Zach and I are over. Done. Closed Book. End of Story.
Gosh that was hard to say, but I'm finally doing it and now he wants to screw with my head some more. Excellent. Just what I wanted.
I felt stuck in my last relationship. I didn't really see anything beyond it. We (Zach and I) had been together for a long time and it seemed like there would never be anything else (unrealistic: yes) but i didn't feel that I got enough attention from him. No I wasn't some attention crqazed lunatic, but he didn't seem to want to invest too much into "us" anymore, so I broke up with him. It was hard but it seemed right. Then I couldn't stop thinking about him and we ended getting back together somehow. ANd then I was mad at myself for doing that. I had finally ended it and now here I am a week alter back in the same dead-end relationship? SO I broke up with him, again. It's been a little over a week now since we broke up. I think I'm finally coming to terms with that. But in the meantime, another boy comes into the picture. He was there when Zach wasn't. Before if I had a poblem I would have went to Zach. He was there for me and he knew what to say (over text message because actual words seem to fail him) and things sort of just happened and now I'm dating Brenner. I like him, he likes me. We aren't fighintg every few days. He doesn't amke me feel like crap and he acts like wants to keep us together because i belive he does and I do too. Then Zach decides to make a snide little comment to me about it. Something like "You and Brenner? Guess you got over it." By it he was meaning me and him because earlier we had argued about him being voer eveyrthing so quickly (which now I question if he was). I decide no more putting on a brave smile and pretending eveyrthing is just peachy (because that worked so well while we dating since we ended up breaking up, twice) But when I go to talk to him, he looks right at me and walks off as quickly as possible. Wow. SO now I wonder: Is he jealous or does he just hate me? And I wonder too if I should be the one to try and fix this, again. He not much for being upfront with his feelings about things like this. Honestly I'm not over him, but I'm moving forward. Brenner is great. I don't really like starting a new relationship. Zach knows me through and through, but I suppose at some point a girl has to move on. Now I'm stuck at a crossroad. Break-up with Brenner just so Zach will leave me alone? (Yeah that isn't happening.) Tell Zach "what's up" and try and fix things so we arn't hostile? Or just go on living life hoping one day he gets over this all on his own?
I have nervous anxious butterflies. I'm scared of what will happen next and I'm not sure I want to know.
Tired of Freaking Boy Drama