Borborygmi

Steve Blevins

Steve Blevins
Location
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, USA
Birthday
November 05
Bio
Steve Blevins teaches medicine at the University of Oklahoma. He enjoys reading, music, and travel. He is interested in American and European history, French literature and culture, and music for piano and chamber ensemble.

MY RECENT POSTS

Steve Blevins's Links

MY LINKS
No links in this category.
JULY 24, 2009 8:30AM

Vegas was Great!

Rate: 56 Flag

vegas  

I apologize for taking so long to report on the meet-up in Las Vegas. I've been busy and haven't had much time to write. Fortunately, my fellow OSers have done a good job of describing the affair. I'm sure they'll post more details later. 

Because of a mix-up, the only person I got to meet was Sandra Stephens.  I am grateful to Cartouche, Lonnie Lazar, and others for sending me pictures of the people and places I missed. 

Las Vegas is VERY hot in the summer. I don't like hot weather, but I was happy to have the opportunity to meet my OS friends. This was my second trip to Vegas.  I had forgotten how spectacular the city is, especially at night.

vegas 

The "Strip," as seen from my balcony

I arrived in the morning and went directly to my suite at the Four Seasons. The accommodations were excellent, although the champagne was not chilled to my specifications.  

Four Seasons

My suite at the Four Seasons 

After a day on the town, I tried calling my OS friends, all of whom had checked into Bellagio. The only one I could reach was Sandra, who updated me on the events of the day. 

It turns out that Las Vegas was not the best choice for a getaway. When the trip was organized, no one knew that m.a.h. had a drinking problem or that Lonnie was a compulsive gambler. 

Dorinda Fox, the Puritan of the group, was peeved from the moment she saw a bacchanale in the making. She criticized m.a.h. for drinking to excess, which made m.a.h. angry. When m.a.h. finally reached the boiling point, she almost punched Dorinda in the face. Fortunately, Sandra was there to intervene.

fight

Sandra prevents m.a.h. from beating up Dorinda 

Before anyone was injured, Cartouche arrived with news that Lonnie had lost $35 gambling and was kicking the slot machine.  AZ David tried to stop him from breaking the machine, which led to a brawl. The fight gradually worked its way to the street. Within a half hour, a crowd had gathered to watch it. David Decker and Dynomite stood on the sidelines.

fight2 

Lonnie and AZ David fighting it out

Finally, the cops were called and both guys were arrested.

arrest 

Lonnie gets arrested

At this point, AZ regreted his efforts to protect Lonnie.

jail  

AZ David in the slammer

Of course, I was totally in the dark about this.  If I had known what was going on, I would have left Bartolotta's (where the rack of lamb was prepared to perfection!) to help my friends.  

bartolotta 

Bartolotta's, where I had dinner

Lonnie contacted Cartouche from jail to inform her of the situation. Car-touche immediately worked on a plan to rescue the guys. She assembled the OS women and started collecting money to post bail. Unfortunately, the women had spent all their money gambling that afternoon. All they had left was their ingenuity (which is considerable). Within a few minutes, they had figured out how to raise the money. 

Cartouche, the consummate artist, painted a self-portrait and sold it on the street for $20.

paintings

Self-portrait  by Cartouche 

 

  Pretend Farmer and Verbal Remedy found "floor work" at the Hilton.

maids 

 

Buffy W "played the pole" for visitors at a local club.

poll

   

And Emma Peel raised more than $100 in her own inimitable way.

prostitute

 

All of this could have been avoided if I had known what was happening. I had enough money in my wallet to bail out Lonnie, but no one bothered to contact me, so I ended up spending the evening with some delightful people I'd met at the Venetian Hotel. 

casino 

My non-OS friends at the Venetian

Ultimately, Lonnie and AZ were rescued, thanks to the resourcefulness of the OS women. Of course, they were broke now and could no longer stay at Bellagio, so they camped out in the parking lot of the Motel Regency, where they exchanged OS stories.  

motel

Motel Regency

(The Regency was chosen because m.a.h. was already parked there).

drunk

m.a.h.   

cat

Dorinda's cat 

Sadly, I never got to meet any of my OS friends in person except Sandra, who told me the story that evening. 

Seeing Sandra made the trip worthwhile. She is a wonderful person and a fantastic writer. We spent the whole evening reminiscing about OS. I hope someone organizes another trip like this again.

couple1 

Sandra and me

Your tags:

TIP:

Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Recipient's email address:
Personal message (optional):

Your email address:

Comments

Type your comment below:
Glad to see the truth is finally coming out. I felt the other recollections were far to sunny.
Sounds like you were on a trip... of some sort. Glad you had fun.
(can I get a scrip for whatever you were on?)
You know the funniest part, folks? I spoke to cartouche, and all of this is true.
Holy Fuck - this was hilarious. Better than all the actual reports put together.
I'm not falling for your tall tales anymore but I will admit, this whole post had me laughing out loud so early in the morning. Can't wait to see you next week at the Boulder OS get together!
See - now THAT's a trip to Vegas!
I. Am. Fucking. WHEEZING!

Haven't laughed this hard in a long, long time.

Damn you to HELL for reporting the True Story!
Steve, I'm finally catching on to you! :) This one was just too over the top! I loved it. I am trying to figure out if you were even in Las Vegas. My gut tells me, "no." For a "nerd" you sure are a lot of fun!
I am glad you recovered from the champagne incident. Could have ruined the entire trip. How come I wasn't invited? I'm only a couple of states away, elitists fuckers! What they figured a guy who hangs out in Indian casinos wouldn't be able to handle the 'big city"? We can always count on you for some real reporting, Steven. Looks like it will now be Sandra, no longer Stephens, Belvins you lucky dog.
Man! Steve! You should do a blog about this!


BTW......the self portrait is by Lee Godie, a street artist in Chicago active in the 60's-80's. She used to hawk her pieces in front of the Art Institute. I talked to her many times, LJ has some of her best work. Lee Godie was an incredibly interesting character, with stories and advice about making selling and preserving one's Art work.
Well, I just spit and sputtered as I tried RE-eplaining the pole burn, etc. to my husband. The rug burn...well, thanks for NOT bringing that up!

You are too funny Steve...thanks for clearing our group consciousness.
Great stuff, Steve! You had me believing this right up until the picture of you and Sandra ... that's not Sandra! This should become a soap ... "Like sand up a farmer's ass, these are the ways of our wives."
After telling the "whole story" you know that you are never ever going to get invited to another OS gathering!
Lets' see. Where should I start? Oh about this:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

So all these sophisticated OS writers revert back to their college days.

Have you see the movie "Hangover?"

It's 7:40am in San Diego and I'm already laughing my ass off!!

Great piece, Mr. Blevins.

I'll be chuckling all day long...

;)
One more thing. Notice the innocent nature Mr. Blevins portrays himself.

Yeah, right!

;)
I can see that Susan didn't make the trip with you. Report back in nine months on the birth of your new son.
Oh, my........I began reading this, thinking, "Oh, goodie--another Vegas report!" And when you started whining about the champagne not being the right temp, I thought, "Hmmm.....maybe this ISN'T a 'true' report." And then it got funnier and funnier--and the pics you found to go along with the text were wonderful! It's good to know there's a physician out there with a sense of humor (albeit a little skewed--but that's what makes you fit in so well here!). Rated for creativity! D
I'm glad that you were able to document the true Vegas story. The other OSers worked too hard to maintain a prim and proper image of themselves.
It is always important to have a reporter live on the scene.

That fight between m.a.h. and Dorinda looked scary.

Catty and HOT, but scary.

But I have to ask, for Freaky's sake, was CAKE involved?
Steve, I am growing increasingly concerned about your patients.
This was very funny.
I think you are the only one who should be allowed to write these reports.
This is what I absolutely ADORE about social networking. There are so many versions of the truth. Frankly, however, since you "verified" your report with pictures, I tend to assume this is the truly accurate report yet.
Oh great, I wrote "truly accurate report yet." Pass the warm champagne, please
Such a beautiful story!! ~tears~ Drunken cats and prostitution, that's what gatherings are all about!!!

:)
I love your delusions of grandeur, Steve. Lonnie only lost $20 and it wasn't even his own money. Did Sandra tell you about her lucky number 13? I guess not..... HYSTERICAL. And sadly, almost accurate! xoxo
Steve Blevins, you are a genius! Sorry we missed you! Now I know what they were doing when I wasn't around....
I know I can always count on you for the truth. When will there be an OS meeting in Paris?
I haven't laughed so hard in ages. I am so glad that I can still "pull" from the street. LOL
@emma: Go on with your bad self! xoxoxo!
oh, i adore you. this is hilarious. all the visuals are excellent!! i hope you come by my SEX post about my visit here in portland with OS Denese and her husband and all the drunken SEX we all had together and with the wonderpups. you might be envious but you are welcome to join us the next time they visit. love lvoe love
Oh my! You guys know how to party!
OMG this is so funny. It's so funny that my Sigoth, who doesn't even know about the Vegas trip, came rushing in to see what was so funny and he thinks it's funny!
Steve, I know this isn't true, because you left out the part where you won $150 million playing Texas Hold'em against a pale-skinned guy with an eye that weeps blood.
So pleased to see that you managed a few moment's respite - and let the cats herd themselves.
Who know OS'ers were such a bunch of drunk fighters? =o) We can't leave you unsupervised ANYWHERE! I sure hope that "What happens in Vegas STAYS in Vegas" is true for some of you. Although I suppose Lonnie and AZ David might argue about that. They've probably had enough of Las Vegas for a while.

Steve, that suite looks rather nice, but if my champagne is one degree fahrenheit warmer than I want it, I check out at once. A hotel may be perfect in every other respect, bt they only get ONE chance with my champagne.

Funny Post!

Rated
just found this....hilarious.
Oh my gosh...is Dorinda's cat going to be OK?
I knew there was more to the story.
This is why I didn't go. Thanks for confirming my worst fears.
Well, I'm just shocked about Dorinda's cat!
Bravo! I think it's time we organize a m.a.h. intervention...though she does look splendid in floral.

Truly though - a real lesson in imaginative and fun writing. Good job.
Hey I noticed your headline read backward says "I'm gay Rob Rob". Who's Rob Rob? And what's he got that I haven't?
Steve, I've been out of pocket for a few days so am just getting around to reading your post.
I just wanted to say that I think you are brilliant!
Steve, I love it when you do these OS meetup posts. You are a funny man.
Wow, Steve. I am just sad I couldn't be there to partake in the fun. Of course, maybe next time I could set up a first aid room. I could have helped Dorinda's cat detox, or handed out antibiotics to those who pick up STDs while they are out "working" or "having fun," or even put ice on black eyes.
I never get invited to these things, yo! Do you think it's because I have too much booty in my pants?
Dear Steve,
Inspired in part by this post, I've taken the liberty of nominating you to replace Ms. Abdul on American Idol. I hope you don't mind.

Sincerely,
Pablo
Hilariously Brilliant! Rated!