North Carolina, North Carolina
June 11
Birdwatcher Extraordinaire


MAY 26, 2010 2:32PM

Zack Just Died

Rate: 88 Flag



About an hour ago, Zack was hit by a car. He's dead. This is killing me, but I have to write this out. Terri is a mess, and I have to go bury my buddy. In what fucking wold is this right? In what fucking world, when you call a Vet, they won't even look at him without their blood money. Won't even let you in the door without money I don't have.

 I picked him up, and cleaned him up the best I could, and he didn't seem to have anything broken. He kept trying to crawl to me, and all I could do was rub him. I thought maybe he was just knocked down hard. But, after an hour, he died. Now, I have to bury another dog. I'll never bury another one. This is so fucking hard, but you are the only one's I can talk to.

I have to take a break, Too much shit is going wrong. I'm going to be off for at least a few days. I just don't know anymore. I don't know what the hell I'm trying to prove here anyway. I just wanted you to know how much I think off you, and I won't be around for awhile. I am really getting close to the fucking edge with life. Nothing changes, it just gets fucking worse every day.

I gotta go bury my buddy. Thank you for being there for me. I just didn't have anyone else to tell. I'll try and be back in a few day, but I'll let you know whats up. You have been to good to me for me not to let you know what's going on. I love you all. Say a prayer for a little dog, that that only liked to play and loved Terri and I. Thanks~

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Oh, I am so sorry for you and Terri. I am sending a prayer out right *NOW* and hoping for his little soul to mend as well as healing love for you and Terri.

I am so, so, so sorry.
I am so sorry that this happened. Take a break... you deserve one.
Oh, scanman! My heart goes out to you both! such losses tug at our hearts a long while. We will want to be here throughout. Just keep a channel open. My prayers for you during this tragic time.
Oh Scanner, you are just breaking my heart. Our little buddies are just never around long enough for us. I have had to put down two dogs in my life and my little sweetie, Trixie is now a very old little dog. I hate to see her age and now I find myself worrying over her in ways I never did before. When the dog I had before got old and sick, I wasn't able to get another dog for one reason or another for four years. That is when I got Trix. She was five and a half years old, huddled in a city shelter waiting out her last days before execution. I though about her age at the time, knowing I wouldn't have her for very long but happily I decided to take her home with me anyway. It is part of the bargain between dog and human. They give us everything they have for as long as possible and we bear the burden of knowing that some day too soon, they will be leaving us.
None of this can make you feel any better but just please know that while I may be the first to respond to your sad post, there are many among us who totally understand your sorrow. My best thoughts are with you today, my new friend.

Take care of yourself and Terri

Just...take care
oh no. I am so sorry scanner...terri....

this is terrible.
I am so sorry for your loss. Take good care of yourself and Terri on your break.
"my little dog -- a heartbeat at my feet" ~ Edith Wharton
don't lose heart, though I know you've lost a big piece today, my own is aching for you.
I'm so sorry. I remember when you told us you got him and how happy you were. We'll wait for you and look forward to you being back. xox
Oh scanner . . . you know we'll be here when you get back . . . do what can be done to take a break, let yourself breathe, weep awhile . . . be good to yourselves and each other man, and know that we're holding you both in our hearts . . . joining on Sparking's prayer . . .
I'm so very sorry, Scanner.
Aw, shit, man. I'm crying....
My condolences to you and Terri. I'm sorry you have to do this again, so soon after Scanner's death. Please take care yourselves.
Oh man, that just sucks.

take a long break to get your heart and head back together.
i am so, so sorry. my prayers are with all of you.
My sincere condolences on the loss of your beloved buddy.
Awwwwww man, another absolute pal lost. Get it out of your system. Get back here. And, there'll be another pal out there for you.
((((Terri ))))

RIP sweet Zack :( :(
he died with you and terri
he knew he was loved
he was a good boy
I feel so bad for you. Take care of yourself, and we'll be here if you want to talk about it more.
Scanner, I am so sorry for your loss. Take care.
Scanner, I am so sorry. We all know that dogs are like people, better than most. R.I.P. Zack.
Oh Scanner I am so sorry. My last pet, a cat named Pipkin died i my arms and I promised myself I would never do it again.'
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Pooches know more about love than most humans. I'm glad you had a great one in your life, and sorry that Zack is no longer with you.
I'm so sorry, Scanner. Sorry that you've lost your best friend and a wonderful dog in one. That sucks buckets. Sympathetic hugs to you and Terri.
**hug** My prayers and condolences to you and yours my friend. Always hard to lose a buddy like that. Trust me, I know!!! On all counts --- getting harder and harder to get up and moving here lately!!!!
I am so, so sorry scanner.
Hugs to you and Terri. I'm very sad at the loss of your buddy Zack. Please look after yourselves. We're only a keyboard away.
I'm so sorry, Scanner. So sorry. (((Hugs))) for both you and Terri.
Please, Scanner. Hold Terri and for God's sake HOLD ON! Whatever these wrenching life lessons are for, we will never know while we are here, but what we DO know is that there seems to be some sort of seemingly twisted cosmic pattern that exists and that as soon as your face is scraping the bottom of the well, you can almost count on being rescued by happier circumstance and lifted out of the muck. Right now I am crying for your precious loss. Soon, I'll cry tears of joy for your wondrous resurrection. It WILL be okay. In the meantime, we to you both.......
I just popped in for a brief moment, and saw this. I'm soooo sorry! There isn't anything anyone can do or say to make it better. Just know you provided a shelter dog with one heck of a great life. I saw so very very many who never had even one good day. Not one. They lived and died unloved, never knowing a home. Take a few days.
I think this is where the term heartache comes from - that deep, visceral, painful sorrow. I'm glad that you were there for your buddy and I'm sure that he was comforted by your presence and love.
So, so sorry.
I'm so sorry Scanner! It's heart breaking to lose someone who loves you unconditionally. Big hug.
Oh scanner, how horrible.
I'm so sorry.
So very sorry.
So sorry my friend, so sorry.
This is such a sad post. I am tearing up. I am so sorry for your loss and all the stress that is your life right now. Breath, take a break. We are with you. R.
Unbelievable. You lost your Scanner not long after I came here last year. I am beyond words at the losses you've had in the last few months. Best wishes.
Oh honey, I wish I could just hold both of you! I'm so sorry. Love and hugs to you both. And paws for your best friend.
I'n sure sorry to read this, Scanner. I know the loss of a beloved pet can be as devestating as any form of loss and grief. I know it's empty, but I have to say it anyway: Hang in there, buddy!
I am so sorry, so very sorry. Devastating.
Scanner, I mentioned before that I read your work but keep intmidate me , don't ask me why :) . You are not proving anything by being here you are just here, that is what we are all doing, finding a place to escape. I'm very sorry for your loss... hugs r.
i ache for you two. there's not much sadder than this. i'll be thinking of you, scanner.
very sorry to read this... i hope peace comes terri and your way.
Very sorry, scan man. I know only too well the pain of losing an animal. Feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to.
I don't know what to say Scanner..I'm crying with you....

love to you and Terri.....
Scanner, I am so sorry. I had to do the same thing with our cat.
Rated with mega hugs and I am here for ya if you need to vent.
Scanner, I will be praying for you both. PM me if you wish anytime.
I'm so sorry Scanner.
We'll be here and we'll listen.
Take care of yourself and Terri.
Losing a loyal furry friend in such a way is murder to our souls. We hurt so badly because we loved them so much.
What little comfort I can give here is nothing compared to the love he gave you.
Know that his selfless love will be with you forever, and that no matter what anyone tells you, there is a Truth that is bigger than this world.
Listen in the stillness to the quiet love in your heart. You will see him again.
The pain you live with now may never fade until that day, but have faith that one day, it will come.
My love is with you Scanner, and I hope beyond hope that you do not make the mistake I did, so many years ago when I lost my Buddy.
You have had more than your share of trials and tribulations lately. Here's to Blue Skies shining on you. Stay strong, I know you will.
I am so so so sorry Scanner.......
Oh, Scanner. I am so terribly sorry, so sorry I don't, for once, have the words. But then neither did your dear buddy...just wordless emotion and empathy. So I send best I can.
What an impresive show of love here for you Scanner. We'll all be here when you get back. Peace & Love to you and Terri.
Those sweet dogs offer us complete acceptance. There are those of us on OS that offer the same to you, along with a heap of understanding, empathy and a shoulder to lean on. I had a cat for 18 years. Not really the same as a good puppy dog, but I cried for days. I truly feel your pain along with you. Come back when you can.
Sorry to hear this Scanner.
This is awful. Take care of yourself and Terri.
I am so sorry and that isn't even enough, it can't even help and I hate this. I wish I could be there and comfort you both...I am so, so sorry. I am so sorry it is all I can say, so very sorry.
I am truly sorry for your loss - you and Terri both. Know that Zack loved you both and was very happy to be with you. Take your time to be with each other and grieve and then come back to us here at the OS where you both are loved. Not Smiling Jali.
oh, scanman, we are so with you, this broke my heart, peace and prayers for you and terri.
I am very sorry for your loss and I know how unbelievably heartbreaking it can be.

I had a basset hound for 12 ½ years. When he died, I was devastated. He was my best bud and a real character.

I came to the realization, that a dog that is with someone for a short while and who loves them very much is better than a dog that has a long life and is abused. Your little buddy knew you loved him and I am sure that was worth a lifetime for him.

When my dog died, I was not going to get another one because of the attachment. I then realized that getting another dog would enable me to give a great life to it, instead of it possibly being stuck in a bad situation. Strays and dogs in the pound are only looking for a chance at a nice life, even if it winds up being short. They are only looking for an inkling of love and care. You never know what is going to happen, but if they are loved, they have lived a great lifetime.

Don’t let life beat you down. The beauty of America is that we can all have differing opinions, no matter how much we disagree. Pets seem to be a common denominator that can bring people together because pets do not care about political views or agendas.

They just accept us for what we are, no strings attached.
From one who truly hated dogs until my daughter made me get one, I can attest that this is terrible, heartbreaking news. Things will even out...
So sorry to hear about your loss of your beloved dog. Maybe time away is the best thing. Thanks for letting us know. I'd be worried if you just up and were gone without word. I'm taking a break from blogging myself and jumping in when I can ... but right now I'm sending love to you and Terri. xo
Fuck! Does the shit ever end? Damn, I feel so bad for you brother. Losing a friend so suddenly is shocking, I know. Sending good vibes your way and kiss Terry for me.
Scanner~ I am so sorry. This is devastating news at any time, but it sounds like it is coming at a time when you are particularly fragile. We all certainly get put through some tests in this lifetime. Take good care, you and Terri.
The injustice of this situation truly kills my soul. I am so sorry. If there is anything I can do... please PM me. xxooxxxoooxxooo

I'm so sorry Scanner.
Really, really sorry to hear this Scanner. All I can manage to say. So very sorry.
My heart breaks for you. I hope you didn't have to see him hit. I still miss all of my dogs and I weep when I remember Sticky. He was a parott and it feels like you shouldn't love a bird as much as a dog, but they have so much personality. I can still see him walking back across the street towards me making little kissy face noises, just trying to get home when the bus ran right over him.
Condolences scanner. Losing a favorite pet is always rough, especially so violently and unexpectedly. I'm sure you'll be welcomed back here no matter how long a sojourn you need.
I'm so sorry, Scanner. I hope your humor and good nature get you through this somehow.
Shakespeare said it best in Hamlet: "When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions."

Losing a pet is so hard. I am sorry for your loss.
Oh Scanner, my heart aches for you, Terri and Zack. Sending up love to Zack and love and comfort to you and Terri.
Dearest Scanner, I am so very sorry. There is no love like the unconditional love of a beloved pet. Love and Prayers to you and Terri.
I am very sorry to hear that you have lost another dog, three in less than a year is three too many. I know all too well the special heartbreak of losing a young dog in the prime of it's life. I have been accused of being "overprotective" when it comes to my dogs, but I have learned that it only takes an instant for the worst to happen.

Very sorry that you are experiencing this heartache yet again.
This post is a fine benediction for Zack. Take solace in the fact that Zack was loved and loved. Bellwether is so right. The sympathy and empathy of your OS friends is remarkable and has to warm your heart. Don't stay away too long. I don't like to think of an OS without scanner.
Scanner, my dear friend. I just got home from work and I just read this.....I am so damned sorry. I know this pain and it sucks. You are right to take some time off from this place and get your head screwed on straight. That damn Vet needs his ass kicked.
My heart and condolences go out to you and Terri.
Scanner, I have no words to help you through this devastation. I have lost three beloved dogs, all through natural causes, and am preparing myself for the impending loss of my beloved 12-year-old Golden Retriever (just because, statistically speaking, it's bound to happen sooner rather than later). It's never easy, but losing Zack to an accident must be especially hard; you and Terri didn't have a chance to prepare yourselves and say your good-byes.

Just know that if you've loved a dog (or dogs), you can love another, as hard as that seems to contemplate right now. And that dog's life will be all the better for it, as will yours. Fortunately, there's not a limited supply of love: it expands to encompass those who need it most (including you, my dear man). Pass it on to your next pooch, knowing that you'll get it back from him/her in spades.
So sorry to hear this. Hang in there...things are bound to get better soon. They have to, right? sorry about the death of Zack, thinking of you and Terri.
Scanner. I am so sorry to read about this. Thinking of you and Zack this evening.
Dear Scanner, I am so sorry for your loss. Here's a poem about dogs I have long loved. My Great Pyrenees is at my feet as I write, a sweet soul that surely knows a lot, but won't tell me. Give yourself time to heal. No need to 'prove' anything on OS, I figger. Just be you and be part of this community that loves you.

Choosing A Dog 

"It's love," they say.
You touch 
the right one
and a whole half of the universe

wakes up, a new half.

Some people never find
 that half,
or they neglect it or trade it

for money or success and it dies.

The faces of big dogs tell,
over the years,

that size is a burden:
you enjoy it for awhile

but then maintenance gets to you.

When I get old I think I'll keep,
not a little
 dog, but a serious dog,

for the casual, drop-in criminal —

My kind of dog, unimpressed by

dress or manner, just knowing

what's really there by the smell.

Your good dogs, some things that they hear

they don't really want you to know —

it's too grim or ethereal.

And sometimes when they look in the fire

they see time going on and someone alone,

but they don't say anything.

~ by William Stafford, from The Way It Is. © Graywolf Press, 1998
I am so very sorry. It is so hard because your heart is so big. I am thinking of Zack and Terri and you. Much love.
I am so sorry for your loss. I am so impressed by the outpouring of empathy from the open salon community. You are make up such a wonderful and caring community.
Zack has enriched your lives in ways that will only continue to grow. Never forget him.
Scanner, I am very sorry to read about this sad news. Best wishes going out to you and Terri.
Scanner, I am in tears. The loss of a beloved pet is harder than many people believe. My deepest condolences.
Scanner.....You have my deepest sympathies.....
I'm very sorry for your loss. You're in our thoughts.
Life has not been fair to you and Terri when it comes to dogs. I don't even know what to say.
Hang in there. We love you.
So very sorry for your loss. Very sad.
OMG! I've been working non-stop. I saw this headline yesterday, but I couldn't get to it. Crap! I am in tears. I can't tell how much I sympathize with you. My dog means the world to me, and I will be destroyed when she leaves this world.
It just isn't right than one human being has to suffer so much over and over again. I love you Scanner. Please take the time you need and come back to us.

All Best. I know that I'm surprised as hell at how attached to my cat I have become.
this hurts, maybe because my dog and my virtual buddies are my best friends. Breathe, my friend. Breathe...
I don't think I can do more than say how sorry I am for all of you. Some of us don't keep pets, we adopt new family members. Losing one can be as devastating as losing a child or close friend. Combine this kind of grief with a lot of other trouble and it can be overwhelming. I want you to know that if needed I am here.
What fucking next? I am so so so so sorry to hear of Zack's death. There's a special place in hell for people like that vet.

You guys hold each other and build back up your strength. Everyone here is holding you too. "Lean on me, when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend; I'll help you carry on." Don't know who wrote it but I do know Bill Withers sang it. xxxooo
Oh my gosh! Im so sorry for your loss. Please come back when you can, I need you here.
that was sad....

I felt the same way when Sadie died too. She was a rare one.
Oh my God, what can I say Scanner, I am so sorry for your fur buddy. It is a awful feeling, it happened to me one afternoon, we all sat and did exactly the same thing you are doing, cry. I know all too well having a dog is definitely like family, or any other fur or feather creature we have. They are definitely family.
Scanner, I'm so sorry. These pets often become like members of the family! It's really a sign of humanity that we're able to feel the compassion that we do for animals.
oh. god.

tears. no words.
I am so sorry Scanner for you and Terry loosing your friend.
i am sooooooooo sorry. i know how you feel. i've had to bury my jess, faith & hope. and each time it was really hard. i know how you feel.

truly know your sadness. but don't give up on life.
It sucks - hugs across the ocean, mate
So sorry - this is terrible. It is so hard to lose a beloved pet. We are all thinking of you and Teri.
Oh, Scanner! I am writing this through tears. Yes, of course my prayers are with you and Terri. Zack, rest in peace and joy until your dear humans come to love you and play with you again. You were blessing and blessed with Zack, scanner. He knew your love for him was endless and priceless and perfect. He still knows. He's happy and free now and waiting for your joyful reunion.
May you find comfort and hope. Thanks for sharing your love of Zack with us.
Oh, I just read this now. I'm so so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is to lose a beloved pet so suddenly. Sending healing wishes your way.
Scanner, I just came by again to see if you had gotten my message. I discovered that my comment never got posted! That upsets me. Perhaps I didn't post it like I thought I did. Your post upset me so much that it made me cry....maybe that's why Imessed up when trying to leave a comment earlier. Although I can't remember exactly what I said, I basically just told you how sorry I felt and how bad I felt for you. As I mentioned, your news made me cry. Losing a beloved pet is so hard and although I can't know exactly how you are feeling, I know how bad I would be feeling in the same situation....and it would be bad. Just know that we are all here for you.
It takes more courage to love than anything else.
I am much to late, but I wanted to tell you how sorry I am about Zack. You and Terri have had a rough time lately and this is terrible at anytime, but worse it seems now. Please have hope for brighter times ahead.

Take care, my friend.
just checking in again...I hope you guys are hanging in there.

lots of people care...just know there are a lot of people here who care about you and feel for your loss. so sad...such a little guy.

listen, puppies are scary. I have one. they're everywhere. I can't do a damned thing except babysit my crazyass puppy. he wants to dig his way to the far east, he wants to go for walks alone, he likes everyone, especially everyone...he doesn't care...if he senses you're alive, he's checking you if he sees you, he's going over to you, even if there's a stupid car in his way. he's nuts.

consider getting an older dog. I know it's soon, but think about it. they need people, a home...somewhere down the line their people had to make a choice to let them go, sometimes for not good because they're old..

but listen.. they know the ropes. they know how to look out for themselves. and they're grateful as all getout if you give them a place to lay their heads and love them. my next is going to be an old boxer. as soon as this numbskull settles in and I can trust that he isn't going to eat the fucking rug because it's there and so is he.

love Cynthia
Scanner, huge condolences. I hear you, all the bad in your life comes to the fore with Zak's death. It was very touching to me that you came here to let us know so quickly. I am lighting a candle for you and Terri and Zak, and the pain, the seemingly unceasing pain. I doubt there is anyone here who can't relate. So sad, all good things to come, which I know, means nothing at this moment. Blessings upon you both. R
So sorry, Scanner. I know how badly my heart has been broken when I've lost a pet--and "pet" doesn't give them the proper status, because they are members of my family. In fact, I prefer them to the humans in my family and have loved them more deeply (as they have loved me) and grieved for them more deeply. My heartfelt, deepest condolences to you and Terri.
I'm sorry to hear. I have been offline for a few days due to illness. This is just heartbreaking.

I hope you can think about all the good days and love you gave and got from Zack. You'll see him on the Rainbow Bridge someday, but hopefully not too soon.

so sorry. I've not paid much attention to much of anything but my own damn troubles lately, so I didn't know until today. Just sorry. Truly sorry.
Scanner, I cannot tell you how sorry I am to hear about your beloved friend...our hearts are breaking....
Sorry about your dog. They are great friends and companions. although you may not believe it now, unlike humans, they are replaceable.
Scanner - hun, I'm so sorry I'm late with these condolences... I can't believe this has happened to you and Terri - it just seems increibdly unfair and heartbreaking. Please know I'm thinking about you and sending hugs as tight as I can.
we'll always be there for you
you came to the right place
Scanner, it hurts every time one looses a faithful animal friend but it is worth the pain. Without out our dog, cat and yes horse companions, we would have no one to accept us for just plain what we are unconditionally.

Your Zack will go to Rainbow Ridge and please do in time get another one. They need us. Adopt from a rescue. We adopt all our Golden Retrievers from the Retriever Rescue. We don't have to worry about our cats as they just wander up to our barn and declare it home.
Time heals, Sincerely.
Susan May
Terrible news, Scanner. I'm very sorry. My very best to you and Terri.