just when you think youre on the edge, when you're fairly certain you just cant take any more, that you can't handle one more thing, it comes. it comes when you least expect. it 's there. pressing  down on you. suffocating you. making it very hard to breathe. cant find any air. cant find any space. cant find anywhere to be. cant handle it.  cant deal. and you just dont know what to do. truly. you really really dont. and you pray that someone would just make it all go away, take you away from it all, let you escape, help you get away...and you know that it will never happen. not for you. and you think maybe youre being a bit of a drama queeen, maybe a bit melodramatic, but right now, it doesnt feel that way. and nobody knows how you feel. theyre there for you, yes. but they dont know, they dont really know how it feels because they cant. and you cant really tell anyone anyway. and youre sort of just stuck. with nowhere to go. nowhere to be. alone. in the worst way.