snarkychaser's Blog

Chasing the Elusive is My Muse.


New Jersey, USA
January 01
Snarky is my elusive muse. It is grasping for the unobtainable that causes anguish, and in the anguish and negative space, creativity can flourish.However, I am afraid that Snarky has given me very little to chase after lately....maybe...if I'm really lucky, he will send me a picture of his poison ivy.



MAY 23, 2012 1:32PM

Smelly Girl

Rate: 16 Flag

If only I had consulted the internet before today. There are so many posts on how to tell someone they smell. For months there has been a smelly au pair at my gym. I have tried to ignore it but I can’t. Whenever I see this poor girl anywhere in town, I have to fight the urge to gag.

Unfortunately the cardio room of my local Y is small. It is always a little smelly but when this cute little foreign girl gets on the elliptical machine, her body heats up and the room soon reeks of onions, garlic and stale sweat from the day before. My sense of smell is superior to most others. When I was pregnant, I was able to detect small gas leaks in my house were undetectable to our local electric company without special machinery. Perhaps I can chalk it to hormones. A friend of mine recently noticed that she was also sensitive in our heightened premenopausal state and could even tell when her executive assistant was menstruating.

I have discussed this smell problem to a friend- who is staff at the Y- but I realize that it is so awkward many people won’t say anything. The policy is that a director of the same sex must approach the person. However, months have gone by and the girl still smells. She also wears the same T shirt most days, so that may be the problem. I have noticed that many college boys and divorced men have a habit of wearing their gym clothes more than once. The result is the unmistakable fermenting odor of day or week old sweat that is familiar to any high school athlete.

Earthy smells are fine with me. I love men to have a scent. My husband does not ever smell stinky but rather like fast food french fries and the stinkiest he gets is where he smells like slightly rancid fries- but still yummy enough to eat. I love the raw smell of men and realize that it is one of my key indicators for arousal. Fresh sweat is sexy, however, old sweat is not.

Of course women smell too. You only have to go into a stall of a public bathroom to smell the day old aroma of the woman’s groin that peed minutes before. We produce so much liquid, this is why a woman’s own vaginal juices make the best perfume to attract the opposite sex; however, my smelly au pair is not sexy to me and I am now forced to change my machine when she approaches. Sometimes I do it preemptively, not only to get away from the smell, but so that the other gym members don’t mistake me as the offender.

However, today, I ran into another au pair who works out in the weight room. I gathered up my courage to speak to him about his fellow country woman. This man is so sweet and I knew he could help me break it to her gently so that she would not be alienated by her fellows nor have her feelings hurt. I suggested that he mention a crazy woman who lifts with him that was touting the health benefits of using a little hand sanitizer under the arms before her work out. It is mostly alcohol based and will not interfere with the body’s natural mechanisms the way that antiperspirants do. Even if she does not follow-up on this advice, I have no doubt that the other guys who were ease dropping on our conversation will.


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Here's wishing you luck!
This post ignited a conversation between my daughter and I. We are now talking about being a colony of organisms and our bodies better learn how to keep them all under control. Probiotics in intestines and now these bacteria in our armpits etc etc. Alcohol, bleach, hydrogen peroxide and vinegar are such important things and I think more natural than those dam sticks of gooey stuff that I always hated. Thanks!
Myriad- My friend tells me that I just need to switch to a better ventilated gym.

Zanelle, I use antiperspirant occasionally but use alcohol and crystal everyday. I work out hard almost everyday and find that it is better to cleanse before body heat gets odor moving. I don't want to be silly about the human body: there is a fine line between sexy and offensive. Of course it is cultural.
I once was a regular "guest" at a walk-in petri dish referred to satirically as a "health and fitness center." Maybe I'm a stone heavier and possibly a bit less toned since I cut and ran, but I save a bundle and I can now try to have faith in the hygiene of the colleagues whom I encounter away from that facility.
PJ- Gyms are very germy. I once heard that most HS athletes have resistant staph bacteria in their noses. There is a man and women who wear gloves. One is a hand model, the other is just .....
Zanelle- Did you read the article on the bacteria in our bodies, in Scientific American?
What if she were to do the steam room before her workout? Sweat out the onions and garlic.
I have a solution for you. Wear a clothespin on your nose. It will keep you from smelling anything, and the au pair might get the hint.
Oh I couldn't tell her! What a dilemma!
I to have highly developed olfactory senses. Some people just smell horrible there's nothing we can do about it. Maybe we should try snorting some Methamphetamine.
A true conundrum. Hope it works out.
Chiacken- au pairs don't usually get to go to room with sauna- that is only for Gold members. Gold members also get free laundry service.

Arthur- The clothespin might detract from the allure of the vaginal juice perfume.

Lucinda- I have been advised by friend who works there to tell a trainer...she teaches swimming and has to tell people to take baths all the time.

Jack- I knew you had a gift like me. Perhaps we can be in new Xmen movie.

Just Phyliss- Thanks. Just writing this helped...I am not a helpless cog in the world of fitness. I can make change.
pheromones make the world go round. there is strong scientific support for what your nose knows. in fact the histocompatibility & mate attraction/compatibility is now demonstrated to be related to smell.
VZN- My daughter says that the attraction is linked to immune system compatibility. We pick those with different immune systems. I wonder if immune systems have their own signature pheromones.
Luck indeed. I've also found that talking about a soap or anti-perspirant that is "just great, you have to try it now!" sometimes gets the message across.
I love the way you put it, differentiating between the sexy fresh sweat and the old sweat. What a difference it is.
There was a mail room woman where I worked long ago who did the opposite to the extremes. She doused with so much perfume you could smell her coming from the other side of the floor when she stepped off the elevator. Your mail, literally smelled of her all day.
So many complained that HR told her to back off the scent dousing.
Her nose was destroyed by that point and I truly think she did not know the difference. They would have done better issuing nose plugs.
rated with love
I wish you the best. You might consider buying the au pair a bar of deodorant soap -- the kind with no scent. Just make it a present. I was embarrassed to have to get off the bus when a homeless man got on and sat near me. I don't think the man had bathed in over a month. I'm a smell-dominant, too.
Good post! As a long time gym rat I've no reached that age where I cease to care; if a "regular" comes in stinking I just tell him. Yeah, sadly it's always a young male.
Beautiful picture.
Different folk have different odors, we all stink in our own ways... I just try to clean up before I go out into the world, but every non-smoker can smell the cigarette smoke on me... such is life.