snarkychaser's Blog

Chasing the Elusive is My Muse.


New Jersey, USA
January 01
Snarky is my elusive muse. It is grasping for the unobtainable that causes anguish, and in the anguish and negative space, creativity can flourish.However, I am afraid that Snarky has given me very little to chase after lately....maybe...if I'm really lucky, he will send me a picture of his poison ivy.



JULY 21, 2010 11:09AM

When Was Conditioner Ever Sexy?

Rate: 16 Flag

Are middle-aged suburban moms silly? We must seem silly to a lot of people. Certainly my daughter thinks that I am very silly. Of course it is the middle aged crisis that I am having that makes me think that all men of a certain age are in love with me. I’m sure they are. However, I also think that all men are in love with my friend, Natalie. She disagrees, except for one, the hairdresser, Alberto at Supercuts.

  One day, when we were walking our children to school, she confessed that she thought Alberto was very sexy. He is somewhere around our age and this is a change of career for him. That morning, she shyly admitted that Alberto was very flirtatious with her. She was sure that he might have a little crush on her. For instance, he told her the other day, “You need to put a good conditioner in your hair. Then while it is soaking in your hair, you can rub your whole body clean. Then rinse.” Natalie mimicked Alberto rubbing his body in a very suggestive way. I told her that I would have to check Alberto out for myself.

 Of course she did not believe me. She knows that I am very bad with money and that I can’t stand Supercuts because I often have to wait for hours just to get a $12 hair cut. I really think you have to do the analysis of how much your time is actually worth. Natalie is adamant that expensive haircuts are just not worth the money and Alberto is great! Natalie, is very good at being frugal and is showing me the ropes. For instance, she buys expired Vitamin Water at the dollar store. “Who cares” she says. She has tried to convince me to give up my Diet Coke habit because it is just too expensive. I will never have the will to do such an extreme thing, however, the hair cut, I would try.

Last December, one evening my daughter and I met Natalie at Supercuts. We waited for hours just to get Alberto.

   Nina and me supercuts

 This is how bored we were. Finally after two hours. Natalie went first and then I got a chance to have the sexy Alberto.

   Alberto and me

 Alberto and me

 Supercuts was practically closed by the time we were finished and Natalie had long gone. As my daughter and I stepped up to the cash register to pay, Alberto rang us up and recommended a good conditioner for my daughter. He turned to the two of and said “You just put this in your hair and rub your body all over” He mimed a shower “And then…you can rinse.” I didn’t have the heart to tell Natalie.

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Alberto (VO5?) sounds like he has a pre-existing condition(er)....
lol...I was wondering if he made up his name for his new career.
Ha! He sure is a sexy looking guy. I think he needs to graduate up from Supercuts tho. He has "it".
Zanelle- He does. When he opens up his own place and I can actually make an appointment and not wait for hours, I will be his devoted client.
Silly is a great attitude for having fun. Anybody who says mean things about silly, isn't having fun.
Gezzer- That seems to be much of the humanity I come into contact with lately. I'm OK with being perceived as just takes them off guard when I can be very formidable.
I hope Nina doesn't read OS. Now you have made me wonder if my wonderful male hair dresser tells all of his clients that they look like a Hottie.
OMG! There a few things worse than a "Conditioner Gigolo"! I bet Alberto isn't even his real name!

(Besides he looks a little like Tom Cruise. Did he pitch Scientology to you as well???)
Poetess- Nina deserves this for saying that she was too busy to read my blog. If she reads now, she will discover the unpleasant truth...let's keep our fingers crossed.

Bonnie- I am going to get some Tame...I don't have time to do the kind of washing and conditioning that Alberto would suggest.

Safe Bet- I hadn't thought about the Scientology angle...I wonder what the give away might be?
What a dreamboat. I bet all the ladies at the SuperCuts forego "next available" to wait their turns with Alberto. I know I would. Last time I was at Supercuts it was more like the first 20 minutes of every Army movie, ever. All men, all clippers, all the time.
Raving Bits- You are funny. Sometimes I take my son there on impulse.I always have to tell them no buzzers. I do not want him to look like a cop.He is a little boy.
You deserve a$12 treat - wonderful story.
knuthf- thank you...I felt so virtuous after writing this that I just bought a new dress. You are the only man who commented, I think I may have to move to Norway.
Great story, but I still hate Supercuts. I hate having to get my hair cut at all, but maybe I wouldn't mind if Alberto cut it. -R-
i'll have to take your word for it
he doesn't do a thing for me.
maybe it's because i'm straight
or because you are sooo much more attractive to me.
nope no or it's you he doesn't count.
Christine- I hate Supercuts too but I just discovered that my hairdresser has raised her a lot. I have experimented. Alberto is the only other one that has done a good job.

Wshanz- Alberto is Nina's. And to think that Nina and I had come to terms with her being my next lover..since boys fall short. This Alberto thing has thrown a wrench in it.
Alberto should charge more than $12 for such star treatment!
Grace- perhaps I should think about backing Alberto in his own place...maybe he isn't even a good cutter...but just knows how to make us feel beautiful... for a split second.
he's a hottie! fun story :)
Yes, I can see that all middle-aged men love you. Add me.
All three of you are dreamboats, let's be honest. You seem silly in the best way. I think silly is sorely lacking most of the time.
Just like Derek Jeter, Alberto is really good-looking no way around it. If I cant get him I try for Erica who is from Costa rica & dazzlingly cute or Kim who gives great cuts but may not be there anymore

BTW I do that shampoo first then shower then condition maneuver he taught me and it works great
Westfield- should we have a date at Supercuts?