nothing to do with what you wrote. I guess I'm a little off-kilter. I need see my doctor, this Oklahoma internist Dr. B!
Damn, I thought you were me.
22 years old?
Too young for me...
I was impressed by your extensive knowledge of classical music; and you are the only persona I came across in a while who knew and used the term "priapism". Those alone gave you an extra bonur in my books.
I'm glad you've "outed" yourself. I was having a difficult time keeping your secret, especially since I kept running into you on the slopes. (Sorry about that again and I hope the leg is healing beautifully!)
I have supected an alter ego, all along. Men are all about ego! Now that you have come out with this- I can stop winking at the doorman, and over tipping the waiter. I can stop looking over my shoulder at every man, woman, or child- that I supect you could be. I can stop the charade of my second identity. It has been twice the work. What a relief!

"Just be yourself." What a concept! I wish I had come up with it.

And all those times when I thought you might have been talking about me, behind my back, you were really just talking about the sex change- weren't you?
BONUS !
I'll never type without looking again.
Wow- great revelation! Congratulations on coming out of the shadows. However, I was a bit lost, as I have never read your blogs before and I'm new at this blogging thing. :)
Crap. I slept with your father when I was in college.
may i borrow the Pepin book when you're through?
I Googled Mr. Worthington
Here is the result-

Worthington, Michael T
DOB 1/3/88

Charge #1
Charge ID: 21087582
Unique Jurisdiction ID: CAALCH
Case #: 9876543CF
Charge County Name:
Detail Counter: 1
Statute: 794011 Statute Desc.:
File Date: Sentence Date: 10/01/2004
Charge Desc.: SEXUAL BATTERY
Charge Class: SECOND DEGREE FELONY
Disposition Date.: 10/01/2004
Disposition: GUILTY
Sentence: MAXIMUM:5 YEARS 6 MONTHS STATE PRISON Probation: MAXIMUM:5 YEARS 6 MONTHS STATE PRISON
Sequence #: 001

At least "Blevins" Worthington was honest about his age...
To think that I had completely invested myself in that boorish facade!
What, no Nobel Prize yet? I'm disappointed in you, Worthington.
Funny piece. R
why why why do you keep doing that to the lobster thermidor?! Is the problem with the Mornay sauce. Someone must speak up for the lobster faction here. Our numbers are legion.
I think it would be best if you became Steve Blevins again. I would have to hurt the person who could afford that apartment with my bare hands. Or push them off a cliff when rock-climbing.
I think you've tapped perfectly into the motivation behind these "second identities". Good job, now back to life as a caring internist, great writer and thinker, and all around sweet guy.
I have it on good authority -- Oily Taint, who has your birth certificate signed by Pope Benedict XIII -- that you are neither of the men you pretend to be, but that you are actually a Kenyan witch doctor kidnapped by Australian aborigines and forced to live-out your days running naked in the Outback. What say you to that, mate?
There was just a little bit of bullshit in this, right? LOL Someone needs a spanking, big time!

-R-
But you told me in a PM that you were a little flower girl in London, being taught to speak proper by one Henry Higgins. Ah, man, there was once a day when you could trust a little flower girl in London being taught to speak proper by one Henry Higgins.
So I'm thinking I ignore the medical advice you just gave me?????
I suspected as much. I must now admit with great shame that I am in fact, a dish of tuna salad, with elbow macaroni, and mayonnaise dressing.
Does this mean you're really not an Okie? Oh God! I just signed you up for Noodling News

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fi4Dq6v2yFE
Gimme a break--Susie is not disadvantaged. In fact, she's not even "Susie".
great..now what do i do if i get sick in oklahoma?
Truthful, huh? Funny you didn't mention the scar across your cheek from the time we dueled in Heidelberg.
I will never see you the same way again, if I ever did.
I have a single friend...she would love to see Paris with you! xox
~R~ for imagination!
Your tags give you away. Everytime.
And IMHO you have made the most cogent point in this drama...you put together a whole person, well kinda...with a few words and photos....xox
C'mon over and I'll give you some one on one personal instruction with the Thermidor. Just thinking about those big hard shelled lobsters full of sweet and succulent meat is making me very hungry and eager to assist you with this dish. Please come.
I'm looking for a pad in SF; I wonder if you'd consider taking on a roommate.

I can cook, ski, read, play lacrosse, rock climb, skydive (hey, there's something I could teach you!), play guitar and find you an excellent rebound romance to make you forget all about Amy.

I'll even clean the shower. But I don't do windows.
Wait! Does this mean you aren't really interested in borborygmi? I'm crushed. Those little grumbling sounds you hear is my heart sliding down into my intestines.

Ouch.
I don't know you anymore! *throws self on bed and wails
Gstaad?! That's crazy. I'm there right now, as my real identity, Roman Polanski! Drop by.
Sorry, you'll have to keep with the facade, we like Steve better.
Now that I see how cute you are, I'm going to be paying a whole lot more attention to you.Well, my avatar will. She's a cartoon, and not 'really' me, though she often acts and talks like me.
Wow, Steve, now I love you even more! This has been hilarious.
Kisses,
Marcela
Dear Steve/Michael
no wonder you didn't so far divulge your true identity; the hoi polloi can be so annoying when they sense true privilege and comeliness in their fellow O.S.'ers. This is exactly why I never talk about the extreme wealth of my family (I was weaned on black caviar, and owned my own camel when I was five), all of which my father lost in Monte Carlo one terrible night, suddenly turning my preteens into hell as our mansion shrunk into a cold-water five-floor walk up, the caviar into tapenade, my camel into a pet mouse and my future plans of world domination out of my private Aegean island into a miserable stint in Monklands' High School (in Montreal).
Enjoy your money and your good looks while they last, because before you know it you might in fact turn into a homely doctor in a second-rate city of the midwest with a silly name like Blevins.
You can't fool me, Rosanne, so stop all the nonsense and start wearing makeup again.
Well, Worthington, if you're gonna come clean, maybe we will. . .
We are actually the two remaining tigers at the SF Zoo. We lost Tatiana after she took out that punk, and we're lying low until the other two come back. Just one chance at them, that's all we ask!
Grrrrrowwwwllll!
~fatRocco and feralRusty (fierce or friendly, it's up to you)
I'm stunned, discombobulated and obstreperously atwitter! How could you? How come you? Who are you?

Actually, Maria, I did PM him for a diagnosis, and I got it, and now I'm O'Realllly scared!!
You have proven a really great point here and only used a few pictures and words. Showing that it can be done and it isn't hard to do..
HOT!! I will run off to pairs with you... smiles
Well, Mr. Worthington...IF that is indeed your real name, I am somewhat appalled yet understanding at your, uh, coming out to us on OS. I must say, if you were only twenty years older, gay, and maybe interested in a geeky, budding novelist living in San Diego suffering from bad eyes, and bipolarism and a perverse attraction to the actor Ryan Gosling, here's my cell: (619) 555-5555.

Be gentle, Mr. Worthington, I bruise easy...
and I was so convinced that you were actually Jocelyn Testes-Harder...
I'll take the Steve Blevins' "persona" any day. rated
Puts me in mind of "That's the Biggest Thing That Man Has Ever Done," a la Woodie Guthrie.
I'm not sure I know my real identity. I was 22 once-upon-a-time.
I spent many summers at Tanglewood and in Saratoga with the Phila Orchestra. You, Dr. Blevins (or whatever your name is) are no assistant concert-master of the Stanford Symphony Orchestra! You are Eugene Ormandy's long lost grandson!
Oh dear brother of mine, I bet it is refreshing to come out as your true self, I'm still going to stay in the closet, it's easier that way!!

**tears**

**runs off stage left**
Gosh, I have been to so many of those places (really...) that I must have run into you. You sure are cute as a button. I wish you were just 30 years older. Sigh. So, like, all that medical shit is, just, like, shit?
@Natalie ~ no, I'm the skydiver. and the roommate (well, hopefully).
I've had all day to think about it. I've decided I don't care who you are so long as I still get to be your sweetie.
ha!

But I always thought you were this guy:
http://b4a.healthyinterest.net/char/will.html

The Will Bailey character from The West Wing.
You are a complete and total mess, but I love that about you! Anonymity on the Internet? What a concept! Well done.
Sounds like an ideal man -- much too young a version though.
Steve,
I don't believe a word of this. I still believe you're Walter Blevins. Or, wait! I meant Walter Brennan.
Rated and appreciated.
I'm going to have to check your ID son.
Aw man, I liked the old Steve better!
But I guessed all this about you--Remember that PM where I said you seemed like a 22 yo with a mansion and directorship and musical talent and an inclination for rock-climbing?--and you said no, I had it all wrong! I feel so betrayed...
What? You too? Aw, man. What's going to happen next here on OS: finding out that The Squirrel isn't really a rodent?
God, how I hate yuppies! Please, please tell me this is not the real you. I do like that apartment you plan in moving into, though. What area of SF is it in?

Well, I needed a wakeup call. What you see on the internet is not necessarily reality. However, I must confess I never realized it was possible to assume a false identity. Since I have always used my real name, I guess it's too late.
here you can be anyone
great post
I'm devastated! Want some company in Gstaad?
You're not fooling me, you're really Julia Child.
I don't care what your name is or what you look like. You make me very happy! Come walk at Singing Beach anytime you're out east again...love Manchester-by-the-Sea (except it takes too long to type and the parking sucks!). You are a breath of fresh sea air.
...I still love ya bro
Pleasure to meet you, Sir.
Rated.
I like Steve Blevins better. That Worthington character sounds like a pretentious douchebag.
Really, Michael, 'nom de plume'! You didn't simply assume another name, you took on an entire identity while fitting yourself to a particular social role, therefore, 'nom de guerre' is the proper term. What a vile error. You should know better, with all your breeding and hurumph hurumph....
That looks like my apartment in SF :D
I'm new to the OS community (so new I feel like a poser for calling it "OS") but thanks to your comments and posts I feel like I'm a regular. I understand this post to be in direct response to Cartouche's "coming out" piece. And I'm grateful for the laugh and for the introduction to Cartouche's and (consequently) O'Really's writings. Thank you.
And all the time I was preteneding to be do Blevins. jesus, this has to stop somewhere, or undle is going to turn out to be my dog's best friend and my sister will be on car titres.
Wow...look at you ! My perseption has been turned upsidedown and backwards.
He's just a chip off the old block. If I could remember your mother's name I would take up those paternal responsibilities. You have to understand, though. I had a bit too much pinot noir that night...(chuckles)
Everyone understands that my last comment was satire, right?

No.

Really.
Ha, that's quite an..um...series of facts about you. very funny. rated.
Steve, this was totally hilarious. I am so sorry I missed it back then but better late than never. A great twist on the identity crisis on OS back then. I don't know exactly who comes to mind reading this but Kafka, who wasn't a laugh a minute comes to mind. I love the Gstaad and Mallarme. Just brilliant! ( and that little impoverished girl reading looks upper class to me).
Thanks for the party, Worthington.