Simply Simple

Simply Simple
Location
Missouri,
Birthday
December 31
Bio
You want too much OS. Just how am I supposed to write a bio? How? How can I confine myself! Everything about me to this little box. How?

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Salon.com
SEPTEMBER 7, 2011 5:59PM

Moving Forward Before You Move On

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Zach and I are over. Done. Closed Book. End of Story.

Gosh that was hard to say, but I'm finally doing it and now he wants to screw with my head some more. Excellent. Just what I wanted. 

I felt stuck in my last relationship. I didn't really see anything beyond it. We (Zach and I) had been together for a long time and it seemed like there would never be anything else (unrealistic: yes) but i didn't feel that I got enough attention from him. No I wasn't some attention crqazed lunatic, but he didn't seem to want to invest too much into "us" anymore, so I broke up with him. It was hard but it seemed right. Then I couldn't stop thinking about him and we ended getting back together somehow. ANd then I was mad at myself for doing that. I had finally ended it and now here I am a week alter back in the same dead-end relationship? SO I broke up with him, again. It's been a little over a week now since we broke up. I think I'm finally coming to terms with that. But in the meantime, another boy comes into the picture. He was there when Zach wasn't. Before if I had a poblem I would have went to Zach. He was there for me and he knew what to say  (over text message because actual words seem to fail him) and things sort of just happened and now I'm dating Brenner. I like him, he likes me. We aren't fighintg every few days. He doesn't amke me feel like crap and he acts like wants to keep us together because i belive he does and I do too. Then Zach decides to make a snide little comment to me about it. Something like "You and Brenner? Guess you got over it." By it he was meaning me and him because earlier we had argued about him being voer eveyrthing so quickly (which now I question if he was). I decide no more putting on a brave smile and pretending eveyrthing is just peachy (because that worked so well while we dating since we ended up breaking up, twice) But when I go to talk to him, he looks right at me and walks off as quickly as possible. Wow. SO now I wonder: Is he jealous or does he just hate me? And I wonder too if I should be the one to try and fix this, again. He not much for being upfront with his feelings about things like this. Honestly I'm not over him, but I'm moving forward. Brenner is great. I don't really like starting a new relationship. Zach knows me through and through, but I suppose at some point a girl has to move on. Now I'm stuck at a crossroad. Break-up with Brenner just so Zach will leave me alone? (Yeah that isn't happening.) Tell Zach "what's up" and try and fix things so we arn't hostile? Or just go on living life hoping one day he gets over this all on his own?

I have nervous anxious butterflies. I'm scared of what will happen next and I'm not sure I want to know.

  Signing off,

Simply Simple

Tired of Freaking Boy Drama 

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Seems you really care about Zach, or you would not want to fix things. Brenner is new, exciting and a little more attentive, that will all end to sometime. Did Zach love you just not pay attention as much as you wanted, did he hit you treat you like a sex toy and go for a beer. What is Brenner another man, nothing much more or is he. If Zach was so bad why be worried, why care. If Brenner is the one also then why care about Zach. You look very young, a lot of living to do yet, many things to learn. No matter which you stay with or go back to it will always be the same when you settle down from the NEW. It is hard work, this love thing, communication, sacrifice, and most a desire to keep going because love with one is always worth it in the long run. Hard times, outside problems may be what Zach did not know how to talk about with you, easier to ignore and isolate himself, maybe, maybe not. Your young good luck with the choices you have with this. Communication, I mean real sit down and talking about what is the issue, which goes for either you stay with because this is going to happen again and again unless you talk it through. If then that is not good and does not work then it really is done.
lastamerican
September 07, 2011 07:13 PM
I can tell you one thing, Zach's mad. And I think by mad; he was hiding his feeling of upset. I honestly do think he's scared. More like me in a way. I'm scared of relationship. He might've just been worried, that you were the one that didn't want to take it fast...maybe he wanted it to last. My opinion; talk to him. He might just feel like you never cared, because you're dating another guy. But I can tell you one thing, my boyfriend, Logan..we aren't always perfect, but I like that. I don't care that we have problems some times, I love him through it all. If it wasn't that way with Zach, it's not worth it. If Brenner makes you happy, go for it. Remember, you're fourteen. A broken heart won't last forever. It's your time to adventure..not by being the school slut or anything, but find out what you want. I doubt anything at this age will last. And if you make a mistake; so be it. Do whatever you feel is right. God's leaning you down the right path. He's either proving to you that by dating Brenner, you miss Zach. Or that you didn't need Zach..either way, it doesn't matter. What you want, is what you do. I love you dear
mistylee<3
September 07, 2011 10:22 PM
Zach just didn't pay enough attention to me. And He wouldn't be direct or honest with me. Instead of telling me what was going on he would tell everyone else and eventually i would hear things via a third party. He's a pleaser. What I mean by that is, he just wants everyone to be happy all the time. Instead of dealing with a little bit of sadness or discomfort he would pretend things were fine until they were because everyone worked them out on their own. He just didn't communicate well. It was like pulling teeth to get him to say what was on his mind. Really a relationship with crappy communication is pretty silly, don't you think? I'm young. Most likely this isn't going to last forever. Through all this I've come to the conclusion that despite what I say, I really do care about Zach. A lot. It's just he wouldn't be direct or open with me. He'd rather pretend things were peachy or confide in someone else. This made me feel like a last resort. Why tell everyone else about us except me? Sometimes I just felt like he didn't care. I've confronted him on both of these things multiple times. He swears he cares. He always had something sweet to say or an empty promise to bring about a short solution, but then the next day everything would be the same. We'd have the same fight again and again until I just gave up and accepted that he wasn't ever going to tell me what was on his mind or show that he cared. That isn't right, is it? Just to pretend I'm happy when I'm not? So I broke up with him, but I've regretted it and regretted it. I've played this all over in my mind so many times and any scenario that ends with us still being well "us" seems unrealistic. Is there a point of no return with these things? Am I there? Part of me wants him back and part of me feels like the only thing left to do is move on.
Simply Simple
September 09, 2011 12:31 AM