I'm a selfish bastard.
When I joined Open Salon six months ago, I found literary freedom. No one questioned my choice of topics. No one restricted my hours. No one limited my space. No one charged me a red cent for the expensive technology that allows me to communicate with the world.
And how did I use that freedom?
I wrote about classical music, poetry, health care and travel -- things I care about. Since its inception, this blog has been about me, me, me. That's right. It's been all take and no give. Why?
Because I'm a selfish bastard.
Not once have I written about transsexuality. Not once have I written about kitty cats. Not once have I written about ... (gulp) ... television.
Well, my selfish days are over. Today's post is not about me or my interests. It's about the The Great Cause. It's about -- TELEVISION!!!
Yeah, I know. I haven't watched television since junior high, so I'm not qualified to write about Mad Men or I Love Lucy or whatever else is on the fucktube. But that doesn't mean I can't contribute.
Today I'm giving it the old college try. I'm writing about the last show I saw on television -- Season 8, Episode 13 of Gilligan's Island.
The episode begins with Gilligan listening to the radio. He hears something that surprises him. I don't remember what. (It was thirty years ago!) In any case, he communicates what he hears to the skipper, who is equally surprised.
The skipper takes the matter seriously. He decides to act on the news. I don't remember how. Anyway, a robot ... or alien ... or something appears on the island. This is unexpected.
The robot-alien is integral to the story. Everyone is engrossed with him. At some point, Mary Ann appears. (Or was it Marianne? Marian, maybe?) Well, anyway, she shows up in shorts.
She says something to someone. Probably the professor. All I remember is having a wet dream that night. Then Tina Louise appears. Everyone calls her Ginger. To me, she is -- and always will be -- Tina.
This is my favorite part of the show. Unfortunately, I missed some of it because I was crossing my legs and hoping mom wouldn't notice... well, anyway, at the end of the show, Gilligan ends up in a super-cool car!
Ginger is standing by the car. She is hawt! She looks AWESOME in her long red dress! Almost as good as in her bikini!
And the story ends with everyone still on the island, and Mariane and Tina looking hot as ever!
Thanks, OS, for six great months! I promise I'll throw you a bone from time to time.